Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 104 - How My Daughter Showed Me God's Love Language
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 104 – How My Daughter Showed Me God's Love Language
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast gives you the awareness and tools you need to STOP being a GOOD mom and BECOME the GODLY mom God entrusts you to be. Then you will be the SET-APART woman PURPOSELY raising children to chase CHRIST over culture.
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One Sunday morning my husband and youngest daughter came to see if I was ready to leave for church. I was in my bedroom closet finishing getting dressed. After we talked for a bit, then laughed about something silly, my husband started teasing. I don’t remember what his joke was, but as he made a comment, he pushed the closet door closed (with me still in it).
As the door was just about ready to shut, our youngest daughter thrust her hand into the crack to stop the door from closing. Of course, you can guess what happened. The door slammed shut, catching part of her ring finger. Redness and a blood blister immediately appeared. I opened the door and tended to her finger as my husband apologized. “I didn’t know you were going to put your hand in there,” he told her. “I’m so sorry you got hurt.”
“I didn’t want the door to close on Mama,” she said.
Although she knew her daddy was just teasing, our daughter wanted to keep me from being excluded or shut out. Instead of thinking about the consequences of her actions, she acted on instinct with one thought top of mind. In her own words, she wanted to, “Save Mama.”
Even though she’s never sacrificed her finger in a door before, my girl has shown sacrificial love often. Any time she thinks family needs to be rescued or defended, she’s always first in line to be the rescuer. I can think of times she has offered the last bit of her food to another, offered her soft robe when I was cold, or a blanket for someone in need of warmth. She doesn’t only see or hear the needs of others, she purposely looks to see if she can quickly get that need filled by something she possesses.
Not all people have that skill or desire. Not everyone can offer sacrificial love. Most want to count the cost to self before they act. Of course, I hope my daughter doesn’t thrust her hand before a closing door again, but I never want to discourage her willingness to place others before herself. Sacrificing self for family is one of her love languages.
In a much broader sense, God has shown all people this type of love language. Knowing our need for a perfect Savior, God offered what only He could give.
1 John 3:18 says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
There are four things my daughter does consistently that show me her heart for family and Jesus. As I pondered what they were, I realized they are also four ways God shows us His love.
Let’s examine those examples of how God exhibits love to us through actions and how those specific steps show us the way to respond to Him and others. Then let’s use them and teach them to our children.
1. Purpose - Before God could offer His beloved Son for our sins, He needed to bring us into existence. Can you believe our Heavenly Father planned every oneof us long before we were born? Each of us were crafted with intentionand for purposes that are supposed to bring honor back to Him. The Maker of heaven and earth intentionally brought you and me into existence because He yearned for us to live and spend eternity with Him.
Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”
Obviously my daughter didn’t craft you or me into existence, but she is very purposeful in seeing how she can serve others with what she has. In Acts 20:35 Paul says,“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.” As we are purposed in what we do for God we are using the love language He used for us.
2. Sacrifice – John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Some who do not know Jesus believe that there is more than one way to Heaven. God is very clear. He doesn’t want anyone to perish. John 14:6 says, “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
God gave mankind the very best He had. Our human mind simply cannot comprehend the enormous sacrifice God made for us. As a mother who has lost a child, I have lived the pain and crushing grief of my child passing before me. I can’t fathom sacrificing one of my children to take on the sins of others and die in their place. So great is God’s love for us, so great is the love and obedience of Christ that we have the choice to accept this greatest of all gifts.
When my youngest daughter steps in to discover how she can serve someone, she often sacrifices an item she greatly desires to keep, yet releases it with a smile and willingness to help someone else experience joy and comfort. Hebrews 13:16 says, “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” As we sacrifice self for others, we are serving God and using the love language He used for us.
3. Love- God offers us agape love, a pure, unselfish love that is not derived from attraction or obligation, but is a sacrificial choice. I personally describe agape love as 1 Corinthians 13 - mixed with Jesus on the cross, dying for our sins.
Matthew 22:37-39 says, “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
When another person offers all they have or something greatly desired by them without selfish motives or intentions, they begin to experience the highest form of love. As we love in ways only possible through Christ, we are using the language of love in ways that serve God and give Him great joy.
4. Obedience – John 3:16-17 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”
Jesus modeled complete obedience to God. He did not make excuses, try to bargain with God, stall, or turn away in disobedience. Instead, Jesus prayed with all His might that He would follow exactly where God desired Him to go and serve. It wasn’t easy, but Jesus forged ahead where His Heavenly Father called.
We’ve all had times in life where we hear the still small voice of God calling us to obey. In that moment we have the opportunity to make a choice. Will we hear and act with godly intentions and to please the Father or do we choose to serve self. The greatest moments in my life have been birthed after sacrificial obedience to God. I bet yours have been, too. As we step out in obedience, even when the future is uncertain or the cost is great, we serve God as He desires and deserves.
Through these examples, we remember that we are also to carry purpose, sacrifice for others, offer agape love, and walk in obedienceto God. Through Jesus, we see the perfect example of how to walk in faith and live with love. We are also called to model these qualities for our children and teach them that the ability to use them for God will come from a close walk with Jesus.
1 John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Praise God that we have been given many examples to experience God’s unlimited, everlasting love. What we see dimly here will one day be fully revealed in eternity with Him.
Do you see ways your children are loving and serving God through actions, words, desires, and reactions? Let them know you see and appreciate what they say and do. Remind them that God is pleased when we walk in ways that honor Him.
Think about how you are teaching your children the methods of seeing, receiving, and offering God’s love languages. Start being intentional in how you model and teach ways of serving God and others. Anticipate the godly growth God will bring into your home (that will last into eternity) as you are purposed, sacrificial, loving, and obedient and teach your children to be the same as they grow in relationship with Jesus.
Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for Your everlasting love and kindness. Your intentional ways are so far above us that we often fail to understand or even recognize how great You are. Open our eyes and heart so that we are purposed mothers who yearn more deeply for You day by day. Enable us to follow You fully as You call so we can show the way to our children. May we be purposed, sacrificial, loving, and obedient and give You great joy. May we see and use Your love languages effortlessly because we draw nearer to You each moment. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Raising children is challenging. No one has all the answers because each child is unique as are parenting styles and family dynamics. By connecting with and knowing your children as you maintain purposed growth in Christ, you will be better prepared for any situation you face.
That’s why you hear me share about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast. I work with ambitious moms who care about making Jesus known to their children. Are you a high-achieving woman who loves Jesus, but is so busy with the rush of work and daily life that you feel like you’re being drained like the water in your bathtub? Do you yearn to get closer to Jesus and show Him to your kids so you will create a love that will last into eternity? The desire is there, but your days spiral out of control before you even think about opening your Bible.
Do you ever stop to think that you are the first Jesus your child will see? Let me remind you there is hope. There is a way you can be equipped to raise kids who chase Christ over culture. If you want a connected relationship with Christ and your children that leads them to your side and His feet, instead of them seeking validation from peers, I have an 8-step program to move you from frustrated to fulfilled. I will show you how to reflect Jesus in a way that attracts your family to a connected relationship that lasts into eternity.
Remember, godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset you carry. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will arm you with a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You’ll also deepen your identity in Christ so you can mentor the way for your children to do the same. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family and you will have the tools to raise set apart kids as you parent the heart, not simply the behavior.
Does this sound like a lifeline to help you be that set-apart mom God has entrusted you to be? Visit terrihitt.com/coaching and click the link for a free, no obligation conversation call with me. This is a strategic call where I will hear your biggest struggle and show you how to turn it into a blessing that will bring you closer to Christ and your children. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make yours matter for eternity.
One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ.