Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 089 - Addressing the Top Fears of Christian Mothers with Godly Faith and Wisdom
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 089 – Addressing the Top Fears of Christian Mothers with Godly Faith and Wisdom
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast deepens your walk with Jesus and your children, equipping you to become a set-apart woman and mother.
Motherhood can bring out the best and worst in you. Would you agree?
Many emotions push to the surface when a woman becomes a mother. Fear can be one that rises above others to the front of a woman’s mind once she’s responsible for the life of her beautiful, helpless child. So many pressures come with being a wife and mother – or even more, as a single mom.
Psalm 94:19 says, “When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul.”
Praise God for this verse! It is a reminder that His consolations cheer our soul. There are times in life when every person needs The Father, our loving, sovereign God, to reach within our mind and lift fears or anxieties. Most believers understand that fear doesn't come from God, but there are times when fear pops up quickly and unexpectedly. When an accident occurs, a job loss hits, or a death occurs, fear can quickly consume thoughts, if you let them. God desires a different way of life for you than living with fear. He calls you to look to Him for release and guidance. He wants to guard you as a parent, providing a perfect peace that passes understanding.
Where are you in this season of life? Whether you have no fears or you are battling many, know that where you are - will not be where you stay. Of course, you may be walking a beautiful and dependent relationship with Christ. You may have surrendered fear or anxieties and live in perfect peace. However, you are human. You live in an imperfect world. Never forget the guard that surrounds you is your strength. You alone are not capable of living in perfect peace. You must keep your eyes, mind, and heart fixed on God.
1 Peter 5:5b-11 says, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
Women face many pressures in today’s society that cause fear, anxiety, or stress. Working moms often face little time for self-interests or exercise. Perhaps you desire to get to church or to volunteer, but can’t find a way to shift your schedule to do so. Or it may be challenging to get time alone with your husband. At times you may feel like you can’t manage time to do what you want to at all. It seems the weekend is over before it even starts. Will the busy work week always manage your life?
Time at home is short. Often husbands don’t help around the house. Frustration can build and turn into anxiety that often becomes anger. As much as a mom loves her man and children, it can be difficult to feel like there’s enough time to spend with him or the kids. Quality over quantity loses its charm when you know a few minutes at night between greeting them after work, fixing and eating dinner, cleaning the kitchen, homework, and getting ready for bed simply isn’t enough. Real connection seems to be a fleeting fantasy.
Between managing technology and keeping kids safe online and in the “real world,” navigating phones, gaming, and social media rules with kids, finding time to communicate with pre-teens and teens when you’re not ready to head to bed, understanding what your kids are exposed to by peers, helping your children navigate teasing and bullying, helping your children learn to be kind and not go with the kids who bully, and how to maintain a sense of worthiness, esteem, and identity in your children in a shifting world, can be exhausting at the very least. Then to top things off, sometimes a mom feels bullied by other women, mom-shamed, or betrayed by people she thought were her friends.
Stay-at home and work-from home moms face many of the same worries and distractions in their days. Time may be shifted and activities different, but all Christian moms face similar concerns about raising safe and godly children.
Without a purposed plan for parenting that provides a mother with strength that comes from Christ, life can be difficult, lonely, and fearful. Unless a woman seeks God first, builds a strong identity in Christ, and intentionally becomes a woman set-apart for Him, she cannot raise godly children who pursue the Father. She is without the strength, wisdom, insight, and understanding she needs to navigate the concerns she carries in this 21st century.
Did you know that when fear, anxiety, or stress flows through you, it means you have taken your mind and eyes off of God? Instead, you have unknowingly centered them on self or surroundings instead of Savior. Every time I have felt fear even begin to touch me I stop and focus on Jesus (and in my mind I actually picture blinders on my face that force my vision upwards on God). As I rest in His presence and pray to Him about the situation I am fearing, He takes the burden and calms any fears. It is said that God leaves the message “Do not fear” 365 times in the Bible. I'm not sure whether that is an accurate count, but I trust that the Lord gives us the command for daily use because He knows our thoughts can easily be distracted. He knows how easily we move from His sovereign holiness and perfect provision and protection.
