Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 080 – The Power of Using Scripture in Parenting: A Guide for Christian Parents

Oh my goodness! I still clearly remember that day I walked out of the local mall with my one year old screaming at the top of her lungs. I forced myself to casually push the stroller instead of runningout like I wanted to. The shrillness and volume of her screams combined with the fact that we’re different races, made me concerned someone might think I was kidnapping her. I expected someone to confront me as I made my way out of the mall, and I wondered how I would convince them I was the mother and my girl was usually very happy. I hoped I had pictures of us together in my purse, as at that time I didn’t own a cell phone that held photos.

That afternoon we’d been at the mall play area for quite a while. It was past my daughter’s naptime, but she had such fun playing with other children that I let her stray off schedule. When I told her it was time to go and lifted her into the stroller, she did the one thing I hadn’t yet experienced when raising my first two. She began screaming and stiffening her body so I couldn’t easily get her into the stroller. Once I got her in, I thought she’d calm down when I began pushing her away. Instead, the movement made the screaming worse. She didn’t hear me when I tried to soothe and talk to her. Her cries were now a matter of will and exhaustion. It was like ripping a band-aid off. I needed to get out of that mall quickly. Escape was foremost on my mind.

As I drove home, her screams continued. I tried talking to her, singing to her, playing music. Nothing I did stopped her cries. I had already tried to soothe her, so I kept driving. About the time we pulled into the driveway, she fell asleep. After a long nap, she awakened to her usual cheery self.

I have never looked at mothers of disobedient children in the same way. There’s now a camaraderie. I know that when I see when her child disobey or cause a scene in public I’m just witnessing a portion of the story. I don’t know the child’s background, what has happened in the past, nothing. I just see that there’s another mother who just wishes her child would obey. Are you wondering why I’m sharing this story?

The world teaches you to raise children who are well-behaved, good citizens.

Our Heavenly Father calls you to parent with a higher objective.

God calls you to raise children who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

He calls you to raise godly kids, not good kids.

It’s true. Parents want kids who obey. No one likes to be the embarrassed mom everyone is staring at because her children are acting up in public.  Somehow, society expects children to be perfect, although we know they’re not. Neither are adults, and we know we were never perfect kids. Of course, children must be lovingly trained in the way they should go, but just as adults still make mistakes or bad decisions, our children are learning and growing, and they will, too.

Instead of raising children with the goal of teaching them to perfectly obey us, we must parent with the purpose of raising children who obey the Lord. When your children love and trust Jesus, you will receive a beautiful by-product as they love and obey You, as well. First, however, you must be intentional in raising children to obey God and honor Him.

Children need parents who understand they are raising imperfect humans sent from God to be raised for His glory.

That means you must remember that the discipline you give is to be crafted with the purpose of molding godly character traits and drawing your children to Christ.

Remember, the behavior your children exhibit exposes the condition of their heart.

So, how do you cultivate the soil of your child’s heart to be ready for the seeds you will sow for Christ? How do you instill behavior that honors God and you? The answer is simple, but takes dedication and consistency. It’s the way you live for Christ and show Him through your words, desires, actions, and reactions. The way you prioritize Jesus and live a lifestyle of humble love and service to Him, instead of just saying you follow Christ. It’s several purposed steps that build a life that honors Jesus.

Using godly discipleshipand the Bible as your parenting guide as you build and mature a connection with Christ and your child allows you to address behaviors your children express. As you observe their tendencies, actions, words, and desires, you see a glimpse into the condition of their heart. Use this insight to keep you focused on forming behavior and characteristics that are pleasing to God. Guide your children into His arms as you teach them to also recognize ungodly character traits and grow a relationship with Christ to transform behavior.

Would you like to know the most powerful tool to influence your child’s behavior? Scripture.

God’s powerful, holy Word cultivates godly character. In yourself and your child.

I’ll share three powerful truths to remember as you parent with the purpose of cultivating Christlike character traits in your children.

