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  • Terri Hitt | Podcast | Purposed Parent Connected Child |

    Mothers are the front line to mentor Jesus. You're the first Jesus your child sees. The Purposed Parent Connected Child podcast will lead you to parent with Christ in the center of your heart and home as you prayerfully parent with purpose. Purposed Parent, Connected Child Transcriptions Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 113 - Are You Parenting Your Toddlers for the Teen Years? Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 112 - How to Protect Innocence in Childhood Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 111 - SugarFreed - Interview with Christine Trimpe Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 110 - Ways to Show Your Child Christlike Character Every Day Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 109 - How Your Productivity is Holding You Back Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 108 - Your Home is the Key to Safeguarding Your Children Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast- Episode 107 - Why It's Important to Teach Your Child to Prioritize Jesus Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 106 - How to Listen So Your Child Hears You Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 105 - How to Move From Overwhelmed to Overjoyed Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 104 - How My Daughter Showed Me God's Love Language Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 103 - The Power of Teaching Patience to Your Child Read More Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 102 - How To Go From Never Enough Time to More Than Enough - Interview with Lissa Figgins Read More

  • Terri Hitt | Purposed Parent Connected Child | Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 113 - Are You Parenting Your Toddlers for the Teen Years?

    < Back Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 113 - Are You Parenting Your Toddlers for the Teen Years? Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 113 – Are You Parenting Your Toddlers for the Teen Years Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast gives you the awareness and tools you need to STOP being a GOOD mom and BECOME the GODLY mom God entrusts you to be. Then you will be the SET-APART woman PURPOSELY raising children to chase CHRIST over culture. Just a quick reminder as we start, if you enjoy Purposed Parent Connected Child podcast episodes, would you please share this episode or others with a friend or family member? When you graciously take a moment to do that, and leave a rating or review at Apple Podcast, you are ensuring that others will find the podcast. When you do, you’re helping affect generations for Jesus. Now on to an important question to consider in this episode…are you parenting your toddlers for the teen years? Parenthood gives mothers such unique abilities to learn about relationships. Not only how to foster relationships, but how to recognize potential issues early in relationships and try to avoid those problems. We see our children up close and personal…and they see us, too. Just as our kids know us well by watching and cataloging our expressions, actions, and words, observant mothers will use everyday opportunities to view and evaluate how well our children listen, obey, and care for others. Do they show kindness, respect, and truth? How well are they responding to the truths of God that we present to them in multiple ways daily? Are you aware that the way you parent your toddlers can help set your teens up for failure or success? Common threads are often uncovered among parents when they chat about navigating the tapestry of the teen years, but for the most part mothers don’t share for fear or judgement, rejection, or embarrassment. I find it interesting that when parents are in the throes of raising toddlers, there’s more levity in what’s shared than when a parent is battling an issue with their teen. When a mother is living hard days with a teen in the home, the entire household can be affected for days or months. Although they need guidance or support, women are reluctant to share such personal struggles, and the actions of a wayward or obstinate teen can cause everyone in the home to struggle. On the flip side, it’s much easier to ignore or distract the behavior of a toddler. For example, when a toddler refuses to wear an article of clothing, a mother learns that the next time she wants her child to get dressed she won’t ask. Instead, the next time she’ll prepare her child with a transition between activities and will give her toddler two choices, both of which she has already picked as options. “It’s time to get dressed. You can wear this dress or this one.” Or “It’s time to get dressed. Today you can wear this shirt or this shirt.” Hold the choices up in front of them or lay them on a bed in front of the toddler and let them choose. Of course, if you don’t have a child who cares about the clothing they wear, you don’t need to start the options phase. Don’t bring challenges into your life. Continue picking out their clothes and move on quickly in your morning routine. However, when you recognize that what your child wears matters to him or her, allow your child the freedom to have autonomy. On the other hand, when your teen refuses to wear something you’ve asked them to, and they begin dressing in ways you don’t approve of, the challenge feels much harder. It is, but the way you prepare your child for the teen years while you parent the toddler years and between will make those teen years much less challenging for both of you. You’ll also ensure you don’t create barriers by reacting in ways totally different than any other time in their life. For example, when your child is young, you make life easier by giving them choices you approve of. As your child grows, their ability to reason grows with them. As you see ways they are changing, you begin to build on groundwork you’ve already poured to make that foundation of your relationship stronger. You offer different choices depending on age and abilities, but you’ve been working with them over the years to help your child learn how to reason logically and biblically and to make wise choices. Remember that every child is as unique as a snowflake. They’ll each develop at their own God-given pace, however, there are ways to predict the most common times children will develop new skills. When we look at phases of human development, we see that in the toddler phase of development, children need to get good sleep, nutrition, stimulation, and need to continue building close bonds with their caregivers. So, using the example of attire, if you don’t want your teen to wear certain clothing, you must nourish your relationship and their decision-making in certain ways. I knew I didn’t want my youngest daughters to wear skimpy clothing when they were teens or adults, so I wanted to instill morals and integrity in them that would teach them to want to dress conservatively. Now, at 18 and 20 years of age, they both dress with reserve, yet are still stylish and choose their own clothing based on personality and interests, while remaining modest and current. Because it was a priority to me to teach my girls to respect their body (and not desire to flaunt theirs the way we see women doing on social media), and because I didn’t want them to wear tight, short spandex dresses that almost look like an article of shapewear, I took purposed steps when they were toddlers. Here are some of the most important ways I planned for my girls to dress in the ways I believed God would approve: First, I didn’t dress in the ways I didn’t want my daughters to dress. Next, I didn’t compliment women who dressed in that way. I drew attention to others who dressed modestly, yet stylishly. Finally, I didn’t purchase that type of clothing for my girls, even when they were small. I didn’t place bikinis on them in public, because I didn’t want them to wear them as teens. Since I believed God would find it more pleasing for my girls to wear a modest one-piece swimsuit, that’s what I dressed them in as toddlers. It’s what they got used to wearing. It’s what I also wore when I put a swimsuit on. I also taught the girls these things to think about attire over the years: Is this outfit right for the climate/weather? Is this outfit appropriate for the event I’m attending? Will I be comfortable in my choice? Will my choice of clothing be respectful of others in attendance? I know attire is one simple example, but the same principle applies to other areas of parenting toddlers so that you lay the groundwork for smoother teen years. There are many ways parenting teens and toddlers compliment each other or leave you with similar challenges, so let’s examine a few of those ways. 1. Parents find raising teens challenging because they feel it is hard to talk about certain topics such as sex with their children. When the kids are young, parents are reluctant to talk about those subjects, even though society today is causing parents to broach those topics at younger and younger ages and phases of childhood. So, the parent, who should be able to use their common and God-given sense to know when to approach topics feels pushed to teach things they’re uncomfortable with or they don’t want to harm their child by discussing. Then, on the flip side, once children are teens, parents might find certain topics embarrassing for them or their children, and become slow to tackle that topic. However, if parents wait too long, they may have a teen who has gotten into trouble because they were too naïve to know to stay away from something, or you may find your teen in a dangerous situation because they were never warned or taught godly morals around that situation. You may also have a young child frightened before it is time to hear of certain topics. At either end, if the timing isn’t right, parents may cause issues that could have been avoided, or they may cause trust issues between them and their children after children see or hear about delicate topics from unsavory or untrustworthy sources. 2. Toddlers and teens both have anger, frustration, or distractions that seem very similar to one another. Remember, the temper tantrums, bossiness, and new skill sets you navigate with your toddler can set up your relationship with your teen to be more closely bonded. 3. Both toddlers and teen are searching for identity. Be sure to teach your child godly identity in Jesus because you have (and continue) to deepen yours with Him. Just knowing the gospel won’t be enough for your child to grasp and construct their own house of faith. Be sure that they see Jesus really is important to you, not just words you speak or actions you take, like religiously going to church every week, then leaving Jesus at the door to your home. 4. Notice the strengths and weaknesses your toddler exhibits and direct those in Christlike ways as he grows. Consider the ways your child reacts to trials and triumphs. Is he easily frustrated or angered as a toddler? Help him by your tone, reactions, words, etc. to teach him how to battle and conquer ways of handlings situations in godly ways. 5. Teach your children godly characteristics like honesty, integrity, love, kindness, patience, etc. from toddlerhood. Root those qualities in God’s truths and show them in your own life. This will set them up to carry those same qualities that have been strengthened over the years, like a muscle that has been exercised. 6. Take note of the gifts, talents, and interests God has purposed in your children. As they grow, help them navigate how to stay true to who God made them to be while remaining rooted in His truths. Help them find how to use the gifts, talents, and interests in ways that honor God and serve His purpose for them. 7. Make time to be with your toddler, not only in everyday care, but in play and relaxation. Go outdoors together. Roll on the floor and laugh together. Play games together. Color or draw together. Play ball. Search for insects outdoors or find beautiful leaves on the trees. Let your inner child be revived as you find ways to spend time together. Use your imagination and creativity, or use theirs, but have fun just being together. When you laugh together when your child is a toddler, you’re more apt to continue that routine as they grow and enjoy fun times together when they become a teen. 8. Be there for your toddler when they’re afraid or hurting. Even when it’s hard, let them see that you love them enough to be brave and present when life is hard. Model how to ask God to carry you all through the hard times and show them a pure faith that doesn’t turn away through hard or easy times. 9. Speak God’s truths and Words to your toddlers and teens through conversations, everyday life, and prayers. Think of how many similarities there are between toddlers and teens. Both ends of your parenting years can have many of the same interests and characteristics. Listen to these qualities and you will recognize that they apply to toddlers and teens. Selfishness, mood swings, and egos that think the world revolves around them, know-it-all attitudes, desire to gather people and friends, the desire to be independent, even if they’re not ready, risky behaviors (as a toddler your child may run into traffic or climb bookshelves and your teen may partake in dangerous or sneaky behaviors such as smoking, sex, drugs, alcohol, driving dangerously, stealing, or lying. Both toddlers and teens may begin these actions when they need more attention or they may have personalities that are impulsive and inquisitive. Either way, your children, both toddlers and teens, need close, loving guidance toward a loving Savior by a parent who lives what they preach. Remember it is key to be building your own strong identity in Christ. If you have questions about how to do that, please connect with me at info@terrihitt.com . Also, love your toddler and your teen in ways they understand and need. You know your children better than anyone else. The Bible and a strong walk with God will be your guiding tools. Connection with other godly individuals sharing experiences will help you when you’re hurting or confused about how to parent. Connect with your children intentionally – connect with them personally, and connect them to Christ. Don’t treat your children as an afterthought. Let them know how important they are to you. Know their body language and love language. You don’t have to pamper or spoil your children, but you do need to prioritize them over selfish needs. Respect your children and teach them to respect you and most importantly, God. Let your children know you are chosen and entrusted by God to raise them for Him. Foster obedience Don’t exasperate Look to God to guide and guard your parenting decisions. Pray. Put God first in your own life. Read the Word daily – and also read and study the Word together. You have time. It’s all in what you prioritize. Find answers together when your kids have questions you don’t know. Discipline to disciple, not punish Be a godly, not good parent Don’t try to be your child’s best friend. They need godly parents. Infuse your home with a genuine, godly atmosphere. Teach integrity. Make your home a safe place. Enjoy your child’s friends – welcome them, get to know them. Help your kids know how to choose godly, faithful friends. Have godly entertainment in your home (music, books, shows, artwork, etc,). I ‘ve included a few Bible verses you may use to pray over your children or to teach them. Use the concept when your children are young, as they mature, teach the full verse. 1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 2 Timothy 2:22-26 says, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.” Ecclesiastes 11:9 says, “Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.” 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Psalms 119:9 says, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Dear Heavenly Father, how great You are, our holy Maker of Heaven and Earth. Thank you for your generosity to us. We in no way deserve to be raising Your precious children, yet You entrust them to us. Equip us to be godly parents who chase You over culture and teach our children to do the same. Work within us. Change us. Mold us into the mothers You desire us to be. Give us a thirst for You that nothing else will quench and help our children to thirst for You, too. Please equip us to raise children who come to know, honor, obey, and serve You with humble love and gratitude. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen. This is the part of the episode that you usually hear me talk about the Set-Apart Collective. Today I want to share about my new mini program called “Establish Identity.” Why? Your identity is a major force behind what you do. Who you believe yourself to be, and who you find your identity through affects the way you live, parent, love, serve, and discipline. Your identity is one of the lifelines, a pulse point of your home. Do you ever stop to think that you are the first Jesus your child will see? Even if they are grown, your identity affects your child. The way you think, speak, and react is rooted in your identity. Send me a message at info@terrihitt.com if you’d like details or go to terrihitt.com and join my email list. You’ll get updates before anyone else and hear a little about what makes this so important. If you join the email list you’ll also be able to access free resources such as my new Good to Godly: A 31 Day Scripture and Prayer Guide for Moms. One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ Previous Next

  • Terri Hitt | Purposed Parent Connected Child | Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 112 - How to Protect Innocence in Childhood

    < Back Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 112 - How to Protect Innocence in Childhood Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 112 – How to Protect Innocence in Childhood Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast gives you the awareness and tools you need to STOP being a GOOD mom and BECOME the GODLY mom God entrusts you to be. Then you will be the SET-APART woman PURPOSELY raising children to chase CHRIST over culture. Just a quick reminder as we start, if you enjoy Purposed Parent Connected Child podcast episodes, would you please share this episode or others with a friend or family member? When you graciously take a moment to do that, and leave a rating or review at Apple Podcast, you are ensuring that others will find the podcast. When you do, you’re helping affect generations for Jesus. Now on to our important episode about how to keep innocence in childhood. I adored the perspective our middle daughter Marissa carried when she was a tiny girl. Actually, still to this day she has the same artistic eye and genuine joy for seeing beauty in the world. One day as we were walking on a sunny day, she exclaimed, “Oh! Look at the sparkles on the sidewalk.” I’d already raised two children to adulthood and survived my own childhood. Yet I don’t remember ever noticing sparkles in the concrete. But, just as she said, when I looked at the sidewalk, tiny sprinkles of silver sparkled back. Even to this day, some fifteen or sixteen years later I look for sparkles of joy in concrete. Matthew 18:1-6 says, “At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea .” Babies have such innocent, trusting souls. God could have brought His children into the world as adults. Instead, He brought us in as infants to be nurtured, protected, and pointed to Him. The beauty of childhood should be celebrated with trust, shaped to care for others, consider others your friends, and treat others with Christlike love because pure joy emanates from your heart. Think of the beauty childhood and little lives should be filled with. Kids enjoy finding hearts in the shapes of nature, seeing animals in clouds, and enjoy raindrops, mud, and snowy days just as much as a sunny day. They see beauty in uniqueness and don’t want anyone to feel sad or hurt. They speak from the heart, offer compliments simply and joyfully, twirl on a whim, and believe everyone is beautiful. However, societal shifts sneakily indoctrinate children with agendas at early ages and without parental consent. Children are exposed to adult materials and mindsets much earlier than decades before, yet they remain underequipped emotionally or spiritually to handle the images, knowledge, actions, or emotions impressed on their innocent minds. Why should it matter that innocence is in jeopardy? Don’t people say kids are resilient? Our godless culture is disregarding God’s design for the innocence of children. Society is erasing the God-assigned role of the parent to shepherd the heart and mind of the children He has entrusted to us. Society has been progressively promoting and glamourizing sin for decades. But now there seems to be a targeted push for children, who should be intentionally raised to know Jesus clearly and follow Him with dedication born from love and faith – not religion. Instead, the children are being lost to a culture with worldly morality and without godly intentions. God’s children aren’t being grounded in purposed faith that’s rooted in His Word and ways. Instead, we’re being lured and absorbed into a culture without absolute Truth. As parents, our personal identity must be secure in God through Jesus and in our faith-fueled relationship with Him. He must be the compass that guides and guards our heart and home. We must purposely search and study Scripture so we’re equipped to shelter, counsel, and prepare the children entrusted to us in Christlike and godly ways. As believers and guardians of precious children God commanded us to shepherd, we must commit through eyes fixed on eternity , to check what enters the life of our children, and also what surrounds them. We must be prepared proactively, not reactively, to fight as godly-centered warriors for the heart and mind of our children. Our concerns and cautions should be strong to protect from the evil influences of this world and provide godliness and Truth for our children. For example, sometimes we shelter from – and sometimes we allow access to things of this world. But when we allow access, it is in ways that direct with discussion and determination toward and through Christ. It is providing stability and strength for our children to grow into mature Christians who live in this world, but are not part of it. We’re to equip them to grow in strength and stature, able to form critical, godly thinking. You were divinely appointed and the children in your care were specifically chosen to be guarded and influenced by you. You were entrusted with the tender, yet challenging position of raising them for the King of Kings. The only way you are able to complete that monumental, but glorious task is through His strength and truths. As you teach relationship with God through Jesus and in the words you preach, intentionally guide your children into the arms of Jesus. Every obstacle is an opportunity to bring them to Him. Disciple them continually in light of eternity and you will find it easier to combat cultural influences and raise children who seek and stand for godly values because they carry an intimate relationship with Him. Remember, your children see you more clearly than you see yourself. Let your actions and your words send them straight to Christ. Be vigilant. Scripture tells us that the devil is out to steal, kill, and destroy. The world proves the truth of these words from Christ. I know you’re already aware of the importance of this issue. So what do we do about it? Be diligent! So often parents either ignorantly or lazily neglect to guide and guard the way God demands. Whether we are deceived or defiant, the lives of God’s precious children are touched and changed. I don’t need to list the “how’s’ of protecting children from this culture. You’ve already heard ways to keep ungodly values out of your home and several Purposed Parent Connected Child episodes are available to guide you. But I do want to remind you to keep your guard raised. Build the fence of protection far from the cliff. Don’t build that barrier right on the cliff, because as the ground your child is on erodes, that hedge will fall, and you want plenty of protection around the children God entrusted to you. Take each day captive for Christ. Don’t let schedules dictate the level of your parenting or protection. Fast paces and packed timelines keep parents from investing the needed time to talk to or play with kids to build connection to keep and foster purity in hearts and home. They deceive us into thinking we don’t have time to read God’s Word, study and teach it to our children, or have time to pray. It’s all how you choose to prioritize. Will it be God first? Do you choose to teach the children in your home the world or the Word? It's time for good mothers to take a stand and commit to becoming the godly mom God entrusted and equips you to be. Keeping innocence in the home begins and ends with you. I recently released an item that I am happy to share at no charge. Visit terrihitt.com to receive a complimentary 31-Day Prayer & Scripture Guide to help you jumpstart this or continue this sacred journey. Coming soon, I’ll have devotionals you can use with your babies and children. The first edition for tiny hearts is already complete, but just not on the website yet. Additional devotionals are in the process of being written now and will be available this year. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for Your loving kindness and mercies to us. Thank you for entrusting us to be the guide and guardian for Your children. Your gracious, loving gift to us is beyond our human understanding. God, You clearly instruct us in Your Word to raise children to know, follow, hear, love, and obey You. We’re to talk of You when we rise up, when we lie down, when we walk along the way. We’re to infuse Your presence and Spirit into all aspects of our life and the lives of Your Children. Thank you for this beautiful picture of Your grace, Father. Help us be and remain obedient and joyful as we strive to become the godly women and mothers only You can equip us to be. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen. Because your home is key to safeguarding your children, I want to share a sweet and innocent company that has the same mission to safeguard the hearts and minds of children - Melane & Co. This shop was created by my middle daughter, who is the artist behind the watercolor creations available. Are you disgusted with book illustrations that honor darkness, not light? Have you ever taken your child to a gathering or been in the home of another person who has art hanging on the walls that simply isn’t God-honoring? Whether you’re looking through magazines, visiting a gallery, or a friend’s home, your kids have probably been exposed to artwork that you just wish they hadn’t seen. Has this happened to you? If it hasn’t yet, it probably will. But your home can be a place of refuge. Remember, under God’s command, you are responsible for safeguarding the heart and home of your children. If you’re looking for home décor that your child can grow up with and that won’t cause a flush to spread across your faces, Melane & Co. has gentle, beautiful watercolor prints, cards, and custom floral or pet paintings that bring joy and delight to young and old. Raising children is challenging. Don’t let artwork be another stumbling block. I invite you to visit Melane & Co. at www.melaneandco.com for a variety of pieces to bring a smile to your faces and walls. You’ll find fine quality watercolor cards you can use for gifts to family, friends, or teachers. If your home has a furry family member or two, you’ll also see a way to include them in your décor. A custom portrait of your pet is a timeless way to remember the joy they give so effortlessly daily. Any way you can honor God in your home with classic pieces that are sweet to the eyes and soul help you mentor Christ in beautiful ways. Visit Melane & Co. today. One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ. 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  • My Life Story on Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian - Parenting with an Eternal Perspective

    When I parented my first set of children, I was a baby myself. Having them at eighteen and twenty-one made me the youngest mother everywhere I went. Since I had no experience, I wish I could proclaim that I’d carried confidence and courage to parent the unique children God entrusted to me, but instead, I was swayed by parents, doctors, older friends, and books or magazine articles I read. Everyone applauded me for being such a good mother. Although the praise felt wonderful, I didn’t know what I know now. I needed to stop being a good mom. What’s wrong with being a good mom? Nothing…and everything. My husband and I did everything the world expects you to do when raising children. We were present, supportive, loving, kind, and complimentary. All our children’s needs and most of their wants were provided. They had birthday parties with friends, celebrated holidays with lots of family, received vehicles when they began to drive and had good friends. We were very good parents.  In hindsight, and after deep introspection, I can see that our parenting was also worldly. Instead of humbly submitting to God moment by moment and asking for direction on how to raise each of our unique children for Him, we loved God and spoke of God, yet ignorantly supported our children with worldly direction and wisdom. It took deep introspection to see that being a good mom might seem right to most people, but God requires us to be godly parents. Fast forward almost twenty years…my husband and I weren’t even forty when both of our children graduated from high school. By the time my husband and I were in our early forties, God surprised us with a plan neither of us had seen coming. We both experienced what we called a dream or a vision that showed us we had a daughter in China. When we compared our stories, we knew God was at work. As we began looking back on our parenting years and assessing what we felt was done well and what we would want to change, we began praying together for guidance on how to raise this baby in all ways that would give God joy and allow her to be a light for Him. Over the years, our relationship with Jesus had matured, and we knew that He was offering us both an opportunity to parent with an eternal perspective. When our baby (the one we brought home from China) was four years old, our oldest daughter passed away at the age of twenty-nine. It was the deepest hurt I’ve experienced. I had to remind myself to breathe because the pain crushing my chest made it hard to inhale. After this loss, I felt like I lived with one foot here and one in Heaven. Through this deep grief, God exposed His character in ways I had never imagined. I was walking closely with Him but never had to rely on the truths I had read and learned from the Bible. When I was forced to choose whether I would faithfully believe in His goodness and provisions, He proved to me that He is everything His Word says and more than I can comprehend. His faithfulness, mercy, and compassion lifted me above the depth of despair and carried me until I could stand on my feet again. Yet, I didn’t leave His arms. My experience taught me that the safest place to stay is beneath His wings, where He provides all I need for the moment. Now, I am able to parent with an eternal perspective that has been refined through God’s holy love and intimate care. I’m no longer a good mother, but I strive each moment to become a godlier parent for the beautiful children He has entrusted to my care. Those are just several topics I discussed with my friend, Ruth Hovsepian. Ruth is a speaker, writer, and podcast host of "Out of the Darkness." She invites women to find peace, joy, and fulfillment in life through practical tips and tools. Ruth has a mighty testimony herself, and I hope you enjoy listening enough that you get to hear more of her podcast. We recorded this podcast episode together, and I hope you'll take a listen, because our conversation will impact you and your family for ETERNITY: Here's several takeaways from our podcast episode together: ✔ Parenting with eternal perspective means relying on Christ and inhaling God's presence to exhale it onto our children. ✔ Discipleship is crucial in raising children with a strong foundation in Christ. ✔ Even as parents of older children, it is never too late to minister to them and help them grow in their faith. ✔ Being present emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually is essential in parenting. ✔ Difficult parenting experiences can help us grow closer to God and strengthen our relationships with our children. Click here to listen to my conversation with Ruth Hovsepian.

  • A Heated Topic

    Hi there, it's Marissa! You may know me from seeing me on Mom's social media pages, listening to my podcast episode with Mom , in real life, or are just finding us now. However you found this blog post, I want to give you a warm welcome - but not too warm, because this is a story about how our home could have been up in flames. Life is anything but convenient. While I was out and about one day, I picked up my phone. Much to my surprise, the home button on my iPhone was extremely hot. It was one of the most scalding surfaces I had ever come in contact with. Thankfully, only the button of my phone reached this temperature, and after I drove home, my dad picked me up to make a trip to the Apple store. It turned out my phone's battery was in poor condition, and I would need a new screen, button, and battery. I took my phone home while I waited for the replacement parts to arrive. The next day, the extremely hot button appeared again. And again. After that, I considered my phone a possible fire hazard, and I ended up turning it off, leaving what I considered a ticking time bomb (the few times I used it) on our kitchen fireplace mantel for several days. I didn't love the thought of missing important messages, or not posting for our business, Melane & Co. This seemed to be an ordeal that was anything but ideal, but sometimes, such is life. However, I found that it was refreshing not to have my phone by my side. I missed some messages, but I found I was slightly more productive while I was away from my device that was too hot to handle. My work routines hadn't changed that much, but I felt as though I was more creative and slightly more efficient. I got a little bit of more work done each day I didn't have my phone. It was a small change, but it made a difference. With each passing day, I completed more tasks than I would have, and in the end, I know my device collecting dust added extra efficiency to my days. Instead of scrolling on Instagram for a minute, I made the most out of minutes by thinking of the next thing I could get done. I had already done this when I had my phone, but I filled up my schedule without having my social media feeds at my fingertips. Each day, I finished more than I would have if I'd had my phone. Was it slightly inconvenient to be without a phone? Oh, yes. However, I accomplished more than I would have, little by little. Today is the day I received my phone back fully repaired, and this event gave me an interesting perspective on habits. By being without a phone for several days, I got a little extra work done, and I felt more carefree. I was afraid I would miss some messages for business, and I missed messaging some of my friends, but besides that, this small disadvantage allowed me to move further into my creativity, work, a good book, and an elevated easygoing mindset. By removing myself from this small device for several days, I thought of a heated topic to ponder: what are the seemingly small facets in our life that are holding us back mentally, as well as spiritually? Maybe it's a fear, a suffocating schedule, and/or it can be as simple as starting your day off without a prayer. I believe the smallest changes can make the biggest differences. So, hopefully your phone won't be a ticking time bomb or potential fire hazard, but to deepen your walk with Christ, I suggest two questions to consider. What barriers do you have? What do you think the effects on your life might be if you took those barriers away? Making moves for a more God-honoring life may be uncomfortable, inconvenient, or frightening. It may take a leap of faith, or a small step, but in the end and for eternity, these subtle or sweeping shifts will be oh-so worth it. Marissa

  • A Different Kind of Dream Home

    It's still easy to remember those difficult nights I awakened at 4am to feed my middle daughter. At 44 years old, those sleep disturbed nights were tough! Since I had already raised two, I knew this was simply a season, but months of broken rest left me completely exhausted. One morning I had just slipped into bed. It must have been around 3am, and I had just gotten our baby to sleep. As soon as my head rested on the pillow and I turned to my side, sleep rushed over me. It lasted about two minutes before our girl started crying again. I was not going to leave our precious daughter crying when she had been alone for months. She needed to know she was safe and I could be relied on. As I fell to my knees after getting out of bed, I prayed for God to sustain me and give me exactly what our girl needed. One night stands out as lovely reminder of His presence and provisions. That early morning as I rocked my sweet baby in the moonlit corner of her bedroom, I envisioned our future. Her future. Because I had brought her home from China when she was ten months of age, I felt like we had already lost precious time. As I thought about what we had missed, I felt a stirring of possibilities within me. Instead of thinking about what I considered lost, I needed to focus on all that we had to look forward to together. I began praying specific prayers for our future. The life she would live. The impact God would make through her. I even prayed for our home - the literal house we lived in. We had already raised two children, our son and daughter, in that home. It was a sufficient three bedroom, one bathroom home that had been filled with memories created and captured over 22 years. The floor plan, however, especially the fact that the house had only one bathroom that was connected to our master bedroom and did not have a profile easy to add to, had left us wondering if we should finally make the move to another place as we began raising another daughter. As I quietly fed, rocked, talked, and sang to my girl, I also petitioned God. If it was His will that we move, I asked Him to show us His path. I wasn't sure if it was selfishness or submission, but I began telling God all the features I would love if we ever found a new home. Sharing my heart felt good. I knew God already knew my deepest desires, but I also knew He understood even more deeply what I needed. He knew the plans He had for me, my husband, our grown children, and our beautiful baby. Plans He had ordained before the beginning of time were already set. He knew where we should be living and for what purposes, but He still wanted to hear my heart and intentions. As I prayed the desires for my dream home out loud to God, I envisioned the space. It wasn't the grandest home, but it was certainly a larger, more convenient floor plan. Especially because it had more than one bathroom! Adding more of that modern convenience was the number one necessity in my mind. Although I didn't need it, I also requested a home office. For some reason, it had always been a secret desire, a place to set aside for important purposes. In my heart, I desired a home office as one of my top requests, right under another bathroom, of course. As months passed, we began looking for a new home. Nothing seemed to be the right fit until we found a story and a half that seemed perfect. At the last minute the contract fell through because the bank wouldn't let the seller continue. When I asked our realtor if she could find another home with that floor plan or one similar, she began a search that eventually led us to the exact plan. The day we toured the home was so exciting! After walking through the home, we didn't choose to purchase the place, however. In the same neighborhood there was a home that was similar, but larger, with tiny, significant details only God knew we would appreciate. We've now lived in the home I prayed about for eighteen years. In it, we've held ministry meetings, Bible studies, hosted adoption groups, held overnight visitors, and began ministries for God. My office allowed me to easily produce two podcasts that honor the Lord. In this office, I created a women's collective and various resources that point others to Him. We've also adopted again and have enough bedrooms and bathrooms to keep everyone happy. Could we have done the same things in our old home? Absolutely! But only God knew that moving to my dream house would allow us to meet the people who have become important in our life. Neighbors, churches, and community events that we wouldn't have been a part of if we had stayed where we were living were meant to be what continued growing us in Him. I consider the house I prayed for to be a different kind of dream home. Why? Although I had a list of qualities that would be nice to have, I didn't pray for a place that would impress others or be the fanciest in the neighborhood. Instead, my heart deeply desired a home full of the fruits of the spirit. I wanted a house that held Jesus within the walls of our heart. When we humbly follow Him, and come before Him with a desire to please and honor Him, He recognizes the cries of our heart. Sometimes He gives us exactly what we request. Other times He doesn't. But His answer is always good. Each time He listens, He cares, and He offers us His very best for the situation and to bring us nearer to Him. Nothing is too far from His ears or reach. Just as He heard my prayers and answered in such meaningful and specific ways, He does the same for you. Now the same rocking chair I used so many nights ago to rock my daughter as I fed, sang, and talked to her and prayed to God sits in my bedroom instead of a nursery. It is the same rocker I sit in every morning to spend quiet time with God after awakening, the same chair that I use to cuddle under a warm blanket and speak to God before the day begins. This "prayer chair" has reminded me that my Father is faithful to me. Just as He is faithful to my daughter, my other children, my husband, and to you. He still listens and goes before each of us, surprising and surpassing us with His ability to carry us exactly where we need to go. No matter what our special needs and requests may be, if we hold open hands and a humble heart willing to accept what He offers as our best, we discover He provides and protects with exactly what we need. Just as I have spent time in my rocking chair inside my dream home, you may have a special place in your home dedicated to time with the Lord. What do you hear Him speak to you? Is there anything that God is calling for you to release to Him? Are there pieces of your heart that must be mended in ways only God can do? Are you living in a house divided from Him? Are you in a home that needs the peace of God and the hope that can only be found in Christ? Aren't you thankful our Father carries a deep and abiding love for each of us? He hears our pleas and crafts loving plans filled with godly purpose. Sometimes His plans are fulfilled in the desires we lift to Him. Other times, we sell ourselves short with dreams far below what He has purposed for us. Trust in God to guide and guard as you place your doubts, questions, and aspirations in His ever-capable and loving hands. His goodness and grace know no bounds. His gifts are perfectly and personally designed. As thankful as I am for the home we now live in, I treasure the knowledge that despite what might happen on this earth, because I am a follower of Christ, one day I will live in the ultimate dream house for eternity with my Savior. “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am." John 14:1-3

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