Updated: Sep 3
Each year in the month of November, I feel a special need to reflect on the goodness of God with deeper gratitude for His perfect plans and the way He grafted our family and home through adoption. Of course, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but for me, the reflection begins earlier as the month approaches and my subconscious mind reminds me that November is National Adoption Month.
Since I've had the blessing of being a bio and an adoptive mom, I can confidently share that there is absolutely no difference in the depth of love I carry for any of my children. In my heart, they each came to me as gifts from God. It doesn't matter whether they formed within my body or came from the womb of another. The truth is that each of my children were assigned to me and are here on loan from my Heavenly Father, who knew before the beginning of time what four children He would entrust to me.
With Great Detail
With great detail and love, God even created biological characteristics that my bio children carry within both of my children from China. These same characteristics reside in my body. The evidence is clearly remarkable. God creates families with intentional, personal, detailed care. His plans and purposes shine more brightly than anything we can imagine.
Adoptive parents care so much about the grafting of families because it doesn't come easily. With each graft comes preparation, planning, and purpose. Even though I went through the process of pills and shots to conceive my second child, I still took motherhood for granted the first two times. Overall, it was easy to have my children and bring them home from the hospital. No one ever stopped us in stores to ask prying, intrusive questions because their skin was a slightly different color than mine. No one remarked about their looks. I never had to think about the best ways to ensure that my children recognized me as their mother, depended on me for love and protection, or wonder when events might trigger past trauma I knew nothing about or how I could help a child trapped in a meltdown of trying to process emotions. I never had to wonder whether my child would bond and attach to me or how to make them trust that I would do absolutely anything for them.
The most amazing miracles happen when we trust our Father to create a family. I never thought about the holiness of adoption until after I began walking the road that led me on this beautiful journey. My Savior, my Jesus, the One I yearn to follow and please, was also adopted. My Heavenly Father purposed adoption into His plan from the beginning. He knew the brokenness of this world and the humans living within. God knew the Way, the Truth, and the Life must come from the humblest of beginnings to reach everyone with the truth of His purposed love and mercy. Even more, the gift continues through the beauty and truth of the gospel and how we are redeemed and adopted into God's family. Adoption isn't the story of those society thought had no life; it is the story of how we are all meant to come to life.
In the same way a plant or tree hosts and encourages new life through a graft, my heart and home have learned the power of purposed care. I know that the root stock has to be firmly and healthily established before the two plants may grow together as one. Without the saving grace of my Father, I am nothing. Through Him, I am everything needed to reach my children where God knows they hurt and what they need. God has provided and protected my family each step of the last two decades. My reliance on self has dwindled as I revel in the care of my Father. Through the work He purposes through me, I have seen tender growth from barrenness, beauty from ashes, and witnessed love blossom and flourish from dry ground. Tender roots that sought nourishment have been revived and strengthened to deeply stretch into the rich soil of His grace, mercy, and provision. He makes all things new because He is the Author and Giver of Life.
As I continue to look to Him to transform my character, mind, and heart daily, He allows me to be the mentor my children need as I draw them nearer to Him. I am the mother He entrusted to raise them with His loving kindness and beauty of spirit. God didn't call me to parent two children from halfway around the world with no plan. He created the blueprint of our home and happiness when He created them to come to me. He knew He could trust me to call on His strength and direction, His purpose and protection in all I do. The most beautiful truth is that He will do the same for every one of us. Whether it be a child in need, a wayward son or daughter, a difficult relationship with a spouse, in-law issues, or whatever trials this world brings, He is present and He is enough.
November brings awareness of National Adoption Month, but for me, it always carries a reminder of how much I have to be grateful for. Just as Thanksgiving should remind us of how blessed we are to even take our first morning breath, I pray this month exhibits how deeply our Father loves. How far He sees, how far our Father extends mercy. How intimately our Father provides. May the blessings and reminders of this month prepare you for Christmas and enable you to revel in the joy and beauty of a future with Christ because God chose to send His perfect, sinless Son to show us the way to Him and adopt us into His Forever Family. May your roots extend into deeper, richer soil as you allow Him to graft His Holy Spirit into your broken body and provide in intimate, personal ways only He can know and you can trust one moment at a time.