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Welcome to my podcast, Live With Eternal Perspective, I'm Terri Hitt. This podcast is for women who want to learn more about how to raise godly children and deepen their walk with the Lord. EPISODE TRANSCRIPTIONS Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 153 - Change From a Good to Godly Woman and Mother Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 146 - Praying Scripture - Part 1 replay Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 145 - How to Know Truth in a Mixed-Up World of Pride Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 144 - Life Lessons Through my Dog Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 143 - Prayer (replay) Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 142 - How Do My Actions Reflect God to Others? Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 141 - Why Should I Seek Jesus Early in the Morning? Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 140 - How to Identify False Teachers Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 139 - Are You Really a Christian? Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 138 - Christ, The Master Builder Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 137 - Renewing Inwardly Through Christ Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 136 - How to Thrive as a Christian in a World of Unbelievers Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 135 - May It Be As You Desire, God Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 134 - You've Trusted God with Eternity - What About Today? Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 133 - The Power of Your Story Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 132 - Am I Hearing You God? Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 131 - An Eternal Perspective Life Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 130 - Practicing Gratitude While Life Happens Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 129 - Don't Let Lies Keep You From Living in the Fullness of Christ Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 128 - Living to Flourish through Christ Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 127 - Living Fully in the Moment Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 126 - Developing a Humble Attitude Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 125 - Willing Steward Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 124 - Solace in Silence Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 123 - Engaged With Eternity Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 122 - Trials and Tragedies Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 121 Facets of Faith Reading of Hebrews 11 Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 120 - What the Lord Requires Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 119 - Conquer Overwhelm Read Now Live With Eternal Perspective Podcast Episode 118 - Biblical Friendship and Connection Read Now

Sometimes we each need someone to reach out, place an arm around our shoulder, and lead us to a resource that meets us where we are. On this page you will find materials mentioned in the podcast, and other helpful resources created to deepen your personal walk with God, designed to help you choose Christ over culture, and parent with godly confidence and connection. RESOURCES Subscribe to get exclusive updates Email* Join Our Mailing List I want to subscribe to your mailing list. Sometimes we each need someone to reach out, place an arm around our shoulder, & lead us to a resource that meets us where we are. I hope you find that embrace here. On this page you will find materials mentioned in the podcast, & other helpful resources created to deepen your personal walk with God, help you choose Christ over culture, & parent with confidence & connection. When you select “download now,” you'll be asked to sign up as a member of my email list. It doesn't have to be a long commitment; you can unsubscribe at any time. Once you've signed up, you'll have access to all current and future free resources. The goal of my heart is to continue sharing resources that reveal the joy of living with your eyes & heart focused on eternity and help you choose Christ over culture with a purpose that allows you to live & parent with confidence & connection. GOOD to GODLY: A 31-DAY SCRIPTURE & PRAYER GUIDE FOR MOMS I invite you to begin this 31-Day Scripture study designed to equip your mind and heart to shift from being a good mother to become a godly mother. The Scriptures included in this guide are shared for the purpose of drawing you closer to Christ. Discover How Your Identity is Sabotaging Your Children Do you ever get frustrated, angered, or hurt by the behaviors of your children? Is busyness reflected in your relationships and reactions? You may have unknowingly built identity on self, rather than Savior. The way you build identity will likely be passed to your children. Remember, little eyes and ears know your identity is exposed through all you do and say; how you act and react. This resource is a sample of my Set Apart Collective program for mothers who desire to parent with eternity in mind. When you discover how identity in Christ equips you to be the set-apart mother God created you to be, you'll be equipped to teach your children to be set-apart in Christ with identity built on Truth. HELP YOUR CHILD DEVELOP (GODLY) CONFIDENCE We live in a world that tells your child to trust feelings to define who they are, but God's Word instructs differently. How to Help Your Child Develop (Godly) Confidence will give you tips and Scripture to equip you to build confidence that will last and strengthen your child (and yourself) through identity in Christ. PRAYERS FOR MY CHILD Would you like to experience the power of God's word in the life of your child? Download the "Prayers for My Child" resource to learn how to offer God's word to Him as prayers designed to transform the heart of your child or grandchild into the wise and loving hands of our Heavenly Father.

< Back Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 098 - The Holy Role of Parental Authority - Who Sets the Guidelines in Your Home Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 098 – The Holy Role of Parental Authority - Who Sets the Guidelines in Your Home? Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast deepens your walk with Jesus and your children, and equips you to become a set-apart woman raising children to chase Christ over culture. When we brought our youngest daughter home from China, she was nine years old. For most of her time in the orphanage, she was isolated from speaking to or eating with others. This was because they kept her in a smaller than American porta-crib in what was called, “the crib room.” During this time, she was also harboring ear infections that deteriorated her congenitally small bones and nerves. Because a urine bacteria microbe festered untreated for nine years in her ears (on top of other health issues), we’ve been told more than once what a miracle it is that she is still alive. Sadly, this is only a small portion of her story. It's said that the most difficult language to learn is Mandarin Chinese because of the linguistics, complex characters, and tones used. Our precious daughter was not exposed to enough Mandarin or any language to learn it. When she came to the United States, she had several medical issues that needed to be taken care of as quickly as possible, and one of them was her ear infections. After finding out which antibiotic to use from the Mayo Clinic, we ere able to finally rid her body of bacteria that had festered for years on top on oral infections and a severe heart condition. Again, she truly is a miracle. Once she had ear reconstructive surgery, she was able to hear better, but then after receiving hearing aids, her ability to hear and produce speech was much improved. She still doesn’t have wonderful hearing, but I am amazed at how much she was able to learn by sheer perseverance and the blessings of God, good medical care, and technology. Her favorite period of history is pioneer times, but I’m thankful that she lives now - in the 21stcentury, so she can receive the medical care she needs. Why do I share this bit of her medical history? I believe it’s interesting because of the amount of words in our English language. Can you imagine suddenly being immersed in another language? Whether it be English or Mandarin, not many of us have been forced to move out of the only environment we know and fully jump into another culture and language. The amount of words, slang, sentence structure, punctuation, and all that goes into communication would make that jump overwhelming for most of us. It is reported that there are approximately 170,000 English words currently in use with around 47,000 obsolete words. That’s so many, yet I still thought there were much more. However, it is noted that there are around 600,000 definitions published in the Oxford English Dictionary. I’m sure that includes more words no longer in use or perhaps even slang that wasn’t included in the “real word” count. As you may know from listening to this podcast, I love to look at definitions. One I want to share today is simple, but interesting and powerful. It’s the meaning of the word authority. “The English definition is, “a power or right delegated or given; or authorization.” Remember that definition. Now here’s where I think this gets more interesting. There are two words used in modern Hebrew for the word “authority .” First, let me remind you that I’m not an expert in Hebrew, so my pronunciation may be awful, but please forgive that and focus on the meanings I’m sharing. Both Hebrew words are said to have originated from the Bible. Sahm-khoot is used more commonly and means, “placement .” Lees-mohkh means to “rely upon .” Let’s review. We have the English definition of authority meaning “a power or right delegated or given .” We also have the Hebrew word meaning, “placement .” The other Hebrew meaning is, “rely upon .” Why do I find these words so intriguing? When you think of parenting, remember God purposed the children you have to you for this very season . The maker of heaven and earth and all people chose you and issued authority to you over His children . Deuteronomy 11:18-20 says, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates .” As you ponder the various meanings of authority in English and Hebrew, you see God’s intentionality. Your Heavenly Father delegated His precious children to you . He placed them in your care, giving you the power and rights to raise them to know and love Him . He relies upon you to do so, and in return those children rely upon you to make godly, loving choices as they rest in your care. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it .” As you think of the power and privilege God has bestowed upon you to parent His children, consider these four questions: 1. Do you set the expectations and rules in your home or does God? 2. What influences do you allow to affect your children? 3. Are you following worldly values? 