Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 090 - How Christ Can Help You and Your Children Discover True Identity
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 090 – How Christ Can Help You and Your Children Discover True Identity
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast deepens your walk with Jesus and your children, equipping you to become a set-apart woman and mother.
Today I’m sharing an older episode from my previous podcast, Live With Eternal Perspective. Because this episode is a hit with the ladies in my Set-Apart Collective when we study identity, I thought it would be beneficial to share it on the Purposed Parent Connected Child podcast.
Here’s the episode:
At a recent family gathering, I listened to my adult son share childhood recollections with my younger daughters and grandson. It was a pleasure to hear how he remembered events and what his opinions were. I’ve always been fascinated by how people can live the same experiences and have such different emotions and memories. Listening to his recollections and thoughts allowed me to know him in a new way and appreciate the unique ways God wired him to view and participate in life.
So, we’re going to start with memories. Let’s relax and think back. Do you remember something about your childhood that was always a pleasure to do? I don’t mean something you had to do. Did you have an interest that stirred you, motivated you, or set you apart from others? A passion? Was there a gift or calling you had to pursue because it seemed to complete you? What about your child? Is there something she does that is a type of identity marker?
When my middle daughter was young, there were two things anyone who knew her would mention if they spoke of her. Dance and painting. Those who know my youngest daughter well would say designing and building with Legos. My oldest daughter had such wit and a quick sense of humor.
I am a believer that it is a privilege and responsibility for parents to observe the inclinations and interests our children have. There is a connection between youth and exploration into what we are naturally drawn to. Observant parents will pay attention to these clues, along with the personality of their child. Through prayer and connection to them, we should find joy in assisting them to find what brings light to their spirit and could also be a source of income in the future, as well as an offering they can use to honor God with what He has bestowed to them.
My adult son uses skills God gave him to be able to listen well, read body language, and connect with people as he serves them in sales. My youngest daughter crafts intricate designs and constructs buildings and cities with Legos and also has an amazing ability to streamline processes. My middle daughter is gifted visually and artistically with graphic design and through the use of paper, paint, and a brush, brings light and joyful artwork to others. She sees the world through the eyes of an artist and everything is more beautiful because of her vision.
One of the biggest parenting joys I have is seeing and recognizing the passions, interests, and abilities God has crafted into each one of my children.
Do you find it easier to observe and understand the God-gifted abilities your children possess, but perhaps not what you have yourself? I know it is more challenging for me. Although I always understood what I enjoyed and where I found peace and motivation, I was never able to comfortably or confidently acknowledge that I might have a talent in writing. To be very raw, I still don’t see a great ability, but I am leaning on the trust I have in God and the stirrings He places in my heart to accomplish through Him. I trust God will equip me to humbly follow where He leads to write simply and honestly about Him.
What many people find challenging is to balance finding gifts or passions and connecting those talents and interests to enable them to fully express and use them for God.
Even more important than finding and using the gifts God has given is learning to see ourselves as God views us and to understand how to navigate life in this world as He desires and calls us to.
God wants us to learn the Truths He says about us. His desire is that we mature our walk with Him through deep relationship with Christ. As we build our esteem and life around who He says we are and what we can do through Him we discover godly identity.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.”
If you don’t know who you are through Christ, you can’t model to your children where to find theiridentity. Instead, they will likely search and chase the culture and influences of this world. They’ll establish their identity based on who or what they see and hear the loudest.
These days, by the time children are in middle school, and often grade school, many deal with suicide rates, nude photos, chat with dangerous strangers who attract and lead them away, and many have been exposed to pornography. These are topics we never want to hear associated with any person, let alone children.
When a child (just like an adult), does not have a moral compass built on Christ, he is much more prone to seek whatever this world or his tell him. He will never find satisfaction or live with joy, hope, or peace.
Matthew 6:33-34 says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
You must have a true and maturing relationship with God through Jesus in order to recognize the need for your child to have the same.
Psalm 63:1 says, “O God, You are my God; I earnestly search for You. My soul thirsts for You; my whole body longs for You in this parched and weary land where there is no water.”
We were created for beautiful fellowship and communion with God.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
God created us to desire Him. When we don’t seek Him, our spirit is never satisfied. Our beloved children have the same need for God created in them.
If you do not intentionally nurture and instruct your children in a healthy and growing relationship with Christ, they will subconsciously absorb and become what others in this world show and tell - to value and believe. They will also likely find unhealthy ways to cope with stresses and disappointments in life.
On the other hand, children who are raised in healthy, God-filled environments at home contain more joy and contentment, and are more optimistic, encouraging, resilient, and flexible. They are also less likely to be promiscuous, use drugs or alcohol, or be lured into or tempted by unsafe encounters, and are closer to parents and family than the average child.
Your children, when raised to honor and follow Jesus in a thriving relationship, are also more likely to have wise self-control, habits, and behaviors. They are also more likely to seek godlywisdom over worldly advice.
A growing concern today is the sexual orientation of children. Our educational system, as well as books, movies, television shows, music, and celebrities, push a godless agenda of choice and change on our innocent and naïve children. When we raise our children to know, respect, and understand God’s sovereignty, values, and truths, they will understand their God-givensexual identity and carry a sacred view of life - while maintaining respectful tolerance for family and community, even those who carry differing opinions. Children patterning life after Jesus do not look down on others who disagree and can have a conversation without harsh accusations or anger. Instead, they show empathy and respect while allowing others to make personal choices. However, children raised to know God’s views and values respectfully ask God to guide their choices so that He is the one they please and honor.
Children who concentrate on growing a relationship with God through Jesus have a deeper respect for authority, are more likely to uphold truthfulness and integrity, dress modestly, respect self, and learn to view set-backs or hardships as opportunities to grow closer to God. They also establish and reinforce healthy and thriving coping behaviors or life skills.
It is essential that you build your personal relationship with Jesus moment by moment. When He is important to you, when you delight in Him, His teachings, and your walk with Him, your child will also begin to place importance on relationship with Christ.
Once you are growing our faith journey in genuine and fruitful ways, how do you encourage and enable your child to build their identity in Christ? There are multiple ways, but I will list 13 easy methods to begin with.
1. Let your child see you build relationship, not watch you follow a religion. Connections are built through authenticity, joy, and commitment.
2. Share why you hold certain beliefs. Back up your faith with God’s word and stories of His faithfulness.
3. Look for, and point outGod, in simple moments of life. Include Him in all you are and do. Nature walks, Bible stories, and tying Him to life events are all easy ways to begin.
4. Develop routines and traditionsthat guide the entire family to the Lord. Our family made a Family Vision and Mission Statement. You can listen the Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast episode 039 “Family With A Mission,” to hear more about it. It’s also a portion of my Set-Apart Collective.
5. Create your own Family Mission Statement together. Listen to the input of your child and incorporate it into the statement.
6. Read the Bible and pray together daily. I don’t mean rote prayers that you check off your list at the end of the day, but develop relationship with each other and God through prayer together.
7. Let your children see you read your Bible during personal time, as well. Encourage them to do the same.
8. Pray for your children alone, but also in front of them. Encourage them to pray for you, too.
9. Show your children how you look to God in times of trouble so that they will do the same.
10. Let your children see you praise God in good times, too.
11. Teach them (by example) how to serve and honor God. Let them come with you when you serve (where appropriate) and let them choose places to serve so that you can work together.
12. Spend time with your children doing their love language. Work with the schedule of your family to create moments your child will remember. When they are attached and feel close to you, they will be more willing to desire a relationship with God. You will also be able to guide them more easily, because they will let you be privy to thoughts and feelings since you have a strong relationship they trust. Your opinions and guidance will be more important than that of peers.
13. Listen to your child. When you share a close relationship, they will be more likely to entrust questions, fears, joys, and doubts about God with you so that you can help them navigate faith, pray specifically, and help them flourish.
Two verses from Proverbs give great hope for parents.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”
Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.”
We cannot guarantee that our children will choose to follow Jesus, but we can ensure that we give them sincere, natural, positive, and faith-filled truths, experiences, and biblical scriptures to make Jesus known and to guide them straight to His feet. Godly character and integrity can be imparted to them through consistent, purposeful mentorship when we personally know, love, and strive to honor the Lord with our children. Then we prayerfully and consistently pursue Jesus in these ways over and over each day. Through easy and difficult times, through tears and smiles, we inhale Christ and exhale Him in beautiful ways moment by moment. Then we prayerfully and obediently trust God to do the work in their hearts.
1 Peter 5:2-3 says, “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”
What a purposed privilege to parent children for God.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”
Remember, God did not allow you to parent His unique child because He knows you are fully equipped. God demands and desires that you trust in Him and allow Him to lead and equip you in every aspect of your parenting journey. Be on your knees daily with mind and heart turned to His every lead. God knows and understands everything about you and your child. He is the only one who can guide you in the ways you should go. He is fully equipped and able to handle every need that you, or your children, have.
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
One of my favorite parental instruction passages is Deuteronomy 6:6-9, which says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
God makes the holy importance of purposeful parenting for Him very clear.
Psalm 78:1-7 says, “My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old— things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, His power, and the wonders He has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which He commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget His deeds but would keep His commands.”
Jesus speaks the instruction so clearly in Matthew 19:14. “But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
Likewise, Mark 9:42 says, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”
Our glorious Father God, we need You so desperately. Thank you for Your guidance, love, and instruction. Parenting is the greatest and hardest joy You bestow on us. May we be more worthy of Your great gift because of our steadfast pursuit of You and our obedience to You. Help us understand Your desires and see the blessing of our children with Your loving eyes. Enable us to seek and find You in deeper ways daily and show us how to reach each child with Your heart and truths. May our children please and delight You, Father. May they find their identity through and in You. Keep them close and in Your perfect care. Give them Your wisdom and desires. May they be equipped and eager to show You, so that Your truths and commands will be known to, and followed by, future generations. In Your precious name we pray. Amen.
I hope you enjoyed this episode from Live With Eternal Perspective. This is a sample portion of the coaching you receive in the Set-Apart Collective.
Have you heard me talk about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast? Do you wonder why I share it so often? It’s simply because I know the program works. If you’re ready to invest in the future of your children, contact me at info@terrihitt.com for more details or visit terrihitt.com/setapart. Because you are a podcast listener, let me know you heard about the special price I’m offering you. I deeply want you to experience results and live a set-apart life with a set-apart family. Instead of a $997 value, I’ll give you a discount code that enables you to pay only $247. If you are serious about parenting with eternal perspective and raising children to chase Christ over culture, I’m making this very affordable and easy to do.
Why? Because supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. Godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will deepen your walk with Christ. You’ll learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family. Send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information or look online at terrihitt.com/setapart. We can also set up a no obligation, strategic 15 minute call to chat about your needs to see if the program is a right fit for you. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make your matter for eternity.
If you connected in some way with this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a minute or so and makes a big difference in people finding the podcast. You and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so would you please choose a friend to recommend the show to? Let them know that the podcast is found at terrihitt.com, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Imagine the changes we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.
Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.