top of page

Not My Real Mom

Updated: Sep 3, 2023

Earlier this week I heard words that I knew might one day be said. In 15 years of adoptive parenting, they had never been spoken to me.

You’re not my real mom.”

Instead of pain, my first thoughts were “How can I help her? What is going on inside her mind and spirit?”

Always so good with eye contact, my youngest did not meet my eyes this time. Even when we received her as ours after meeting for the first time in China, she had perfect eye contact.

In fact, her gaze was so impressive that I knew we had a fireball in our family.

I remained calm and kept my voice gentle. “Why do you say that?” I asked. “Why do you say I’m not your real mom?”

Because you are wearing make up today,” she said.

I began to laugh. I couldn’t help it. My youngest loves to stay home. Her perfect day includes me waking her up in the morning wearing no makeup and my “stay home” clothes.

Yes, there is a distinct difference in the way I look at home and when I go out in public.

Comfy clothes are all I wear at home. Not pajamas, but close – soft and warm clothes.

Brooklyn wears her pajamas all day – every day, unless we go out.

This was her unique way of telling me how dissatisfied she was with me.

After hugging, I explained to her that I knew she didn’t like to go to the doctor. I promised her it would be an easy visit and that we could stay home – without makeup – the next day. The next morning after awakening her (of course in my no makeup, stay home attire), I asked her if her “real mommy” was back.

She smiled and told me, “Yes. Mommy likes to stay home with me.”

It’s so important for us to dig deep into the messages we hear.

This world sends so many false messages.

As I have matured in my walk with Christ, He has enabled me to get better at letting Him discern what I believe and how I control my responses. It is so important for us to read and study His word daily so that we are not controlled by our flesh.

We can make time for what we deem important, and even fifteen minutes of study will increase our desire to know and follow where God calls. As we make His word a priority, we establish Him as a priority.

Life can be so difficult and confusing. The only anchor we have is Jesus.

Our responses, desires, and attitude, as well as actions are all a direct result from the time we spend with Him.

We have to know our beliefs in order to live them. Our Savior must be alive inside of us in order for us to reflect Him.

Things are not always what they appear to be. Words are not always defined by our interpretation.

Let Jesus be the One to guide and influence what you prioritize, believe, and how you respond. He alone will keep us from being deceived in this world full of lies.


bottom of page