4. What guidelines are you using to evaluate your answers? Let’s start with the first question. Do you set the expectations and rules in your home or does God ? As you evaluate your home, meaning your lifestyle, personal desires, and choices think about what is currently happening. Think about what is going on in your personal life and the life of your home. How would God view those events and innermost thoughts? Think about the way you live, the activities you pursue, and the words you use. Do they honor God? Or do you and your family members cause God to mourn as He watches your daily activities? Is God the one in charge of what transpires in your home ? Or are you and your family furiously moving from activity to event that you barely have time to talk to each other, let alone make time to know God intimately? Do you and your husband purposely teach your children to seek God first? Does your family know God’s desires and the way He would guide you to live and act because you study His Word together? Do you or your husband impose rules on your children because of expectations set on you as children? Or are you seeking God first and asking Him to parent through you? Are you praying for God to reveal the purposes He set in your children so you can teach them God’s Truths and help them find His purposes for their lives? Questions two and three go well together, so we’ll consider both of them now: What influences do you allow to affect your children? Are you following worldly or biblical values? As you continue to evaluate your home life and the people God has purposed as your family, can you see what influences are attracting and affecting your family? Are you aware of them in day to day life? Or are you neglecting to safeguard your children from the cultural and societal effects of this world? Do your children set family expectations because you’re lenient in monitoring devices and activities? Or do you or your spouse find inspiration and direction from God’s Word and set godly authority in your home? Are you ignorantly chasing the world’s standards to dictate your parenting style? Or do you proactively learn about shifting trends and potential dangers so you don’t let them into your home? Proverb 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. ” Now, our last question: What guideline are you using to evaluate your answers? Do you understand the difference between godly values and those of the world? Do you think the phrase “of this world ” is outdated? Do you strive to continue studying God’s Word so His Truths are foremost in your mind with your relations and in your communication with your spouse and children? Does God’s Word set the standard for how you discipline and raise your children? Do His truths build the behaviors and actions between you and your spouse? 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work .” Is the Bible your source of Truth and direction? Is God’s holy Word what you rely on for protection and provision as you seek and follow His ways and truths? Do you teach them to your children? I know these are a lot of questions. They all stem from the four I originally asked. But each is so important for digging deep to evaluate where your heart and mind reside. Make time to consider your answers. Learn where you need to work and ask the Holy Spirit to do a good work in you and your spouse. You may want to look at the transcript of this episode after listening so you can read the questions again. Allow yourself time with God so you will hear Him speak to areas He may be calling you to release to Him. If you find places where He is speaking in your heart, be thankful, not ashamed. Know that God forgives a repentant heart and desires to cradle you in His capable arms and keep you and your precious family in alignment with His will and purposes for you. It is then that you will experience true freedom and joy that will last into eternity. Dear God, You alone are the Good Father. We thank you for Your everlasting love. Thank you for generously offering us all we need to live lives that reflect You and carry great purpose and love. Please help us to establish Your guidelines of Holy Authority in our home. May we seek You first in all things, especially our personal lives so that we inhale and exhale You to our children and spouse. Please cause us to be aware of the subtle ways we neglect You. Help us recognize the times we fail to seize opportunities you have given us to deepen our walk with You or lead our children to Your arms. Equip us to stand in bold declaration that we will make time for You regularly and help us do it. Help our lives match what our lips profess and help our children to be even closer to You because we are purposeful in leading them to the feet of Jesus. It is in His precious name we pray. Amen. Raising children is challenging. No one has all the answers because each child is unique as are parenting styles and family dynamics. By connecting with and knowing your children as you maintain purposed growth in Christ, you will be better prepared for any situation you face. That’s why you hear me share about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast. I work with professionals who care about making Jesus known to their children. Are you a high-achieving woman who loves Jesus, but is so busy with the rush of work and daily life that you feel like you’re being drained like the water in your bathtub? Do you yearn to get closer to Jesus and show Him to your kids so you will create a love that will last into eternity? The desire is there, but your days spiral out of control before you even think about opening your Bible. Do you ever stop to think that you are the first Jesus your child will see? Let me remind you there is hope. There is a way you can be equipped to raise kids who chase Christ over culture. If you want a connected relationship with Christ and your children that leads them to your side and His feet, instead of them seeking validation from peers, I have an 8-step program to move you from frustrated to fulfilled. I will show you how to reflect Jesus in a way that attracts your family to a connected relationship that lasts into eternity. Remember, godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset you carry. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will arm you with a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You’ll also deepen your identity in Christ so you can mentor the way for your children to do the same. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family and you will have the tools to raise set apart kids as you parent the heart, not simply the behavior. Does this sound like a lifeline to help you be that set-apart mom God has entrusted you to be? Visit terrihitt.com/coaching and click the link for a free, no obligation conversation call with me. This is a strategic call where I will hear your biggest struggle and show you how to turn it into a blessing that will bring you closer to Christ and your children. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make yours matter for eternity. One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ. Previous Next

Sunday mornings carry BIG goals. Sometimes making across the threshold of the church entrance feels like a miracle. Before you get there, you've juggled breakfast spills, found lost shoes, and handled a meltdown at home or a nasty attitude on the way. When you finally slide into the pew—breathless, heart racing—you think, "We made it. This has to count for something." And it does. God sees your effort. But going to church isn’t enough to raise godly kids. And isn't that the central goal? But the truth is, your children need to hear about Jesus more than once a week. Christ needs to be the fabric that is woven through the lowest moments and highest days. They need to see Him every day—in you. The Church isn't Enough to Accomplish What You Were Called to Do Church is a privilege, but church isn't enough. Going to church is a beautiful gift. In fact, fellowship with believers strengthens, teaches, and reminds you you're not alone. But church was never meant to take your place in your children’s spiritual formation. Remember, God chose you to be the one to whisper His truths in the quiet moments, to live them out when little eyes are watching. He entrusted you to be His voice of Truth for them in an ungodly world. You're a walking testimony. Do you highlight the world - or His grace, love, and truth - inside your home? Deuteronomy 6:5–7 tells us, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” This passage commands that the most memorable sermons your children hear won't come from the pulpit—they'll be what is absorbed in your home...at your kitchen table, in your bedtime prayers, and in your godly guidance daily. Every moment influences the children entrusted to your care as they witness the way you mentor Christ in your desires, words, and reactions day after day after day. Year after year. You Can’t Exhale What You Haven’t Inhaled Let's face it. No one said motherhood would be easy. And it's not that you expect it to be, but you’re tired. You long for Jesus, but noise, expectations, and and busyness drown Him out. You want to open your Bible, but guilt whispers that it’s too late, that you’ve already fallen behind. But please stop - listen - God's not disappointed in you. He patiently loves you with an everlasting love that continues to invite you. The Father isn't asking for perfect quiet time or color-coded journals. He wants your presence. God calls you to look Up. To breathe Him in. To abide in His arms. You can’t pour out what you haven’t received. You can’t exhale grace if you haven’t inhaled Him. You can't feel - or offer - peace if you haven’t abided in His presence. When you inhale Christ - when you let His Words and truths settle in your heart - His love will naturally overflow into your children’s lives. Your words will soften. Your patience will grow. Your home will start to reflect His peace instead of your pressure. Release Guilt and Perfection Remember - God doesn't expect perfection. Only the Great I Am is perfect. You don’t have to be a perfect mom to raise godly kids. You just need to be a surrendered woman. A surrendered mom. Your kids don’t need you to get it all right—they need to see you get real. Committed to your belief in Christ. As they watch you confess, repent, forgive, and start again, they learn what walking with Jesus truly looks like. Perfection doesn't draw your kids closer to God—persistence does. You are Raising God’s Children Sometimes, in the chaos, it’s easy to forget the sacredness of your calling. But God didn’t just give you children—He entrusted you with souls. Eternal, precious souls that belong to Him. You're not just a mother. You're a missionary appointed inside your home. Every prayer you lift for your children, every time you pray with and over them in their presence, every connection with eye contact and a voice of direction that leads them to His truths, each time you say, “Let’s ask Jesus,”—those are holy moments. You’re planting seeds that will last for generations. Yearn for Something Deeper So You Have Him to Give If your heart feels dry, don’t settle for survival. Return to His presence. Respond to the cry deep within you that thirsts for Jesus more than for a quiet moment alone or a completed to-do list. You may not know the tug is from Him, but when you answer the call with a heart willing to repent, to be filled with truth, light, and grace, you'll recognize His Spirit. You'll begin to see that when