1. Display the qualities you want your child to possess.

2. Don’t ignore character and behaviors that need to be addressed and corrected.

3. Train your child in God’s truths. This allows you to instill characteristics needed to build a godly foundation for future behaviors and decisions.

Scripture has power to guide you and transform each of these areas in your life and the lives of your children.

While parenting two sets of children over two generations, God has brought my attention to the importance of using Scripture to influence the behavior of my children. The most memorable and impactful ways I have found are:

1. Bible – Read and know God’s Word so you have a strong foundation to build the godly groundwork for your children to build a house of faith and obedience. Self-help books, parenting guides, advice from others, and punishment are weak in comparison to the wisdom God offers in His holy Word. The Bible addresses every concern a parent carries. Studying God’s Word prepares you, your spouse, and your family for a lifestyle of devotion to Him. As your character is transformed, you are better equipped to disciple the behavior of your children.

2. Song – Even if you’re not a singer, singing God’s Word is a memorable way to teach your children Biblical truths from a young age. The power of Scripture and music combined will trigger another method of memorization in the minds of your children. As they get older, music with Scripturally based-lyrics bring truths they will sing and remember.

3. Prayers – Praying Scripture with and for your children is a powerful blessing. Teaching your children to pray Scripture helps them recognize another way to remember and use God’s Word in ways that honor Him and uses His power in ways they will see and remember.

4. Lifestyle – The way you live, the music you listen to, what you read, what you desire, etc., should all reflect what you say you believe about God. Your words, actions, and reactions should mirror the ways God would call you to act. As you use Scripture to form your personal character and beliefs, your child will see God at work within you and know that you live, not just preach a lifestyle devoted to Jesus.

5. Discussions – Don’t neglect using life moments as they arise. Each day brings moments you can capture and utilize for planting godly seeds and nurturing what you have sown. Keep your ears, eyes, and heart open to opportunities. Let your discussions be personal ways to connect with your child or children and allow God to mold you as He works through them. Don’t make the moments preaching sessions, but a sharing of God in natural ways that will shape their heart and relationship with you and their Heavenly Father.

I’ve compiled several Scripture verses and passages to show you the power of using God’s Word in your habits, training, and prayers so you can mold His character and beliefs in your children.

If you want your children to have wisdom that comes from God, remember Proverbs 3:7 which says, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” As you train and correct your children, remember you are discipling them. Teach them that human wisdom falls short of God’s wisdom. As they learn God’s truths and remember that His ways are higher than ours and that wisdom as this world teaches it is opposite of God’s, they will learn to detect what is truly wise with your direction.

If you want your children to love like Jesus, remember Deuteronomy 6:5 which says, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Teach them to love God first, then others in the ways He loves.

If you want your children to live with gratitude that is pleasing to God, remember Psalm 118:24 which says, “This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Teach them that each moment, each day is a blessing from God. No matter the circumstances, they are to trust and keep faith that God is using their daily happenings for His purposes and for their good if they love Him and are called according to His purpose.

If you want your children to live with integrity, remember Proverbs 10:9 which says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” Teach them that God is always present. Humans may not know the things others do in secret, but God does. He knows their thoughts, sees their actions, and loves them. Yet, in all His holiness, God doesn’t want them to stay the way they are. He has a better way for them to live. Then live out integrity in ways they see. Talk about decisions you have made to live with integrity pleasing to God, not to make yourself look good, but to show them how God is your guiding source of light and life. Point out times they have made godly choices. Give them scenarios and help them find answers or solutions that are pleasing to God.

If your want your children to live with trust in God, remember 1 Peter 5:7which says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Teach them how God has carried you, your spouse, and the family. Let them know He cares about every detail. He is a personal and intimate God who wants to take care of their every need.

If you want your children to live a life of obedience, remember Ephesians 6:1-3 which says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” As you train them to love and obey God, they will also love and obey You.

As you can see, it is easy to choose Scripture to form character and behavior. As you know and trust God’s Word, you are able to use it as you disciple your child in life and choices. Teach them about these characteristics before situations arise so that godly character is beginning to form inside them before they need to use them. As I share the following verses, remember to look for opportunities to use the verse or teaching behind it in daily life. Communication with God and your children is vital to forming lives pleasing to God.

If you want your children to live a life of surrender to God, remember Philippians 4:13 which says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

If you want your children to live a life of generosity, remember Luke 6:31which says, “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.”

If you want your children to live a life of abundant love, remember Romans 12:10 which says, “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”

If you want your children to live a life of forgiveness, knowing they are forgiven and forgiving others, remember Ephesians 4:32 which says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

If you want your children to live a life of contentedness, remember Philippians 4:11 which says, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

Here are more Scriptures and the characteristics they can help you to disciple for your children. Think of characteristics you want your children to carry or qualities you observe they need help with.

Forbearance - Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Mindset - Ephesians 4:23 says, “Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.”

Kindness - Proverbs 11:17 says, “Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.”

Faithfulness - Proverbs 20:6 says, “Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, But who can find a faithful man?”

Humility - Mark 10:44 says, “And whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”

Godliness - Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Pure Faith - Matthew 15:8 says, “These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.”

Teachable - Hebrews 12:5-6 says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.”

Endurance - Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

John 15:5-7 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in Me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” As you pray for a life that beautifully mentors Jesus to your children and spouse, and humbly ask God for His mercy and guidance to flow from You as you disciple and raise your children for Him, He will honor your prayers in extraordinary ways that will last for eternity.

Remember, the world tells us to raise good kids who obey. God calls for you to raise godly children who obey Him. Your walk matters. Relationship with Jesus and a maturing walk with Him makes a difference. Surrender to the Lord so you will mentor Christ to the children He entrusted to you.

Use opportunities to discuss the qualities you desire them to carry, such as fruits of the spirit. Use books, movies, school assignments, life situations, sporting events, and more to capture moments you can impress God’s desires for them and the way to develop these life skills. Show them in the way you use the characteristics. Bring attention to times you have to be long-suffering or forgiving. Read Bible stories highlighting characteristics your child exhibits or needs work in. There are many creative ways to pray for, show, and teach your child how to desire and develop godly qualities that will last for a lifetime.

You can bet that in the days after our loud mall exit, we began reading specific verses and stories about listening and obeying parents. We prayed together about honoring mother and father. Even before she grasped the full understanding of what I was teaching, she was receiving a message that rooted in her heart. I also remembered not to exasperate my child and be more aware of not exciting and tiring her beyond what she could endure for her age. As you work with your children under God’s sovereign guidance, expect beautiful and godly results for each of you.

Dear Heavenly Father, You entrusted Your children to us for this time. You know we are unable to raise children for You without Your strength and direction. Thank you for Your holy Word, which is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. Only Your wisdom and love can guide Your children to Your arms. Please lend it to us. We need You so much and humbly bow before You in gratitude and awe. Thank you for depositing the Holy Spirit inside us to lead and love, guide and guard us and our children. Only through You can we become new each moment and show our children the characteristics they need to live a life called by You. Help us to clearly identify the behaviors and traits we must nurture for You and show us the way to mentor You in loving, respectful, and honoring ways. Thank you for entrusting us with sacred responsibility. Help us parent in ways that honor and bless You. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

Supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. Godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. That’s why I’ve created the Set-Apart Collective.

Have you decided peers and culture won’t be the main influence over your child? Would you like to parent to prepare your child for eternity with Christ, not to repair a relationship? In the Set-Apart Collective, you will deepen your walk with Christ, learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family. The Set-Apart Collective is open now. Please send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information or look online at terrihitt.com/setapart. We can also set up a 15 minute call to chat about details. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ.

If you connected in some way with this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a minute or so and makes a big difference in people finding the podcast. You and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so would you please choose a friend to recommend the show to? Let them know that the podcast is found at terrihitt.com, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Imagine the change we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.

Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.