Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 061 - Why I Need to be Careful About How I Shape My Child's Faith
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 061 – Why I Need to be Careful About How I Shape My Child’s Faith
“Stop that or God’s going to get you!” Have you ever heard a mom reprimanding her child by using God as a threat? Or maybe you’ve accidentally been that mom. I’m going to share a story that was relayed to me recently. The person most likely shared it because they know this topic is important to me. A woman (no one I know), recently brought her child to a business meeting. I was told that the child was a toddler, and oh, how I adore that age! Toddlers learn at such a rapid pace. Everything is new, fresh, and enticing. Their minds absorb everything. I can’t remember exactly what this child did, but when the mother reprimanded him, she used God as a threat. It's not the first time I’ve heard a mother threaten their child to stop an activity or action. However, when I hear of God being used as “the bad guy,” it sets off alarms in my heart and mind.
How would you feel if the image of God being shaped in your mind was one of an evil Lord waiting for you to make a mistake so He can “get” you?
When God chose you and me to parent the children entrusted to us, He matched mother and child with a perfect purpose. Whether your child is still very young, or fully grown, you carry a responsibility to represent Christ in the most accurate and godliest way. No matter the age of your child, no matter how close or how far they are from you (in distance or spirit), your child is still affected by your relationship with Christ.
Hearing about this mother using God to threaten her child into behaving makes me so sad! I wish I had been there. I would have been praying for God to give me the heart and words to reach her, to teach her, and to redirect her training. Modeling a life devoted to Christ takes real work. We aren’t transformed in an instant! Becoming more like Christ is a moment by moment release of self and a transformation of fleshly spirit.
While God doesn’t expect you or me to be perfect, our main purpose is to know Christ more clearly and model godly relationship with Him to our children. Mentoring a child to Jesus doesn’t include using scare tactics to make your child obey. Doing so certainly teaches the wrong image of God and will set your child on a path that could very likely lead to rejection of Christ. At the very least, you are cheating your child out of a beautiful relationship with God that will cover their every need.
Every step of parenting should be leading your child to an eternity with Christ.
When you decide to raise children as a believer, you commit to raising them for eternal purposes. That means learning and teaching the correct image of God. It means adhering to a set-apart lifestyle that continually seeks Him, depends on Him, and honors Him with reverent fear. No mother will ever be perfect, but each of us are perfectly called when we accept the position and privilege of raising His children.
You will either raise children for Christor raise children of the culture.
When God is used as a threat, our Heavenly Father seems like an invisible predator waiting to pounce and destroy. Using this method of parenting will impact the life of your child for eternity. Parenting with God as the enemy can cause a stumbling block between you and your child, but most importantly, between your child and God. Of course, it can be said that any style of parenting affects your children for eternity, however, wouldn’t you rather influence your child to Christ, rather than away?
What’s the best way a mother can ensure that she never uses God to blackmail or influence her child in a negative way? By exploring her personal relationship with God through Christ. When a mother begins or mends her parenting journey with a strong or growing, prayerful bond with Jesus, her heart and mind will move in accordance with His desires.
If a mother was raised with an incorrect perception of God, a fear of God, or was parented with threats, she is likely to parent her children in the same manner. Yet, if a mother wants an ongoing walk with Christ to be the guiding force of her life and the lifeblood of her parenting, she must break free of the binds that hinder relationship and trust with her Heavenly Father. She must freely rely on Jesus to build a new relationship that will influence her and her children for Him for a lifetime.
1 John 3:1a says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”
A child should never be taught that God is waiting to pour wrath on every move. They shouldn’t be taught to believe that God is continually angry or disappointed in them. He isn’t waiting for your child to stumble, and they should never believe that God is an evil dictator waiting to exact revenge.
Psalm 86:15 says, “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”
It’s one thing to teach a child to desire, know, love, honor, respect, and please God. It’s an entirely different style of parenting to teach a child to expect that God is watching everything they do so He can punish their every move. Most mothers would never set out to parent for negative outcomes that tear their child from God, but this example from the mother with her child at the meeting should remind us to be careful about the words that come out of our mouth and the attitude with which we parent.
Matthew 12:34 says, “You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
How this verse reminds us to constantly seek the Lord. We must be in the Word and connected through prayer in order to cultivate a strong relationship with Him, our spouse, and our children.
Just as some parents may accidentally cause their children to be fearful of God, a child may also learn to perceive God as critical and controlling, based on parenting. When a mother or father doesn’t seem to listen, or actually “hear” their child, or if they come across as always critical or strongly opinionated, yet talk about following God, a child perceives His Heavenly Father to be the same way, possibly causing him or her to get as far away from God as possible. The child may not even consciously realize what they are doing. When a child feels that a parent has difficulty seeing their point of view or understanding their feelings, or cannot allow the child to be the unique person God created them to be and instead pushes the parent’s desires on them, God can become the enemy or a mere fable. Despite what we say, our children watch what we do and how we speak and react to them and others. But there is hope for the mistakes all parents make.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
God is our ever present help. He waits for us to call upon Him. He cherishes you and your children. He wants them to be raised in godly, loving ways for Him.
Your children must be taught about Jesus, no matter the age they are. Of course, the methods to teaching relationship with God through Christ vary depending on the age of your children, but the objective of relationship with Jesus remains the same. Your child must see, desire, and hopefully, come to trust and accept the love and mercy of God. When a mother parents with this objective, she lays a beautiful groundwork for a lasting relationship.
Instead of shaming a child, which pulls them away from God and pushes them away from you, children (whether grown, little, or somewhere in between) should be drawn to His holy nature as we mentor a life that is pleasing to Him. You can’t guarantee that your child will accept Christ as their personal Savior, but you can be assured that you are doing everything in your power to establish a growing walk with Christ and mentoring a life of love and obedience to Him. When you turn your child toward the Light, the Source of Power will know when and how to light the life of your child. We lead our children to Jesus, and God softens the heart.
Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Dear Heavenly Father, Your mercies are indeed new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. Thank you for first loving us and showing the Way to You. Thank you for Your Son, the Light and Hope in our lives. Help each mother listening to this podcast lead their children to Your feet. Help them carry Your heart, mind, and desires. Help us to honor, please, and obey You in ways that attract our children to Christ. Thank You for loving the world so much that You gave Your one and only Son so that we and our family may have eternal life. Help us not to act in ways that turn our children from You, but in ways that carry them straight to Your arms. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
Supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. I believe godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. That’s why I’ve created the Set-Apart Collective. Would you like to walk with other like-minded mothers to deepen your walk with Christ, learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan? I want to share special news with my podcast listeners. The Set-Apart Collective wait list is open now. Send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information and a special code to receive a discount if you find you’d like to join the collective. It’s time for mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ.
If you connected in some way with this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? The best reviews are by word of mouth, so if you would also choose a friend to recommend the show to, imagine the change we could see in the way mothers parent for Christ.
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Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.