Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 095 – Self-Care for Busy Moms: Strategies for Prioritizing Your Well-Being through Christ
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 095 – Self-Care for Busy Moms: Strategies for Prioritizing Your Well-Being through Christ
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast deepens your walk with Jesus and your children, equipping you to become a set-apart woman and mother.
Self-care. It can mean many things to different people.
I’ll be honest. After years of targeted advertisements and big box stores wanting my money, I got tired of hearing the term “self-care.” Since many ads tell women to place themselves first, to escape with bubble baths if they can’t handle stress, or a spa experience after every hard day of work, or shirts that call women to drink a glass of wine each night because parenting is so difficult, I cringe when I hear “self-care.”
But advertising agencies shouldn’t dictate the definition of self-care. What does the term mean to you? Is it biblical? I believe the answer lays in how we personally define the expression. If we think of the answer with a secular mindset, the term isn’t Christlike. However, if we define the phrase self-care through the lens of caring for self so that we receive the rest and care we need, then we preserve ourselves for what God calls us to complete, I believe we move with biblical intentions.
Life can be challenging. Tiring. It can be stressful. Demanding. Meeting the expectations of others – or even sometimes our own hopes or dreams - can feel overwhelming or impossible at times. That is why true self-care should start with residing and resting in Christ.
In reality, none of us have come close to experiencing the burdens Jesus carried. If anyone needed self-care, it would be Him. Because Jesus was burdened, yet led a model life, we are blessed to observe His life and learn from how He lived. As we do so, we see Jesus placed God first no matter the cost, yet He still made time to care for self.
During His ministry, Jesus carried a burdensome schedule. He could have continued to serve others, neglecting self. Between healing, teaching, traveling, drawing nearer to God, prayer, and more miracles, Jesus was fully God. He could have found the stamina to continue non-stop work. Yet, remember that Jesus was also fully man. He was a man who loved God with all His heart, soul, mind, and strength. He desired to serve God in ways that were fruitful, yet holy. He knew God called Him to rest, just as He Himself stopped to do when creating the world.
Although Jesus knew He needed rest, He prioritizedGod. He ensured that knowing, serving, and honoring God were top of His mind and heart moment by moment day after day. Jesus understood that nothingwas as important as placing God over everything. When Jesus wanted time alone, He spent it with the Father first. Jesus understood that without resting in God, He would not receive the rest His Spirit craved.
Listen to this verse from Matthew 22:34-37, which says, “Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested Him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”
Jesus’ words teach these truths:
Biblical self-care begins with God. Place God first by studying His word – even if you can only manage ten or fifteen minutes a day in your current season, your intentionality will produce huge results over time. If you simply can’t find time to read the Word, listento the Bible. The more intimate your walk with God becomes, the trials and tribulations of this world lose their sting. You see God at work and recognize His hand in your life - in the way you think, respond, and speak.
Biblical self-care doesn’t feel entitled. If you place the Lord first, you’re still allowed to want time for activities such as going out for coffee with friends, a date with your husband, or pursuing a hobby. Because you place the Father first, the time you’ve already spent with God deepening your relationship will keep you from feeling like you’re falling apart without those “extras” you desire. Being refreshed in the Lord helps you maintain joy despite irritations. The time you spend with husband, children, and friends – or even the solo pursuits you follow will be sweeter as you allow God access to areas only He can fill. You begin to hear and respond to His callings and purposes for your life.
Biblical self-care doesn’t over-indulge. When you make time to pursue friends, family, and fun, you appreciate the blessings, but don’t let them overtake your life. When God is in His rightful place at the center of your heart and mind, He graciously fills your day with His perfect timing and desire that are pleasing and honoring to Him.
Now let’s expand on the 3 points we just discussed by looking at 7 ways to keep God first, avoid self-entitlement, and prevent over-indulgence:
1. Make it your goal to be in God’s Word daily. Study, not just read. When women hear the word “study,” they are often fearful that they don’t have time to read the Bible. When I say study, I mean read and ponder God’s words. Really absorb them by using a good study Bible that gives deeper exploration and expansion on what you are learning. Pray about what God wants you to see, hear, and understand. Ask Him to help you apply His words and teachings in your life in ways that honor Him. You can never outstudy God. But if you are in a season where you can’t spend much time per day, use the time you have to wisely craft relationship with your Heavenly Father. By purposing time with Him, you willsee a difference in the way you submit to the Lord and the way His presence is noticed in your actions, reactions, words, and desires.
