Godly Motherhood Podcast Episode 137 - How to Parent Kids to Be IN the World, But Not OF It
Welcome to Godly Motherhood Podcast – Episode 137 – How to Parent Kids to Be IN the World, But Not OF It
Welcome to the Godly Motherhood podcast. If you’re a mom, you can’t parent in your strength. The Good News is that you aren’t supposed to. On this podcast I’ll mentor how to rest and abide in the Father’s arms. Through Him, you’ll be carried - and capable of raising each unique child entrusted to your care as you teach them to chase Christ over culture moment by moment.
This is Episode 137 – How to Parent Kids to Be IN the World, But Not OF It
Before we start, I want to share that my new book deals with the topic we’re discussing on this episode. In my book, “The Good Mom Trap: Break the Lie That Good Parenting Creates Godly Kids” I share Biblical truths, personal stories, and what I’ve learned about raising kids to follow the Way instead of the world - to help you avoid traps. The book releases December 2, 2025. To be among the first to hear updates and hear the latest news and updates, visit https://www.terrihitt.com/book
Now on with this episode. Just last week, Christian influencer, podcaster, and activist Charlie Kirk was murdered. While Heaven rejoices, many in this world grieve and weep. I keep thinking of Charlie’s precious children and wife, and the tremendous loss they face. But the world has also suffered a great loss. While not as intimate a loss as those who personally knew and loved him face, we have lost a man of courage and conviction. It grieves my heart to hear slanderous comments about Charlie and the work he did. I’ve seen countless quotes by him twisted and taken out of context. So, if you’re hearing to lies swarming on social media, go listen to his full recordings. There are videos being passed that have been edited or shortened to cause division, and I’ve never heard Charlie make the horrible remarks people are sharing at this time.
You must make your own decision about this man, whom I’ve only heard use his life to bring people together, not tear them apart. Who based his beliefs off God’s Word, and used his time to bring others to know the words and principles of God - and use them well in daily life. While I didn’t know Charlie personally, I respected his ability to invite anyone to debate, encouraging civil discussion with wisdom – even with those who often spewed hatred. Charlie remained calm, pointing others to God’s truths, Word and commands. Charlie had a crucial ability to think critically. This is a non-negotiable necessity not being taught in schools or even in many homes nowadays, and it is the first step in preparing children to be IN the world, but not OF it.
Every Christian parent should intentionally raise children to carry the ability to think critically – and biblically. We must mentor how strong conviction in God’s truths. We must raise our kids to have deep desire to know God and pursue Him through a relationship with Jesus. To work to make Him known to the world. To know and understand the Word and point others to it. One of the most important qualities Charlie Kirk had was to pursue knowledge and use biblical, critical thinking to ascertain whether that knowledge matched Scripture.
If you’re a Christian mom worried about secular culture, don’t focus on shielding your kids FROM the world. Equip them to shine the light and truth of Christ IN it. But the question moms carry is “how?” How do we raise kids to honor God in a world far from what He commands? The last quality I mentioned Charlie carrying is one of the top priorities parents must carry and teach as they raise kids to stand against culture and for Christ. If you aren’t using biblical, critical thinking yourself - and mentoring to your children how to use it, you’re already behind. Unless you and your children can easily understand and verbalize why they believe what they do, they’re likely to become a victim of indoctrination, be easily swayed by peers, teachers, society, or be swayed to follow any sort of “religion” (in quotation marks) the world offers. It is IMPERATIVE to know WHY we stand - for WHO we stand for.
Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
These words must be taken seriously. When I looked at the instructions in these words from God, I took a good look at how I was parenting. Although I professed to love the Lord, and I called Jesus my Savior, I realized how I fell short of digesting the urgency of God’s commands when I raised my first set of kids. How about you? Are you consistently parenting the way these verses command?
Your love for God, your desire to honor and obey Him must be evident in your actions, reactions, words, and desires. Your fears, your praises. In the way you teach your children of Jesus and how to follow Him. To place Him first.
So many parents believe they’re doing a good job because they go to church each week and they tell their kids to read their Bible. They talk about being a Christian family, but how is that faith being exhibited in the home? In society? At work? At school? Do actions, desires, words, and reactions match how Scripture calls? Is Scripture studied enough to know? Many people think they follow Jesus, but what they believe and the way they live and vote are actually in opposition to what God’s Word says. Many Christians take the Bible to the other extreme and shut off contact with anyone who does anything the Bible calls sin.
Listen to this passage from John 8. “but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and He sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test Him, that they might have some charge to bring against Him. Jesus bent down and wrote with His finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask Him, He stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more He bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
How powerful this verse is! Jesus boldly stayed true to Scripture. He knew each person dealt with personal sins. However, He didn’t choose to stay away. He shared Truth and Life. Yet, He didn’t condone the sins. He was in their midst, yet commanded them to go and sin no more. In modern day context, this could be adultery or homosexuality, as two examples. Society, with hearts not seeking and following Scripture fails to see sin in front of them. However, Jesus would assert that both are sins God hates. He would share God’s truths and commands, yet tell them to go and sin no more. He wouldn’t accept and agree. He would call out the sin, love them, yet not condone what they did. He wouldn’t accept the lifestyle into policy or persuade others it was the way God made them. Or make excuses.
Your kids need to hear you speak the truths of Scripture – and witness you live the commands of God.
Deuteronomy 4:9 also carries clear instructions on how to please and honor our Heavenly Father and raise the children He entrusted to us. This verse says, “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”
Remember God’s Truths and commands as found in Scripture. Cling to them as guidance for your soul and life. For your parenting. Again, putting Him first. How well are you doing that? How well are you mentoring and guiding your children in this command?
How are you exhibiting your identity in Jesus as Savior? Each one of us must secure identity in God through Jesus. We must live in complete assurance of WHOSE we are - and let everything that pours from us flow through His eternal lens. Use the way God has provided for you, strengthened you, carried you. Use everything that’s wrapped up in your relationship with God this far.
Remember how He has provided, where you have faltered, and how God has carried you. Use your trials, your failures, your triumphs in ways that strengthen and mature your relationship (with God and your kids) and the foundation you’re laying for your children and the house of faith they are building. Of course, be age appropriate.
Weave God effortlessly into your days and nights. He is present. Don’t hit your kids over the head with rules and regulations, but with gentle love and grace, with discipleship born from love and understanding of God’s Word, and adherence to His commands. Don’t neglect discipline. Use it to disciple for Him. Continue your growth moment by moment, so they will, too.
Inhale Christ so you exhale Him with ease and clarity.
1 John 4:13 says, “By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.”
Scripture tells us the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. The more you study His Word, the better you live and teach the Word. The more you soak His Word into your being, the way you act and react is transformed, the way you seek the Father’s wisdom in how to parent for Him is refined, and the way you hear His instructions is clarified. He fills you with the strength and stamina you need to parent His children for His ways, and not the world.
Matt. 10:28 says, “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” There is nothing on this earth that is worth giving more attention than God or family. Learn to treat your family the way God desires you to treat them. Being the best friend of your children, giving them too many material goods, or depriving them so you don’t spoil them are ways that we over or under-indulge. As you deepen your knowledge and understanding of God’s Word and practice abiding in His capable arms, as you capture a mindset like Christ, you parent kids who are in the world, but not of it. Kids who seek Him first and are thankful for what they have.
Your kids must live in the world. Teach them to BE and STAY secure and strong in the Word. Parent with godly confidence to instill godly confidence in your kids. This comes from purposely studying God’s character, will, and ways.
Purposely consider and PLAN what you want the end of your life and the life of your children to look like, or you won’t receive godly results. You must intentionally reflect on what God would desire for your children. Seek His discernment, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding on how to parent the children He has entrusted to your care. He created them with a purpose and purposely entrusted them to you at this time.
In order to raise kids who are IN the world, but not OF it, YOU have to be a set-apart woman. First you must understand what the term, set-apart means. The basic definition is “to do something that makes someone, or oneself, noticeable, remarkable, or distinct in comparison to someone or something else.” That means distinctively different or set-apart from this world we live in.
Set-apart also means to be sanctified. In simple form, it means something or someone is sanctified when it’s used for the purpose God intends. So, when you live according to the purpose or design God intended for your life, you’re sanctified. More clearly defined, that means when you’re pursuing and following Jesus - and His ways and will.
The Greek word translated “sanctification” means holiness. This means that when we’re sanctified, we’re made holy. As believers and followers of Jesus, we know that He is the one sanctifying us. God calls us to know Him, to become more like Him, to become holy, as He is holy and He allows us to be transformed by Him and through Him by our relationship with Jesus. Obviously, we never reach the holiness of God, but through the transforming sacrifice and sanctification of Jesus, we can become more Christ-like moment by moment.
Then you are able to make Christ known to your children. To equip your children to be set-apart. To be sanctified.
The deeper you pursue, know, and follow Jesus, the more He is shown to your children. The first Jesus your children see is the Jesus they see within you. Your children will desire whatever is appealing to them. Make a life lived with Jesus appealing. Your relationship with God through a maturing and deepening walk with Jesus matters very much.
Since you desire your children to know and grow in Jesus, you must raise them to be set-apart, to be what God intended for them. This can only be accomplished with intentional parenting reliant on the holy power and direction of Christ within you.
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.”
The New Living Translation version makes understanding the importance of this verse for a set-apart life much easier. The NLT version translates the same verse this way, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
To be a set-apart parent raising a set-apart child, you must purpose to think and live differently. You can’t seek, mimic, or prioritize the behavior, customs, or culture of this world. You must purpose to allow, and invite God to transform you into a new woman, a new parent, moment by moment, day by day. Over and over again with a humble, submissive heart and spirit. You have to be present in the day to day, making hard choices about friends, limits, gaming, television - and the list goes on. For example, one of the top complaints I hear from moms is how their pre-teen and teen girls dress. We must lay a foundation for our girls to desire modest dressing. In fact, if this is an area, you struggle with, I recommend sending me a message at info@terrihitt.com In my Set-Apart Collective Program, we discuss issues just like this one.
Remember, your strength, discernment, and guidance for parenting will be found through the sanctification of Jesus and the Holy Spirit alive within you. His power exists to live a set-apart life and be a set-apart parent. His will within you changes the way you think, what you crave, what you believe, and how you react. Through His life-changing, set-apart power, you are able to raise children who will be set-apart and sanctified for Him. Kids who live a power testimony of His love and grace.
Also, use Scripture to guide your prayer life. Here are 4 verses crafted into Scriptural prayers. Use Bible verses to submit to - and invite the powerful presence of God to reside within you as you prayerfully live and parent.
Galatians 5:16 - Heavenly Father, my great and glorious God, Your Word instructs me to walk by the Spirit, and I won’t gratify the desires of the flesh. How I need Your power. Equip me, Father. Carry me so that you reside strongly within me. Keep me from shifting to the left or the right. Keep me in Your perfect will and strength to shine you in ways that draw my children and spouse to You.
Ephesians 2:10 – Precious Heavenly Father, You say I am your masterpiece. You assure me that I am created anew in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah! Enable me to do the good things You planned for me long ago. May my life influence and instruct my children in all of Your ways, not the world.
Galatians 2:20 – Precious Father, I know that my old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. May all I do bring glory and honor to You and teach my children to desire and follow You.
1 Peter 2:9 – Merciful Heavenly Father, You assure me through Your Word that I am chosen. Carry me, enable me to intentionally and bravely show others Your goodness because You have called me out of the darkness and into Your wonderful light. May my life truly reflect You in all I am and do. May my children do the same. Show me how to make You clearly known to them in ways they cannot resist.
Rest in His power. Parent in His power.
Your walk with Jesus matters.
The way you love Him and present Him to your watching children reflects the way you feel about Him, the way you trust Him. Your set-apart walk affects the way you present Jesus daily. With the power of Christ working within you, your child will begin to shine the light of Christ and live a life set-apart from others in ways that are pleasing to God and your heart.
3 John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
I don’t strive to have what society considers “typical children” or “typical teens.” I would feel I failed God if I heard those words spoken to me. My heart would be shattered.
Don’t settle for what this culture cheapens. Life is meant to be so much better than what this broken world offers or tempts us with. Your child, our children deserve what God purposed them to be, do, and have. Their calling is higher than this unstable and sinful world can give.
Here are five basic steps to help you build a lifestyle that sets your children up to follow the Way, instead of the world.
1. Show Jesus – Your joyful relationship with Jesus, the way you seek and follow Him with obedience and love will attract your child. The level of depth and maturity in your walk with Jesus will guide your life as it influences your child’s. As you read God’s word, share His word with your children through reading the Bible and discussing it together, and make it applicable to life situations, your child begins to assimilate the mind and desires of God. 1 Peter 1:16 says, “For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”
2. Make Time – Make time to be with the Father alone and with your family. Be attuned to your child, each precious and unique child you have been gifted. Be present. Put down your phone. Stop working. Delay chores. Look them in the eyes. Wrap your arms around them often. Love them in their language. Do your children need to be invited into your space or are they always welcome? Do they know it? Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.” Even teens who act like they only want to be with friends cherish a close relationship with parents. It’s never to late to mend and strengthen yours.
3. Tame your Tongue and Tone – Does joy or aggravation shine from you? Does your child see love in your eyes and actions? Are you a constant complainer? Or do your days radiate gratitude? 2 Corinthians 7:1 says, “Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God.”
4. Be Consistent – In character, relationship, parenting, integrity, and pursuit of Jesus. Let them see your loving pursuit of Jesus and the ways He continues to mature you and transform you. Humbly give God the glory. Romans 12:1 says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him.”
5. Stay Involved – Guide, don’t hover. Allow maturity at proper times. Don’t hold on too long, but don’t push too fast. Know friends and set examples for the type of friends to connect with and the type of friend to be. Make godly life and parenting choices and guide your children to put God first when making decisions, not as a chore, but because they love and honor Him and desire to please their Heavenly Father. Set Jesus as the example for both of you to follow. John 17:15-18 says, “I’m not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them holy by Your truth; teach them Your word, which is truth. Just as You sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world.”
In order to raise set-apart children who are in the world, but are not worldly, you must set that as a priority to achieve. Before work, school, or any other obligation or desire you carry. You must be the example of Christ your children see. A set-apart parent grows depth of love for and maturity in the Lord and seeks to pass that legacy and blessing to their children and grandchildren. If your children are already grown, you continue in maturing your Christian walk and relationship with God through Jesus. Breathe Him in and breathe Him out.
Once you’re living a set-apart life, it becomes your family lifestyle. Again, if your child is older or already a teen or adult, remain steadfast in your pursuit of Christ and in living a godly life that reflects Jesus and gives honor and glory to the changes He is making in your life daily. Remain prayerful and consistent. James 5:16b says, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
Christ’s work within you will attract your child to Him. His ongoing transformation of your life will help your children to see their need for a Savior who transforms and mends relationships. Only the sanctifying power of Jesus will transform the desires and life of your child as he or she turns and submits to Him.
With anxiety and depression in kids and teens at an all-time high, this next verse should give assurance. Isaiah 54:13 says, “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
Remember, your conviction and connection to God’s Word will affect your children, young or older, day by day.
You cannot lead your children to the Way unless YOU live the Word.
Equipping your kids to be IN the world, but not OF it begins with YOUR walk with Christ.
May this be your prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, gracious and glorious God, equip me to follow Your example. Enable me to walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us. Extract any hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Help there be no obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving and praise. Don’t let me partner with darkness, as I am now a light for You. May I live as a child of light in goodness, righteousness and truth, and what pleases You. May I be very careful how I live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Take away foolishness that takes me from Your good and perfect will. Help me be filled with Your Spirit, always giving You thanks for everything. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
I have a free resource you’ll find helpful as you navigate your daily routine as a mom. If you’re ready to become the godly mother God entrusts you to be for Him and His children, you’ll love my free “Good to Godly: A 31-Day Scripture and Prayer Guide for Moms.” Visit terrihitt.com to receive this resource.
Time is short. Leave a legacy that lasts into eternity. Unless you’re purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will sway your children away from Christ. Focus on eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ.