Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 091 - Ten Ways to Get Your Child to Listen
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 091 – Ten Ways to Get Your Child to Listen
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast deepens your walk with Jesus and your children, equipping you to become a set-apart woman and mother.
I often repeat myself when I talk to my youngest daughter if she’s not wearing her hearing aid. Because she’s deaf in one ear and almost deaf in the other, that hearing aid is a necessity. For a very long time, my daughter didn’t want to wear it. Finally, she realized how much it helps her to hear, understand, and respond to life much more easily.
However, sometimes children can clearly hear, but don’t listen.
There are various reasons your children may fail to respond when you speak, but I’ll share four of the most common.
1. Kids like the feeling of being in control. When they purposely don’t listen, they’re likely asserting control. The ability to “shut you out” gives them that feelingof control.
2. Kids are often too busy. What they value more than your directives are the thoughts pressing in their mind.
3. Kids can be overscheduled. When schedules are tight, focus on you is limited or divided.
4. Kids move fast. If you have a busy family with lots of coming and going, it can be difficult to catch what you say.
Now that I’ve shared some of the most common reasons your children may not listen, I’ll share ten ways to attract their attention and help them hear what you say.
1. Responsibility–Parents often make demands instead of directing their children in the way they desire them to act. Instead of hurriedly tossing words your child perceives as a demand, make your directives clear, but respectful. When the task is something your child should know to do, yet isn’t consistent, ask your child what their plan is for the chore they need to complete. Kids appreciate the opportunity to share their thoughts and accept responsibility. Giving them an option for the order of duties or a time limit on the task allows them to have some control and accept responsibilityfor the action.
2. Comprehension – Humans, whether young or old, need a chance for our brain to comprehend what we have been instructed. When you stop to ask your children to narrate back what you have required of them, you help them build stronger brain pathways and ensure they hear and understand your instructions.
3. Eye Contact – When you purposely connect with eye contact, you ensure your children notice you are speaking to them. Stand at a level you can meet their eyes and touch their shoulder or arm as you speak.
4. Trust – When you make requests, show that you trust they will complete your instructions by thanking your child in advance. Thank them again after the chore is completed.
5. Keep it Short – Don’t set your children up to fail by shooting ten commands at them at one time. Keep requests simple and age appropriate. Offer your directives clearly by using the points already mentioned in this episode. Depending on the age of your children, chore lists may also be used.
6. Options – When the tables are turned and your child is asking you for something, don’t automatically respond with a “no” that sets your child up to become frustrated and stop listening. Instead, make a suggestion that allows them to participate in planning and also gives them a feeling of control. “That doesn’t work today, but how about Sunday?” or “We’ve already made plans for today, but that sounds like something fun. Would you rather do that Friday or Saturday?” are good options. Use what works best in your family and with your children.
7. Clarity – Instead of saying, “Don’t leave your dirty clothes on the floor again,” you can give a directive such as, “I put the hamper in your room for those dirty clothes.” Your reminder will clearly come across without resorting to nagging.
8. Be Quiet – If you want your child to hear, sometimes you need to speak more quietly. When you yell commands, you automatically set your child up for a negative feeling and response. A quiet voice offers respect and should receive the same with practiced use.
9. Kindness – Instead of saying, “you always,” or “you never,” treat your children as you desire to be treated. Set them up to succeed with joy and connection to you and the family.
10. Praise – When you child completes the tasks you have assigned, praise them for listening well and obeying you with respect.
It is my hope that some of these suggestions will enable your child to develop better listening skills and for your communication together to be stronger.
Isn’t it humbling to know that the closer we become to God through our walk with Christ, the stronger our parenting skills become? Let God be the leader in your home and heart as you prayerfully and purposely raise each child to know and honor Him.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for Your lovingkindness. Thank you for the hope and joy You give us through the children You have entrusted to us. You are the Great I Am, the Creator of the heavens and the earth, yet You know each of us personally and love us with an everlasting love. Help us to heed Your whispers in our spirit as we raise our children in ways that honor You. Help them to listen and obey us with respect and joy because they love, honor, and obey You. Fill our hearts with godly insight for each child in our care. Help us to see and love them as You do. Make our homes a place of rest and respect. Thank you that we are always welcome in Your mighty presence. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Raising children is challenging. No one has all the answers because each child is unique as are parenting styles and family dynamics. By connecting with and knowing your children as you maintain purposed growth in Christ, you will be better prepared for any situation you face.
That’s why you hear me share about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast. Supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. Godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries.
If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will deepen your walk with Christ. You’ll learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family.
Send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information or look online at terrihitt.com/setapart. We can also set up a no obligation, strategic 15 minute call to chat about your needs to see if the program is a right fit for you. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make yours matter for eternity.
If you’re ready to invest in the future of your children, contact me at info@terrihitt.com for more details or visit terrihitt.com/setapart. Because you are a podcast listener, let me know you heard about the special price I’m offering you. I seriously want you to experience results and live a set-apart life with a set-apart family. Instead of a $997 value, I’ll give you a discount code that enables you to pay only $247. If you are serious about parenting with eternal perspective and raising children to chase Christ over culture, I’m making this very affordable and easy to do.
If you appreciated this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a few minutes and makes a big difference in whether people are able to find the podcast. Also, you and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so please choose a friend to recommend the show to. Imagine the changes we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.
Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.