2. Be Thankful. No matter your circumstances, view life events with a thankful heart. Allow what you consider “bad” to shape and mold your character, heart, and mindset for Christ. If you belong to Jesus, what happens to you or those you love has already been sifted through God’s hands. What happens is not meant for evil or to harm you. Jesus warned us that we would face tribulations in this world. The best is not yet here…it is to come. Let God work through you to let circumstances, (even the hardships) bring you nearer to Him and the person He purposed you to be. Never forget you are mentoring the watching eyes and listening ears in your home.
3. Form a prayer circle of family and friends. Prayer is vital. Gather trusted prayer warriors to lift you, your family, your husband, or your children. Do the same for your prayer partners. Prayer is a mighty fortress and strength.
4. Get wise nourishment. Eat and drink wisely. Make sure you get plenty of liquids. Eat healthy foods. You know the drill. Think of caring for self as an act of gratitude to God and for those who love you.
5. Exercise 5-7 days a week. Exercise is one of those things that you know you have to do, but don’t want to do it until you actually do – and realize how much better it usually makes you feel. Just get started. Even if it is only ten minutes a day to start, go for that walk. Hit the gym. Ride that bike. Do whatever interests you. If it’s outside, it’s an added bonus. Being in nature brings an extra calm and joy to exercise benefits. Don’t think of it as exercise, but as caring for the body God gave you. As you care for your body physically, you also reap benefits mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
6. Get enough rest. I know it can be challenging to get enough rest. As an adult, you really need 7-8 hours of rest. Even as I tell you this fact, I know it’s difficult for me to get enough rest. In all transparency, I don’t like to sleep. I always wake up in the night and look at my clock to see if I can get up yet. I’m excited to start the day. I usually get about 61/2 to 7 broken hours of sleep. I yearn for a night I don’t have to get up to use the restroom at least once and remember those days I used to sleep without awakenings for at least 8 hours. But try your best to get enough sleep. Your mind and body will thank you today and in the years to come.
7. Spend time with those God gave you. What a gift that God gives us people to love. He hand-chose each of your family members. Be prayerful about your relationships. Strive to honor God with them.
Don’t let this list of items make you fret. It may sound like a lot as you listen, but as you incorporate these steps into your lifestyle, they become second nature. You won’t always have time to do every item daily, but as you incorporate them into your lifestyle, you create a flow that is pleasing to God, your family, and yourself.
Now that we’ve talked about how to keep God first, avoid self-entitlement, and prevent over-indulgence, let’s look again at the life of Jesus and the examples He set for us. Through Him, we learn how Jesus accomplished self-care while remaining in pursuit of God and how we can do the same.
1. Teach – Jesus wasn’t formally trained as a Rabbi, but people recognized His gifts. Christ is called a teacher over forty times in the New Testament. As He taught, Jesus used many methods to reach people exactly where they were, such as parables, proverbs, riddles, and more. His radical words caused people to challenge the kingdom of this world and view sin and eternal life through new eyes and heart. Do you know Jesus well enough to show Him to others?
2. Serve – Jesus was motivated by love when He served. Love for God and others was always His influence. Obedience to God kept Him focused on love, even when it cost Him His life. Are you motivated to obey God through your love for Jesus?
3. Retreat – Jesus chose stillness. When He retreated to be with God, He didn’t think about time He might be wasting because there were other things He needed to do. He allowed God to quiet His mind. Jesus remained at the Father’s feet so He could easily and clearly hear His voice. He allowed the Word of God to keep Him close as He studied and trusted the commands His father gave. Jesus regularly retreated to a quiet place to pray and prioritize the plans of His Father. He taught His disciples this example, and He clearly mentored how we can do the same. Do you regularly pursue the Lord through time with Him?
4. Rest – At the beginning of His Word to us in Genesis, God set the example of work and rest. Jesus, following the Father’s footsteps, also left a perfect imprint for our heart to follow in obedience. First, we are instructed to come to Jesus. Without relationship with Jesus, we cannot know the way to God. We cannot please Him. Without Christ, we never experience true rest or peace. Jesus calls to each of us when He says, “All you who labor and are heavy laden.” Every living person experiences trials and hardships, burdens that we are unable to carry in our strength. If we desire deep and lasting joy, peace, and rest, we can heed the promise in His words, “I will give you rest.” Jesus also instructs us to “Take my yoke upon you.” He means for us to remove the yoke, or burdens we carry and give them to Him. Allow Him to shoulder the load. Jesus tells us to “Learn from Me,” as He shows us how to rest in God through intimate relationship. He promises we will “Find rest into your souls.” Jesus truly gives “peace that surpasses all understanding.” Are you able to receive what He offers by heeding His actions and words? Are you resting in God as you rest in Christ?
5. Repeat – Maintain and mature the relationship you are building with God through Christ. Follow the loving examples Jesus set for you.
It can be distracting to listen to all the self-care advice offered by the world. Television and magazine ads, billboards, and more tout taking care of self as the most important aspect of life. Except we know they just want to sell self-care products or experiences. However, as we’ve heard on this episode, there is truth to the idea that we need to care for self in order to care for others well. Most importantly, we need to care for self in godly ways that honor Christ.
The most important ways to care for self are simple. We strive to be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. As you care for yourself physically, you practice the habits of eating, hydrating, exercising, and sleeping well. As you care for yourself emotionally, you come to know self through emotions and your past and current habits. As you care for yourself mentally, you think and speak to self with love and respect. Most importantly, you study and practice God’s truths and allow them to shape your thoughts and desires. As you care for yourself financially, you work to keep money and the way you accumulate and spend it, in order as God would call. The Bible actually gives much insight into how God calls us to hold and spend money. Of course, He also instructs us how to carry it in our heart in God-honoring ways. As you care for yourself spiritually, you allow self to seek God, not man-made religions. You draw strength from His truths and practice His commands in humble obedience and love. Your spiritual health is the most important component of self-care as it affects all other areas.
As you deepen your self-care journey in Christlike ways, I urge you to consider the areas of your life such as sleep, eating and drinking, exercise, relationships, Bible study and prayer, and journaling, if you enjoy getting thoughts out on paper. Keeping a prayer journal or a gratitude journal are also ways of strengthening your spiritual, emotional, and mental health. Pursuing the passions God created within you, serving others, allowing yourself to loosen up and laugh often, caring for a pet, and continued learning to broaden passions and interests, whether through classes, podcasts, reading, or a mentorship are all ways to relax and utilize talents endowed to you.
Asking yourself questions such as: What energizes me? What drains me? What do you feel you need to do to be a godly mom? A godly woman? A godly wife? How can you get there? Ask God to build you a strong foundation of self-care that then extends to care for others in your life.
Prayerfully consideration of where you feel your life is lacking, what is difficult, or where you feel over-stretched, will enable you to know where to begin pursuing the questions I mentioned. Also prayerfully consider your schedule and season of life. Ask God to show you how to fit Hisidea of self-care into your lifestyle. Start small if needed, but continue to pursue the Lord first as you incorporate stronger relationship with Him into any area of self-care you choose.
Dear Heavenly Father, You are the One who created the heavens and the earth just as You purposely created each of us. Help us to honor You with the care we give self and others. Help us to see where we are lacking in caring for the body, mind, and spirit You crafted for us. Help us seek You first and incorporate Your ideas of care into self and home. May we remember the model life Jesus set for us and know how to apply His lifestyle and teaching into our home. Father, You are truly good. You desire us to care for self, just as You call us to care for others. But it all stems from relationship with You first. May we begin a better routine of self-care today. May we make it godly, not good. May we give you joy as You flow through and guide us. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Raising children is challenging. No one has all the answers because each child is unique as are parenting styles and family dynamics. By connecting with and knowing your children as you maintain purposed growth in Christ, you will be better prepared for any situation you face.
That’s why you hear me share about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast. Supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. Godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will deepen your walk with Christ. You’ll learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family. Send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information or look online at terrihitt.com/setapart. We can also set up a no obligation, strategic 15 minute call to chat about your needs to see if the program is a right fit for you. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make yours matter for eternity.
Also, if you appreciated this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a few minutes and makes a big difference in whether people are able to find the podcast. Also, you and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so please choose a friend to recommend the show to. Imagine the changes we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.
One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ.