Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast - Episode 076 - Do You Make it Difficult for God to Give You His Best?
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 076 – Do You Make it Difficult for God to Give You His Best?
When I was young I kept several journals. Sometimes they were fancy, some were just a spiral notebook, but from the earliest recollections of my childhood, I always had something to write in. Whether it was fiction, poetry, or simply my thoughts, placing words on paper cleared my mind and enabled me to survive challenging times. Although my parents loved me and did the best they knew how to do, our home life was sometimes difficult. Placing my deepest thoughts on paper and allowing creativity to flow allowed me a type of escape and release I wasn’t able to find elsewhere. God obviously created me with a love for words and books.
After I got married at 17, my husband became my biggest supporter. His encouragement to follow my dreams was consistent. I remember the Christmas he presented me with my first laptop. The joy in his eyes when I opened that gift still touches me so deeply it brings tears. During my twenties and thirties I wrote several novels, and would have continued to polish, perfect, and submit each one to agents and editors. What stopped me? I knew in my spirit that God was telling me it wasn’t His plan. In my late thirties, God made it clear to me that this was not the path He wanted me to walk. I was shocked. Writing felt like the air I breathed. The thought of stopping felt like a death in a deep place of my soul. But I couldn’t ignore that I knew I was hearing Him clearly. To continue to pursue a writing career would be direct disobedience to God.
So what did I do? I packed away every manuscript. Even the one I was enjoying writing more than any of the others. It was a Christian fiction novel that was growing my faith as I wrote it, but I couldn’t deny that obedience to what God was calling would deepen my faith even more than putting words on paper. As God directed me to stop writing altogether, I realized He was calling me to sacrifice what I had unknowingly placed higher than Him. I never really felt like I loved writing more than Him, but in hindsight, I can see that the way writing filled my spirit could be considered a form of idolization.
My new life without writing began to shape me in higher ways for Him as I allowed God to fill me and give me release. Instead of stealing the air I breathed when I quit writing, I began to inhale and exhale God with greater depth of faith, trust, and obedience.
Many years later, God whispered to me that it was good for me to write again. At first, I resisted, knowing that He had previously directed me not to write. But that still, small voice was persistent. The difference was that now God filled me with different writing desires. I no longer yearned to publish fictional stories, whether Christian or mainstream. My writing became about the ways God had carried me through loss, through trials, and into obedience. My stories were crafted from a heart full of love and awe for Jesus and the way He had changed my life and family. My stories were gifts of praise and hope for others to build a foundation of truth and salvation through Christ. My writing was all for Him.
Just last week, I thought about my writing journey. I had been reminded of how God transforms each of us who trust in Jesus. How? By watching the actions of our two year old Golden Retriever, Beau. On this particular day, I was washing Beau's “Chewys,” which are a rubberized toy with a carved out center to hold food of whatever sort you want to fill it with. Then the “Chewy” is placed in the freezer so the item freezes and your dog gets to enjoy licking the iced treat. Since our dog tends to get bored through the day and sometimes begins licking himself out of that boredom, we purchased the “Chewys” with the hope that they would be a distraction to lessen the habit.
As I was preparing to put treats in Beau’s “Chewys” and freeze them for him to enjoy later, he watched me, highly concerned because I had his toys. My dog circled the kitchen, panted, and tried to see what I was doing. He peered over the countertop with upleveled anxiety as watched me place a few pieces of his food in the center of the toy. He whined and paced again, then returned to sit next to me with concern stretched across his usually joyful golden expression. Do you ever get anxious or worried when you can’t get something? When something you want badly is just out of your reach? Beau’s behavior made me think about what we must look like to God sometimes. How must our Heavenly Father feel when He knows He’s preparing a beautiful tailor-made gift for us, but we refuse to wait in peace and trust. Instead we try to make what we want happen and of course, always in the timing we desire.
Have you ever wondered how much you might miss out on just because you’re so concerned with getting something you think is best? Have you ever desired something so deeply because of the way it made you feel? Can you think of a time that happened to you? Mine would be my writing. I never asked God whether I was supposed to write. I just knew the desire was in me. How could it be wrong if the desire seemed to be part of the very core of me?
Giving up writing was painful. If I hadn’t clearly heard God tell me to stop, I certainly wouldn’t have. Now, on the other side of that process, God lovingly allowed me to write again, but changed my reasons for doing it. He changed my heart and thought process. I see how false my sense of peace was years ago when I strived to write those novels that would propel me into a multi-city book tour. When I wrote simply because I loved creating characters and plots, I didn’t experience the same peace-filled joy that I have now when writing for God. What I do now isn’t to impress or gain accolades, but simply to live in obedience and to show what the Lord has done for me, what He continues to do, and what He is doing for others. He’s given me a calling to help younger mothers raise children to chase Christ over culture and to help mothers parent to prepare, not repair. He’s given me a yearning now to let mothers know to stop being a good parent, and become a godly mother. So much meaning and joy has blossomed from writing for Him. Not only for me, but for my family.
When we study the Bible we see many stories of humans who made mistakes, like you and me. We may not think so at first glance, but at the core, the people we read about in the Bible are just like us. As you read their stories, you notice that there were many times God had better plans for them than they had for themselves. Or He desired to give them better than they could conceive. Because we all fail, because we are so far from God and His sovereignty, we are prone to easily sway from God’s best or to expect less than He intends to give.
Think for a moment about God’s provisions for the Israelites when He led them out of captivity. Remember the way they responded with sin and rebellion, fear and complaints? They missed seeing the beautiful, promised land God had for them. They forgot His promises of a hope and a future. We also have Adam and Eve, the very first in a long line of sinners who missed what God created for them. Think of Esau losing his blessing to Jacob. Esau didn’t value God’s Word and promise like his brother, and allowed Jacob to steal it from him. Each person thought they knew more than God or had a better idea of what would be best for them. Humans following self instead of a loving, giving Father.
Genesis 25:29-34 says, “Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom). Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?” But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.”
There are several ways we can lose the blessings God has in store. Let’s look at some of the ways you can miss out on God’s best for you, and in turn, your family.
1. Feelings/Emotions – What we feel and how those feelings affect us. Although people often use the terms feelings and emotions interchangeably, they have distinct, but similar meanings. Emotions involve our feelings, but stem from an event or circumstance that evoke a feeling, such as fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, anger, or disgust. Feelings are our reactions to those emotions and how we interpret them. For example, if you are shopping and you get mugged, that situation causes emotions such as fear or anger. You may feel like it is unsafe to shop in that store again. You may feel like there are no nice people anymore because bystanders didn’t react the way you needed at the time. Sometimes life circumstances and/or situations evoke emotions that cause feelings that bring reactions and actions that pull us away from trusting in God. Or those reactions bring actions that aren’t honoring to God and cause problems or heartache.
2. Past Experiences – Past experiences can linger in our heart and mind. It is truly only through the life-changing power of relationship with Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit living within that we are able to live in freedom. If we don’t submit to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and instead live by reacting to emotions and feelings, we cheat ourselves and our family out of blessings God desires to bring to us.
3. Pride/Stubbornness – Sometimes we know we shouldn’t react with the actions and/or words we do, but because of pride and stubbornness we do what we want regardless of consequences. Our Holy God doesn’t bless rebellion.
4. Jealousy/Greed – When we look at how God has blessed another or we believe that we have less than others, we aren’t living with the thankful spirit God desires we carry. Our Heavenly Father carries no partiality, but He does honor humility, faith, trust, and obedience. He sees into our heart at the very core of what we think, feel, believe, and desire. God won’t bless a heart set against Him or one that lives without gratitude.
5. Disobedience/Sin – When we live in ways that go against God, His desires for us, and His teachings, we walk in disobedience. God wants the best for His people, but He is sovereign and holy. He will not bless sin or disobedience.
James 4:1-6 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
Your walk with God is such a blessing when you follow Him in the ways He deserves and calls. Don’t set yourself up to miss out on the blessings He wants to pour on you. Don’t let your children miss the blessings He desires they receive. Your walk influences the walk of your children. The God you show them, and the way you respond to Him, will be engraved in their mind and heart. Don’t let them be led astray by your circumstances, emotions, feelings, past experiences, ego, stubbornness, jealousy, disobedience, or sin. Know and show the God of the Universe, the One who made a way for you to know and show Him. Help your children see and claim Jesus as their Savior. Allow them to be blessed in the mighty ways God has for them. Your life will be immensely blessed when they are blessed by Him.
Psalm 46:10 says, “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Dear Heavenly Father, there is truly none like You. The closer we walk with You the more joy, peace, and love we carry. Thank you for making a way straight to You through Jesus. Your Word tells us that we are Your handiwork, that we are created in Christ Jesus to do good works which You have already prepared for us in advance. Father, thank you for loving us so much that You crafted us with purposes that come from You and are designed to honor and please You. Help us live in ways that honor and fill You with delight. Help us to make You known to the children You have entrusted to us. Allow them to find You and be blessed by all You have for them. May they let Jesus shine from them and bring You honor. Thank you for loving us so much and for having a heart that only wants the best for us. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. I believe godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. That’s why I’ve created the Set-Apart Collective.
Have you decided peers and culture won’t be the main influence over your child? Would you like to parent to prepare your child for eternity with Christ, not to repair a relationship? In the Set-Apart Collective, you will deepen your walk with Christ, learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family. The Set-Apart Collective wait list is open now. The first group of women is currently growing together. The second group is about to start. Please send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ.
If you connected in some way with this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a minute or so and makes a big difference in people finding the podcast. You and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so would you please choose a friend to recommend the show to? Let them know that the podcast is found at terrihitt.com, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Imagine the change we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.
Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.