your heart is full of Him, your children taste His glory through you. When you inhale Christ, you’ll exhale His love, patience, and joy—right into the lives of the little ones who call you “Mom.” You'll see your kids do the same to those around them. You'll understand that you're bearing fruit for eternity. A Prayer for the Weary Mom Yearning for More Dear Heavenly Father, the Great I Am in my presence. Thank you for Your everlasting love, Your holiness that waits to cover me. Please remind me that I'm not just raising children—I’m shaping souls entrusted to me - for Your kingdom. Quiet my thoughts as You hush the voice of perfectionism. Help me release my agenda and pray for Yours. Cause me to desire You more than I crave control or worldly approval. Fill me with Your presence so that my children see Jesus in every aspect of me. Let every breath I inhale be You—and every breath exhaled release me so I become the Christlike mother you intend me to be. Help me cause change in my family that lasts for generations because I inhale and exhale You with every breath, desire, word, and action. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

When I became a parent at the age of eighteen, I had never held, fed, or diapered a newborn. Everything I knew about parenting came from babysitting my younger siblings. Of course, I also considered how my parents had raised me, but we had a lot of times left alone as children, and I was determined to change what I didn't like. That also left me free to incorporate what I did appreciate. Because of my inexperience, I respected authorities in the parenting space at the time I became a mother. Whether that figure came in the form of doctor, magazine article or book I read, or simply through speaking with and observing other parents, at my young age, I respected voices that seemed to carry wisdom, as well as established older mothers. I believed they must know what they were talking about simply because they were experienced. When my husband and I raised our first set of children we disciplined them as we had been punished as kids. When the need was there, we spanked. However, years later, when my husband and I knew God was calling us to bring home our sweet baby girl in China, we considered what God would consider the correct way to raise and discipline the precious child He was gifting to us. By this time, we had matured our walk with God through a deeper relationship with Christ. As we considered how we parented our first set of children, we also considered whether our techniques reflected God or followed societal expectations. One of the things we reconsidered was our method of discipline. Checking our Thoughts About Spanking Did you know that the word discipline actually means "training to act in accordance with rules?" After we parented our first set of children, we could see that the way we'd corrected behavior in our previous set of children had largely been to train them to follow rules. But those rules were the way we expected them to behave according to expectations of society. We wanted them to grow up to be kind, successful, loving rule followers who did what was expected. As we prepared to begin our second journey of parenthood a generation later when we brought our baby home, we realized we had parented the first time more from a worldly viewpoint, rather than drilling down to discover exactly how God desired us to parent through His Word. We were young and ignorant, although we were always told that we carried such wisdom for our age. Instead of seeking insight from God's Word, studying the mistakes and successes of biblical characters, and praying for God's constant direction with each of our first two children, we unknowingly gave higher priority to the "experts" of this world rather than God's Word. Because we were adopting a baby who would already be ten months old when she came to us, we made sure to study and learn much about adoption parenting, which included building strong connection. Learning these techniques made such sense to me. In fact, this parenting style seemed to be the best way to build strong attachment with any child, not just one who came from challenging places. Checking the World's View on Spanking As my mindset shifted from a "typical" foundation of parenting, I deeply desired to be a mother who was pleasing to God first, and who built strong attachment with my child that would lead her to strong connection with Christ. I recalled that the word discipline actually means "training to act in accordance with rules" and realized the key was in training kids to follow God's rules instead of the world's expectations. Finding the way to guide the heart of my baby daughter and connecting deeper with my older children would come through viewing discipline not as punishment, but as discipleship for Him. What do I mean by discipline as discipleship, not punishment? I'll share a story that will highlight my explanation. I was on a neighborhood walk recently when a loose dog was crisscrossing the street and a screech of brakes alerted me that it was almost hit. Terrified by the sound and the loud voice of the driver, the dog stood frozen in front of the car. When the owner heard the commotion and saw his dog standing in the roadway, he lovingly called from his yard for the dog to come to him. Seeing his beloved, trusted master and hearing his sweet call, the dog quickly ran home, expecting safety. Instead, as soon as the dog reached him, the owner beat his dog and yelled at him for being in the street. Will this act change the behavior of the dog? You may argue that a dog and a child can’t be compared as they don’t reason the same. However, according to developmental tests reported by NBC News, even the average dog has the abilities of a toddler. In some areas, dogs are even more intelligent than preschoolers. Speaking of preschoolers, according to a study by the American Psychological Association, they’re the most likely group to be spanked. I don’t want to make this post to come across as shaming, but I do want parents to realize the gravity of the gift we’ve been given. We are raising children for the Great I Am. Parents Wonder, "Is Spanking Biblical?" We want to be good parents. Of course we want to do our best. But remember, our best falls far below the standard of our holy Heavenly Father. That’s why we must, as those entrusted to parent for God, stop and evaluate the reasoning behind why we make specific decisions and why we take certain actions to discipline or disciple. Why do some parents choose to spank instead of correcting their children in another way? What do we think we’re teaching our children when we respond with such forceful correction? Should spanking be the first act a parent takes when a child needs correcting? Are parents behaving biblically when they spank? Or are they succumbing to frustration? What prompts a parent to grab the belt, hair brush, or forcefully use their hand in an effort to teach their child? Most parents who spank were spanked as children. It’s the way they were raised, so it’s what they remember and revert to. But does that mean it is the best method for training God’s children in righteousness? Is spanking the choice we should make to build connection with God and us? Many parents also share that the reason they spank is to cause pain that changes the behavior of their child. We have to consider what type of changes pain will bring. Surprisingly, research also indicates that parents will hit their child more frequently when they are an active or strong-willed boy between the ages of three to four. When you hear that statistic, how does it make you feel? Does the fact that boys disrupt quiet or make messes make them targets for spanking? Does spanking make them better men when they grow up? Or will a relationship built through teaching and connection make the necessity to spank disappear? The answers to these questions are what parents should seek before deciding to spank. Frequency of spanking also varies based on parental or child age, race, gender, education, or socio economic status of the family. The topic of spanking is a divisive one. Most people have feelings one way or another. As I shared earlier, those feelings often stem from the way parents were disciplined as a child. Checking God's Word on Spanking One Bible verse is often quoted as evidence to back pro-spanking parents. Proverbs 13:24 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” If we look at the verse with an observant, knowledgeable heart and take our thoughts captive for Christ to prayerfully seek God’s wisdom in this area, we may come to a different conclusion about spanking. For example, Strong’s Lexicon, a type of concordance, teaches that the rod was generally a stick used by shepherds for protecting and guiding their flocks. Shepherds used the rod to steer the sheep in the right direction, or to keep them gathered when they strayed. The rod was also used to fend off predators or warn and comfort the sheep. Used these ways, the rod isn’t a tool for inflicting injury. Instead, it is a tool for loving, protective guidance. When many parents hear the word discipline, they imagine spanking or another form of punishment. However in biblical days the meaning was quite different. In the semitic root, the word rod refers to a type of measuring stick. In the same way we use a yardstick today, the rod was used to measure distances to danger or to measure the growth of sheep in the shepherd’s care. The rod was not intended to inflict pain upon people or sheep. The word rod is also used for scepter. Although the verse from Proverbs 13:24 is usually interpreted as a directive to spank children, when we consider how a scepter was used, we understand that it could be used to extend grace and mercy or death by the King. Since the king wouldn’t speak much or at all to his subjects, he would often make his intentions or directives known by his scepter, the recognized symbol of authority. Whether it was the king or an appointed servant using the scepter, it was understood that the instrument held authority. So as we read Proverbs 13:24 we can see that the rod is seen as the idea of authority, not a literal rod. If you also consider that it was Solomon who penned the verse in Proverbs, you must remember that he was a king. His terminology would have been written with the mindset of one who used the scepter for the purposes I just shared. As king, Solomon was an authority figure to many, but remember, he was also a father, or symbol of authority to his children. Using this frame of thinking, we can reason that Solomon wasn’t condoning beating children, but instead encouraged using the rod, which would be showing love or direction. So, when parents extend the rod, we are paying attention to what our children are doing. We are considering the current situation, as well as looking forward to the future. We are choosing to extend mercy by correcting the behavior, not simply punishing. Checking the Heart Regarding Spanking Dealing with a situation we need to address doesn’t mean to beat or spank. But it doesn’t mean to ignore the actions of our children, either. Just as God extends mercy and forgiveness to us when we are disobedient, He also allows us to suffer consequences. Consequences will differ depending on the act and repercussions, but God doesn’t desire that we beat down children mentally, emotionally, or physically. His discipline is always designed to reach and transform our heart for Him. Just as we should intentionally strive to do with the children He entrusted to our care. Correcting with our children means instructing and guiding in ways that lead to Christlikeness and connection through heart change. Remember, lack of discipline can cause destructive or ungodly morals and behavior. So does the wrong kind of discipline. Discipline offered in anger can destroy connection and confidence in the parent, then ultimately in Christ. Spanking doesn’t show loving discipline that exhibits clear connection between the action of the child and the consequence. Spanking is often done in anger or bitterness, frustration or embarrassment, or even because of a feeling of disrespect. Spanking often resembles beating and can inflict injury, but doesn’t reach the heart of the child. Also, parents often spank in the heat of the moment and can accidentally abuse their child. Since spanking isn’t tied to natural consequences of the behavior, it has often been shown to increase aggressiveness in children. Instead of resorting to spanking quickly, pay attention to the times your child is misbehaving. Could it be when you’re very distracted or busy and your child is trying to get your attention? Is your child misbehaving because he is tired or hungry? Look for the root cause and discipline to bring about godly discipleship. Remember, discipline should be loving guidance and correction that disciples the heart, not a form of punishment. Discipline comes in many forms. Children are unique. There is no “one size meets all requirements” approach. But I do believe every parent should see the word discipline as discipleship to keep them accountable to building relationship and connection between their child and God. All godly correction should allow children to grow up with closer connection to Christ and family, and a joy-filled life with respect for their Heavenly Father and society. Discipline should be a step that builds transformation of the heart of your child. Checking God's Will Regarding Spanking If a parent still intends to spank, I don't recommend it as a first form of correction. Just as I said earlier, children are unique on purpose. Just as God reaches each of us in different ways over time, parents must find what form of discipline works for each child. Be careful not to use a strong-willed child as an excuse to spank. Find ways to craft that strong will into a strong heart for godliness and with connection for Christ. Your child’s will must be guided, not squashed into rebellion. Alternate means of correction might be: loss of privileges, time out, time in, stern looks, hand signals, a hushed voice, work, or redirection of behavior. Use your situation to find natural consequences for teaching your children, but always remain mindful of the objective of stepping them closer to God and changing their heart for Him through the form of correction you choose. When a child misbehaves or disobeys, it’s important to locate the root cause in order to reach their heart for change. Remember, discipline should be correction and training toward discipleship, not punishment. Discipline should be designed as an instrument that assists in correcting behavior and facilitating heart change. Spanking doesn’t get to the core of what needs correcting. Correcting behavior (which stems from the heart of your child) allows you to draw your child’s heart nearer to Christ. Addressing heart issues moves the child closer to transformation, both in the heart and in the behavior that stems from it. Spanking punishes, but doesn’t change the heart, except perhaps planting bitterness that can place a wedge between parent and child, or more importantly, between Christ and child. Proverbs 9:10 which says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Apart from the Lord we don’t have wisdom or understanding. Both are needed as you prayerfully determine whether God calls you to spank His children. Remember, that in order to change behavior, children should also see that their parents acknowledge their own personal sins. They need to understand that Mom and Dad repent to God. Then they understand that correction is a lifelong process for both children and adults. They begin to understand that we all need behavior that is fitting to the Lord. Everyone needs to honor God and submit to Him so we develop obedience and closer relationship with Him. Consider this thought - spanking doesn’t teach children to obey the parent or obey God out of love, trust, or obedience. We know that God’s grace and mercy should be the motivator used to discipline children. Discipline should be intended to draw the heart and mind of children nearer to the heart and mind of God. Using discipleship as discipline is the way to reach the heart. God’s Word teaches, corrects, trains, equips, and forgives. Your method of correcting should do the same, while building a foundation for your children to desire God’s Word and ways. Make sure you and your spouse are prayerfully aligned, so you’ll follow how God instructs you to discipline to disciple His children. Together, under God's direction, you will discern whether spanking is biblical.

Recently, several women have asked me the same question: “How am I supposed to actually weave Jesus into everyday life?” That question matters. Because it reveals something deeper many women are feeling, but may not always speak out loud. Christian women love Jesus. We want our children to love Him, too. But if we’re honest, there are days when our homes don’t consistently reflect Him the way we hoped they would. You can see it: In the attitudes of your children or grandchildren In what captures their attention In the way they speak or treat one another And it leads you to an important question: Is the heart of Jesus really being formed in my home? If that’s where you are, there's a common reason. When Jesus Becomes a Side Course Instead of the Center It doesn’t happen all at once. It happens slowly. Unintentionally. Jesus moves from the center of your life, to a place you visit when you have time. Christ becomes something you reach for later, instead of the One you abide with. Another way to say it: Jesus is being served like a side course. But Scripture shows us a different way. Deuteronomy 6:5–7 calls us into a lifestyle where faith is not confined to a moment: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise..” Weaving Jesus into the everyday isn't about adding more "spiritual" tasks to your day. It is about forming a life where Christ is at the center, so He naturally becomes part of everything you already do. What It Really Means to Weave Jesus Into Everyday Life To weave Jesus into everyday life shouldn't be complicated. But it's meant to be an intentional practice that begins by placing Him back at the center of your heart - so He abides in the center of your home. 3 Basic Mindset Shifts You Can Begin Today 1. Begin your day with dependence on Him, not your design Before you reach for your to-do list…before the noise of the day begins… Pause. Pray. Prepare your heart for what He desires, not just what you have planned. Awaken with Him on your mind and lips. Speak with Him as your day begins - and as it ends. And let your children see it. Hear about it. Whether they are little, grown, or somewhere in between, they are still learning from your life. When you share simple moments: “I asked God to guide my day today, and look how He worked that out,” you're showing them what it means to walk with Him. 2. Turn daily moments into discipleship Faith is not meant to live inside structured time alone. It is formed in the middle of real life. As life unfolds, bring Jesus into it: “Did you notice how God lined that up for us today?” “I love how God designed this season. Everything blooms right on time.” “Just like nature has seasons, so do we. God knows the right timing for everything.” These moments matter more than you realize. Even if they don't appear to be, your kids are paying attention. You're not just teaching information. You are training hearts to recognize Him. 3. End the day gathered in gratitude Before the day closes, return your attention to God. Gather together when you can. If not everyone is available, begin with those who are. Make it a habit. Create simple, consistent questions that prepare hearts for prayer: “What are you thankful for today?” “Where did you see God move?” “What are you still trusting Him to work out?” Gratitude reshapes perspective. It teaches your family to look for God’s presence instead of focusing on what feels missing. A Worshipful Life Is Formed in the Everyday These are just a few ways to begin. A worshipful lifestyle is not built in one moment, but formed through repeated, intentional choices to bring Christ into what you’re already doing. And here is what matters most: Your children will not follow a faith they only hear about. They will follow the Jesus they see you live and breathe. If Your Heart Feels Unsettled, Pay Attention If you’ve been doing everything you know to do, yet still feel unsettled about the spiritual direction of your home…There is a reason. You may be building with intention, but without a Christ-centered foundation guiding every part of your life. And that is something you can begin changing today. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone There are many more ways to weave Christ into your everyday life, ways that deepen your walk with Him and strengthen dependence on Jesus in your home. If you want guidance in this area, whether through group discipleship or personal mentorship, I'd be honored to walk with you. Reach out and share where you need support. Because my calling is simple: To help you deepen and widen your walk with Christ so you can live for Him, lead through Him, and guide others back to Him. You were entrusted with influence on purpose. Let’s make sure it points to Jesus.