Do you want to feel the perfect peace that can only come from God despite what you are facing in life?
I’ll share seven steps you can use to help conquer fears with godly faith and wisdom:
1. Pause People Pleasing – Sometimes fear comes from the expectations othersplace on you. You have the power to stop them from placing demands on you. Remember, the only one you need to focus on pleasing is God. He will direct your steps and light your path with His will, purpose, and perfect plan. He desires good, not evil in your life and home. He will never lead you astray as you put your hope and trust in Him. Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Ask God to erase expectations of others that are not in His plan. Pray for Him to show you ways to take yourself out of the demands of others and strive to please Him.
2. Break Rules – Sometimes fear forms when you attempt to follow every rule laid out for you – whether it be self-imposed or by a husband or employer. Praise God! He freed you from following the old rules through Jesus. Don’t be entrapped by new ones. As long as you mature your walk with Him and follow His desires for you, He will not lead you astray. Often, women are harder on themselves than anyone else could be. Prayerfully check to see if there are rules you’ve imposed on yourself that need to be lifted or adjusted. Psalm 118:6 says, “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Maybe you’ve been told you have to cook every meal in your home. Maybe you think you can’t take time to play with the kids or enjoy a walk with your husband. Do you think your home has to be perfectly clean? Break those rules and enjoy life. You only get one. Your kid will grow up before you know it. Make the memories they take with them be the ones full of life and love with you.
3. Be Unique – Often fear can come from trying to be someone other than you were created to be. Are you trying to please everyone but God? Are you attempting to follow every identity you think must be imposed on you because you’re a wife and mother? Instead, look at your life and prayerfully seek where you may not be being “you.” Maybe you’re making life harder by trying to be what others expect instead of who you can excel at being – yourself. Job 11:18-19a says, “You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid.” Sometimes dreams have to wait until your kids are a little older, or perhaps God will make a way for that desire you have to happen now. Lean into your relationship with Him and seek what He calls for you. His Word never lies and it tells us that what He has planned for you is greater than anything you can imagine on your own.
4. Eliminate Excuses – Often fear arises when you feel you can’t handle what is expected of you. Maybe you think you’re not talented enough, smart enough, brave enough, experienced enough, etc. Or maybe you aren’t getting enough support from your spouse, parents, friends, or employer and you may be correct. If after sharing your feelings, things aren’t changing in ways that benefit your needs and the needs of your family, know that there truly is one who cares. God. Have you cried out to Him? Are you placing trust in His capable hands? Are you praying Scriptural prayers about your situation? Is your attitude godly with those who are disappointing you? Forget blame and forge ahead with faith that no matter what happens, you will get through in the Father’s strength. John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” Have a heart to heart with your husband and let him know your feelings. Pray together and seek how he can begin to help. If he refuses, seek a good friend or family member who can step in when needed to alleviate some of your burdens. Be creative and ask God what changes He would desire you to make.
5. Don’t Dawdle – Do you find yourself frozen with fear or anxiety? Get help. Sometimes women hide that they need help because they don’t want to be seen as weak, incompetent, or a failure. Typically, women are hardest on themselves. Confide in those you trust and allow them to help. First, confide in God and seek His direction. Ask Him to help you change the areas and mindset you need to - and see yourself and your situation as He does. Ask for His direction in areas of parenting that may be worrisome. He know your children, your home, your limitations, and the crazy culture we live in. He knows the way. Listen for His voice and take obedient action. Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” God knows the situations you face. Whether it be parenting questions, marital issues, or job/home concerns, He has the answers you seek. God created you and your family as unique individuals. Your children are not the same as each other or anyone else’s children. Make the time to learn what makes them tick. Discover how God made them. Don’t be afraid to tell them no when needed. They need you to make decisions that will guide them in a godly upbringing. Teach them through relationship with Christ, it is good to be different - to be set-apart. In fact, God requires it.
6. Pursue Positivity – As a mom, you always have little ears, eyes, and hearts following and watching you. Your reactions and habits form theirs. Obviously, you can’t be perfect, but through Christ working within you, He will give you the ability to be transformed moment by moment. Submit to Him. Call on His mighty power to craft a new attitude and mindset within you that recognizes fear or anxiety the moment it rears its ugly head in your life. Psalm 115:11says, “You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD! He is their help and their shield.” Protect and preserve the faith of your children as they see the way you lift fears, hurts, anxiety, and the like to their Heavenly Father. Help them trust in Him and know that He is real. Help them believe His power and call on it as they mature.
7. Form Flourishing Faith - Above all, no matter what you feel, remember that you need to process those feelings, not stuff them down or hide them. Present them to God and humbly submit to what and where He leads. You may find that you are already in alignment with God and He will carry you through. Or you may see that you are far from His desires for you and need His guidance and growth to get you where you need to go. Your feelings and emotions are powerful, but sometimes they can be powerfully incorrect. Let God help you see where you are and where you need to go. Let Him carry you there as you form a faith that flourishes. Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” Seek God first. Even when you feel you don’t have time. He carries the answers you need. Breathe Him in. Trust in and rely on Him. You can’t exhale what you haven’t inhaled.
As you navigate life, place God first and family second. God honors the one who correctly prioritizes life by honoring Him. When you are with your husband and children, remember that even when time is short, the intentionality of your interactions matter. Your children and spouse need to see joy in your eyes, reactions, tone of voice, and body language when they enter the room. God has gifted you with a family to grow with and to love as He loves you. Honor them by learning to be a set-apart woman with eyes, mind, and heart centered above. As your children grow, do you want them to live with fear or faith? Show them the example they need to grasp the hope and peace that is in Christ. Help them find faith that carries them past fear while they are young. If you feel frustrated that you don't have time alone, remember God's direction in prioritizing Him, then spouse, then kids. Let Him know the desires of your heart and ask Him for a way to reeive the self-care you need. Put Him first and see the ways He intimately provides for you.
Dear Heavenly Father, You alone are Lord. You alone are our sustainer and rock, our guide and guard. Oh, Father. How we need You. While our humanness seeks to go on our own, our soul cries out for You. Help us step into and remain in the palm of Your mighty hands. Cradle us against Your chest so we never want to leave. Show us the way to raise safe and godly children who know, pursue, and love you. Help us not to fear, but to rest. Help us not carry anxiety, but trust in Youi. Make us more like You each moment. We thank you for your grace, mercy, and everlasting love. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Have you heard me talk about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast? Do you wonder why I share it so often? It’s simply because I know the program works. Through 8 weeks of one-on-one and group coaching, along with Scripturally-based materials I provide, you will complete 8 steps that include the following: Seek God First, Establish Identity, Teach Truth, A Set-Apart Woman, Parent Set-Apart Kids, Arm for Battle, Relationships, and Training. What you learn and solidify in your personal life will directly affect the way you serve God and parent for Him. It will help you construct godly confidence and esteem through Christ in your children.
If you’re ready to invest in the future of your children, contact me at info@terrihitt.com for more details or visit terrihitt.com/setapart. Because you are a podcast listener, let me know you heard about the special price I’m offering you. I seriously want you to experience results and live a set-apart life with a set-apart family. Instead of a $997 value, I’ll give you a discount code that enables you to pay only $247. If you are serious about parenting with eternal perspective and raising children to chase Christ over culture, I’m making this very affordable and easy to do.
Why? Because supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. Godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will deepen your walk with Christ. You’ll learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family. Send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information or look online at terrihitt.com/setapart. We can also set up a 15 minute call to chat about details. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make your matter for eternity.
If you connected in some way with this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a minute or so and makes a big difference in people finding the podcast. You and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so would you please choose a friend to recommend the show to? Let them know that the podcast is found at terrihitt.com, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Imagine the change we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.
Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.