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As a mother appointed by God, you have the sacred privilege of leading the children entrusted to you to find an important answer. A sacred truth. Who they are. You know the answer to building identity rooted in Christ isn't found in the shifting voices of the world, but in the unchanging truth of who they are in Christ. How do you ensure you guide them to that important truth? Performance or Popularity? As your children grow, they'll reach for pieces of identity everywhere they look. They notice how others dress, what they achieve, who’s accepted, and who’s left out. They start collecting clues about what they must do in order to become who they want to be. Some of their ideas and desires seem good, some confusing, while many slowly pull them away from truth. Kids don’t realize that while the world is directing them to find themselves,  God invites them to know Himself.  It’s imperative that you ensure your kids know who He  is, so they begin to understand Whose  they are. As an adult, you know that discovery doesn’t come through performance or popularity. The truth of who they are comes through relationship with Christ, through God’s truth, and through your steady guidance and prayers. The petitions of a mom whose own heart is anchored in Christ. The BIG Question Every person eventually asks, “Who am I?”  That question may not come in words, but it will definitely show up in actions. Or it could be in choices, friendships, or frustrations. For moms, this question can be both beautiful and heartbreaking to witness when see our children wrestle with this question. When you see your precious children trying on new versions of themselves, wanting to fit in, wanting to be noticed, wanting to belong, you don't want them being pulled by voices that promise confidence but often deliver confusion. But here’s what I want you to remember: your child’s search for identity isn’t something to fear—it’s something to shepherd. The Maker of Heaven and earth, the creator of your children designed them with creativity. He gave them minds them to seek, to wonder. God created them with a longing to understand who they are and why they’re here. As moms, we know that their desire, when guided by truth, can lead them straight to Him . Ephesians 2:10 says, “ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” That verse offers comfort. But even more important, it’s a statement – a truth - about identity. It’s God declaring over your child: You belong. You are known. You are Mine. When your kids grasp the truth that they already belong, they’re loved with an everlasting love, and they were created with purpose for a purpose, they learn to stop chasing temporary labels of identity and start claiming eternal purpose. Finding the Answer to Building Identity Rooted in Christ Remember, as your children wrestle with who they are, you’ve been bestowed with the most sacred role a mother can carry—mentoring godliness and guiding your children to the feet of Jesus. The world tells you your job is to shape behavior. Or manage the outcomes of their behavior. To grow your kids to self-reliant adulthood. But God commands you to nurture hearts that hear His voice. That obey . That honor and please Him. You’ve probably discovered that motherly influence isn’t found in perfect lectures or polished parenting moments. It’s found in the quiet, consistent ways you show Christ at home. It’s seen in the way you respond when you’re tired, when your kids push your limits, or when their choices break your heart. Your influence is established in the desires you carry, the words you use, and the way you spend your time. Your actions and responses teach the children entrusted to you who God is - and how He loves. But, despite that truth, I want you to remember something important. You don’t to be perfect to lead well. Relax. You ’ll never reach that level of parenthood. You’re an imperfect woman in an imperfect world. But your humility will speak louder than your strength. Because it's rooted in Him. His strength. Your words and actions will be laid on the foundation of who you are in Christ. Your heart for Jesus is made apparent even when you feel you failed. It’s in the way you handle mistakes, the way you invite your children into your space, the way you listen, the way you meet their gaze with joy and love. When you admit mistakes and model repentance, your children begin to understand what grace looks like. As you consistently pursue Christ, they see your dedication in His Word, the way you model integrity, and the love you carry for Him. They hear and feel it in the way you respond to them as your life shines His. Deuteronomy 6:5–7 says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children… when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This passage of Scripture isn’t a formula—it’s an command to weave God’s truth into everyday life. To weave Him into every breath. To become His voice in an ungodly society attracting and influencing your children. So when your child asks, “Who am I?” your voice can affirm what God has already spoken: “You are His.” “You are chosen.” “You are deeply loved.” Be sure to come back for Part 2 of this post. In the meantime, if your heart is whispering, “I want to raise my children differently,” the Set-Apart Collective™ is where you’ll find the support and discipleship tools to support you. Join me inside the Set-Apart Collective™ where you'll discover how to raise kids to chase Christ over culture and influence generations for Christ.

Sunday mornings carry BIG goals. Sometimes making across the threshold of the church entrance feels like a miracle. Before you get there, you've juggled breakfast spills, found lost shoes, and handled a meltdown at home or a nasty attitude on the way. When you finally slide into the pew—breathless, heart racing—you think, " We made it. This has to count for something." And it does. God sees your effort. But going to church isn’t enough to raise godly kids. And isn't that the central goal ? But the truth is, your children need to hear about Jesus more than once a week. Christ needs to be the fabric that is woven through the lowest moments and highest days. They need to see  Him every day— in you. The Church isn't Enough to Accomplish What You Were Called to Do Church is a privilege, but church isn't enough. Going to church is a beautiful gift. In fact, fellowship with believers strengthens, teaches, and reminds you you're not alone. But church was never meant to take your place in your children’s spiritual formation. Remember, God chose you to be the one to whisper His truths in the quiet moments, to live them out when little eyes are watching. He entrusted you to be His voice of Truth for them in an ungodly world. You're a walking testimony. Do you highlight the world - or His grace, love, and truth - inside your home? Deuteronomy 6:5–7 tells us, “ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up .” This passage commands that the most memorable sermons your children hear won't come from the pulpit—they'll be what is absorbed in your home...at your kitchen table, in your bedtime prayers, and in your godly guidance daily. Every moment influences the children entrusted to your care as they witness the way you mentor Christ in your desires, words, and reactions day after day after day. Year after year. You Can’t Exhale What You Haven’t Inhaled Let's face it. No one said motherhood would be easy. And it's not that you expect it to be, but you’re tired . You long for Jesus, but noise, expectations, and and busyness drown Him out. You want to open your Bible, but guilt whispers that it’s too late, that you’ve already fallen behind. But please stop - listen - God's not disappointed in you. He patiently loves you with an everlasting love that continues to invite you. The Father isn't asking for perfect quiet time or color-coded journals. He wants your presence. God calls you to look Up. To breathe Him in. To abide in His arms. You can’t pour out what you haven’t received. You can’t exhale grace if you haven’t inhaled Him. You can't feel - or offer - peace if you haven’t abided in His presence. When you inhale Christ - when you let His Words and truths settle in your heart - His love will naturally overflow into your children’s lives. Your words will soften. Your patience will grow. Your home will start to reflect His peace instead of your pressure . Release Guilt and Perfection Remember - God doesn't expect perfection. Only the Great I Am is perfect . You don’t have to be a perfect mom to raise godly kids. You just need to be a surrendered woman. A surrendered mom. Your kids don’t need you to get it all right—they need to see you get real. Committed to your belief in Christ. As they watch you confess, repent, forgive, and start again, they learn what walking with Jesus truly looks like. Perfection doesn't draw your kids closer to God—persistence does. You are Raising God’s Children Sometimes, in the chaos, it’s easy to forget the sacredness of your calling. But God didn’t just give you children—He entrusted you with souls . Eternal, precious souls that belong to Him . You're not just a mother. You're a missionary appointed inside your home. Every prayer you lift for your children, every time you pray with and over them in their presence, every connection with eye contact and a voice of direction that leads them to His truths, each time you say, “Let’s ask Jesus,”—those are holy moments. You’re planting seeds that will last for generations. Yearn for Something Deeper So You Have Him to Give If your heart feels dry, don’t settle for survival. Return to His presence. Respond to the cry deep within you that thirsts for Jesus more than for a quiet moment alone or a completed to-do list. You may not know the tug is from Him, but when you answer the call with a heart willing to repent, to be filled with truth, light, and grace, you'll recognize His Spirit. You'll begin to see that when your heart is full of Him, your children taste His glory through you. When you inhale Christ, you’ll exhale His love, patience, and joy—right into the lives of the little ones who call you “Mom.” You'll see you kids do the same to those around them. You'll understand that you're bearing fruit for eternity. A Prayer for the Weary Mom Yearning for More Dear Heavenly Father, the Great I Am in my presence. Thank you for Your everlasting love, Your holiness that waits to cover me. Please remind me that I'm not just raising children—I’m shaping souls entrusted to me - for Your kingdom. Quiet my thoughts as You hush the voice of perfectionism. Help me release my agenda and pray for Yours. Cause me to desire You more than I crave control or worldly approval. Fill me with Your presence so that my children see Jesus in every aspect of me. Let every breath I inhale be You—and every breath exhaled release me so I become the Christlike mother you intend me to be. Help me cause change in my family that lasts for generations because I inhale and exhale You with every breath, desire, word, and action. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Every year when the late fall air turns crisper and evenings bring chills that call for more layers, a slight sadness creeps into my spirit. I’m the type who dresses warmly, even in the summer, and cooler temperatures prickle my skin with goosebumps that chill to the bone. Do you wonder how I ever make it through the winter? Trusting that it is only a season . As unpleasant as I believe the winter weather is, my faith reminds me that it will pass . Ecclesiastes 3 teaches that life produces seasons . Scripture crafts portraits of celebration and calamity. It is during those experiences that we come to understand how crossroads form depth of character not built in springtime periods . That blessed awareness only arrives if we invite God's hands to carry us through those seasons that interweave within our life. When we carry a faith that isn't seasonal. Parenting also carries seasons. In fact, most of my life has been intertwined with stages of a parenthood season. My husband and I married right out of high school. He was 18. I was 17. I think back to the girl I was and barely recognize her now. By the time I was 21 we had two children, a daughter and a son. By the time they were raised and finishing school, we were still in our thirties. Looking back, I know that we were good parents. Yet after the kids were grown, I thought back to the brief time we had with them (that seemed so long during the moments), and I wished that we had been godlier parents. It was easy to imagine ways I would change my parenting if I was able to spend specific moments with each of them again, drawing now from the wisdom God imparted to me as my walk with Him matured. Later, when my husband and I knew God was calling us to adopt from China when we were in our early forties, I understood why God had placed those desires to “rethink” our parenting in my heart. Have you faced times in your life when you knew God was giving you the opportunity to revisit a season of your life? Are you obedient to take the journey He calls you to, no matter the task? Do you ever try to bargain with God or try to delay obedience? Or are you ready to move at the sound of His voice? Has your obedience ever been seasonal? Many people we knew, some family included, were not supportive of our decision to adopt. People thought we were too old to start again. They told us our parenting season was complete, and we needed to focus on building a larger retirement fund. They had fears that if we traveled to China we might never return to the US. All sorts of excuses and fears were raised. It strengthened our resolve to seek God’s face and follow where He led. We understood that the logic of God is usually not that of the world. We had to keep our eyes, mind, and heart focused on what He was revealing. We chose to enter the season He had planned for us, and we began to walk in it, step by step . My husband and I didn't walk in seasonal faith, and we understood we had stepped into a season of obedience. Just as Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells us, there is a season and time for everything under heaven. Whether we are experiencing new birth, facing the death of a loved one, harvesting the fruits of parenting, or sowing the soil of our child’s heart, God is our guide and guard . Maybe you are in a season that would make it incredibly easy to crumble under the weight of burdens you cannot bear alone. He is gently wooing you, calling for your surrender. His hands are ready to take the load; His arms ready to carry you. Are you willing to allow God to construct faith that will last longer than your current season? Maybe this season is building you up for the next trial you will face. Perhaps it is your time to comfort another in the face of tragedy or triumph. Did you just enter a season of laughter? Or a time of tears? Life brings misunderstandings and mistakes, failures and freedom, times of learning lessons and loving others through lessons. Human frailties can cause a tearing away of relationships. They also offer a time of maturation in Him that may allow us to mend what needs repaired if we trust in and follow where He leads. Through His Word, we learn there is a time to speak and a time to refrain from speaking and how to know the difference as we depend on Him . There is a time for love and hate; a time for war and peace. This fallen world offers more than we can handle, but not more than we can face through His strength . What season are you currently facing? Are you trusting transformation through trials? Or is your faith cloaked in a coat fit for only this season? I believe God teaches us much about seasons in His Word and through the visualization of nature around us. His goodness, mercy, and compassion toward us are never-ending. If we have eyes to see and a heart to believe. Our Heavenly Father understands that we need constant reminders of His presence. We need to visually see God at work, learn patterns and consistencies to better help us remember He created it all. He is the Great I Am, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Our Heavenly Father knows how easily we strap unnecessary burdens onto our shoulders, allowing the weight to crush us before we ask Him to cradle us within His grasp. What are ways you can release the season you are in to Him? Parenting has been one of my greatest teachers, wooing me to the heart of our Father, allowing Him to grow and guide me to seek His wisdom and discernment. How easily I can fall into the pattern of seeking my own strength and understanding. It is only through constant study of His Word and remembrance of His faithfulness to His children through the Bible (and within my own life )that I am able to fix my gaze above. It is then that I eagerly await seasonal lessons allowed through His fatherly grace as I release my life to Him without succumbing to seasonal faith. Can you identify ways you are drawing nearer to God through this season in your life? What lesson would you share with others? How can you help them carry enduring faith to the next season they will face? Seasonal life changes have taught me that the greatest act of obedience I can offer the Lord is to make Him known to my children and to move forward in all things with prompt obedience . That means I must know Him . In order to mentor God in a righteous way that leads myself and my children to Him, I must seek Christ intimately . A strong relationship must be sought daily . In order to allow Christ to flow through me, my responses, my actions, reactions, and thought processes, He must be my priority daily. Christ must come before my husband, my children, and myself. I must seek the face of the One who knows me best and can discern my motives and adjust them as needed. Only then am I able to mentor Jesus well to the children God has entrusted to me. Every season has brought me to this place of understanding and given me the desire to know Him and show Him more. Coming seasons will do the same if I keep my gaze focused Upward and my heart attuned to the lessons taught through the sweet and sour times of life. He promises that seasons will pass in His perfect time. Just as the leaves now turn and fall to the ground, seasons of life are ending. New cycles of life are beginning. Will the ebb and flow of your breaths be in sync with seasons by seeking the face of God and trusting transformation through trials? Or will you choose to battle harsh winds and bitter chills alone? Let your faith stand every turn of the seasons and become a lasting legacy.

Joy filled his eyes as he rushed down the stairs to lay on my lap. Pressing in as close as he could get, he flopped his furry head against my chest and relaxed. Totally at peace, my Golden Retriever would have abided with me for hours. While I lovingly petted him, my thoughts were swirling with distraction..."I've got to get up now." "What do I need to begin next?" "Should I tackle this project first?" "Have I given my dog enough time?" Sitting with my dog reminded me of the way we often devote time to our Heavenly Father. How many times have you sat with the Father wondering how much longer the passage you were reading would last? Or maybe you wondered whether you've spent enough time in prayer. As my dog rejoiced in uninterrupted time with me, I thought of the way God patiently waits for us to release schedule and simply come rest in His presence. However, in our busyness, we often count the minutes until we can finish our time with Him. How Much Time Does God Expect The way we view our sovereign, holy God is different than what He deserves. Our scheduled days planned to the microsecond keep us at a pace that often leave no time for rest or solitude. Through the rush, we tend to think of God with a convenient one-size-fits-all mentality that makes us believe that we can "time in" and "time out" with Him, then continue our day with an "I've checked the box attitude" that leaves our spirit empty. Because we never fully commit to resting in His arms, we continue longing for the relationship our soul was crafted to crave, leaving emptiness where we could experience fullness with the One our heart desires. In His sovereign holiness God requires fellowship that deepens and matures our walk with Him. Deuteronomy 6:5-6 says, " You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart ." Just as my sweet dog seeks me out no matter where I go in the house because he longs for time with me, when we purposely pursue God through relationship with His Son, the fruits of the Spirit are evident as they nurture and provide for every need within. The Choice Is Mine (and yours) 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, " So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God ." My Golden retriever is simply content to rest in my presence. No matter the activity, if I include my dog in it, he remains by my side. In contrast, God is with us even when we don't include Him. While my dog nudges my hand with his head to gain my attention, God's voice is a whisper speaking to my spirit, showing me the Way, the Truth, and the Life, if only I heed His Word. Just as Scripture says in James 4:8a, " Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you, " our Father lovingly, patiently waits for us to seek Him. Unlike my dog, He is quietly present without forcing himself to be noticed. Yet, He calls for my spirit to receive Him. I find that the more time I spend in God's presence, reading His Word, praying, conversing, and listening, the more my desire to be with Him multiplies. I stop asking, "How much longer do I need to read?" I no longer think, "How much time should I spend with God?" Or "Maybe I'll read the Bible later. I've got to get this chore done first." I find joy in being with God and it causes me to want to be with Him longer. As I move toward nearer to God with intention moment by moment, I understand that He was already with me all along. Now, instead of walking behind or beside Him, I simply rest in His arms and allow Him to carry the load. The invitation stands for each of us.

When I became a parent at the age of eighteen, I had never held, fed, or diapered a newborn . Everything I knew about parenting came from babysitting my younger siblings. Of course, I also considered how my parents had raised me, but we had a lot of times left alone as children, and I was determined to change what I didn't like. That also left me free to incorporate what I did appreciate. Because of my inexperience, I respected authorities in the parenting space at the time I became a mother. Whether that figure came in the form of doctor, magazine article or book I read, or simply through speaking with and observing other parents, at my young age, I respected voices that seemed to carry wisdom, as well as established older mothers. I believed they must know what they were talking about simply because they were experienced. When my husband and I raised our first set of children we disciplined them as we had been punished as kids. When the need was there, we spanked. However, years later, when my husband and I knew God was calling us to bring home our sweet baby girl in China, we considered what God would consider the correct way to raise and discipline the precious child He was gifting to us. By this time, we had matured our walk with God through a deeper relationship with Christ. As we considered how we parented our first set of children, we also considered whether our techniques reflected God or followed societal expectations. One of the things we reconsidered was our method of discipline. Checking our Thoughts About Spanking Did you know that the word discipline actually means " training to act in accordance with rules? " After we parented our first set of children, we could see that the way we'd corrected behavior in our previous set of children had largely been to train them to follow rules. But those rules were the way we expected them to behave according to expectations of society . We wanted them to grow up to be kind, successful, loving rule followers who did what was expected. As we prepared to begin our second journey of parenthood a generation later when we brought our baby home, we realized we had parented the first time more from a worldly viewpoint, rather than drilling down to discover exactly how God desired us to parent through His Word . We were young and ignorant, although we were always told that we carried such wisdom for our age. Instead of seeking insight from God's Word, studying the mistakes and successes of biblical characters, and praying for God's constant direction with each of our first two children, we unknowingly gave higher priority to the "experts" of this world rather than God's Word. Because we were adopting a baby who would already be ten months old when she came to us, we made sure to study and learn much about adoption parenting, which included building strong connection. Learning these techniques made such sense to me. In fact, this parenting style seemed to be the best way to build strong attachment with any child, not just one who came from challenging places. Checking the World's View on Spanking As my mindset shifted from a "typical" foundation of parenting, I deeply desired to be a mother who was pleasing to God first, and who built strong attachment with my child that would lead her to strong connection with Christ . I recalled that the word discipline actually means " training to act in accordance with rules" and realized the key was in training kids to follow God's rules instead of the world's expectations. Finding the way to guide the heart of my baby daughter and connecting deeper with my older children would come through viewing discipline not as punishment, but as discipleship for Him . What do I mean by discipline as discipleship, not punishment ? I'll share a story that will highlight my explanation. I was on a neighborhood walk recently when a loose dog was crisscrossing the street and a screech of brakes alerted me that it was almost hit. Terrified by the sound and the loud voice of the driver, the dog stood frozen in front of the car. When the owner heard the commotion and saw his dog standing in the roadway, he lovingly called from his yard for the dog to come to him. Seeing his beloved, trusted master and hearing his sweet call, the dog quickly ran home, expecting safety. Instead, as soon as the dog reached him, the owner beat his dog and yelled at him for being in the street. Will this act change the behavior of the dog? You may argue that a dog and a child can’t be compared as they don’t reason the same. However, according to developmental tests reported by NBC News, even the average dog has the abilities of a toddler. In some areas, dogs are even more intelligent than preschoolers. Speaking of preschoolers, according to a study by the American Psychological Association, they’re the most likely group to be spanked. I don’t want to make this post to come across as shaming, but I do want parents to realize the gravity of the gift we’ve been given. We are raising children for the Great I Am. Checking Expectations Around Spanking We want to be good parents.   Of course we want to do our best. But remember, our best falls far below the standard of our holy Heavenly Father. That’s why we must, as those entrusted to parent for God , stop and evaluate the reasoning behind why we make specific decisions and why we take certain actions to discipline or disciple. Why do some parents choose to spank instead of correcting their children in another way? What do we think we’re teaching our children when we respond with such forceful correction? Should spanking be the first act a parent takes when a child needs correcting? Are parents behaving biblically when they spank? Or are they succumbing to frustration? What prompts a parent to grab the belt, hair brush, or forcefully use their hand in an effort to teach their child? Most parents who spank were spanked as children. It’s the way they were raised, so it’s what they remember and revert to. But does that mean it is the best method for training God’s children in righteousness? Is spanking the choice we should make to build connection with God and us ? Many parents also share that the reason they spank is to cause pain that changes the behavior of their child. We have to consider what type of changes pain will bring. Surprisingly, research also indicates that parents will hit their child more frequently when they are an active or strong-willed boy between the ages of three to four. When you hear that statistic, how does it make you feel? Does the fact that boys disrupt quiet or make messes make them targets for spanking? Does spanking make them better men when they grow up? Or will a relationship built through teaching and connection make the necessity to spank disappear? The answers to these questions are what parents should seek before deciding to spank. Frequency of spanking also varies based on parental or child age, race, gender, education, or socio economic status of the family. The topic of spanking is a divisive one. Most people have feelings one way or another. As I shared earlier, those feelings often stem from the way parents were disciplined as a child. Checking God's Word on Spanking One Bible verse is often quoted as evidence to back pro-spanking parents. Proverbs 13:24  says, “ Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” If we look at the verse with an observant, knowledgeable heart and take our thoughts captive for Christ to prayerfully seek God’s wisdom in this area, we may come to a different conclusion about spanking. For example, Strong’s Lexicon, a type of concordance, teaches that the rod  was generally a stick used by shepherds for protecting and guiding their flocks. Shepherds used the rod to steer the sheep in the right direction, or to keep them gathered when they strayed. The rod was also used to fend off predators or warn and comfort the sheep. Used these ways, the rod isn’t  a tool for inflicting injury. Instead, it is a tool for loving, protective guidance . When many parents hear the word discipline, they imagine spanking or another form of punishment. However in biblical days the meaning was quite different. In the semitic root, the word rod refers to a type of measuring stick. In the same way we use a yardstick today, the rod was used to measure distances to danger or to measure the growth of sheep in the shepherd’s care . The rod was not intended to inflict pain upon people or sheep. The word rod is also used for scepter. Although the verse from Proverbs 13:24   is usually interpreted as a directive to spank children, when we consider how a scepter was used, we understand that it could be used to extend grace and mercy or death by the King. Since the king wouldn’t speak much or at all to his subjects, he would often make his intentions or directives known by his scepter, the recognized symbol of authority. Whether it was the king or an appointed servant using the scepter, it was understood that the instrument held authority. So as we read Proverbs 13:24 we can see that the rod is seen as the idea of authority , not a literal rod. If you also consider that it was Solomon who penned the verse in Proverbs, you must remember that he was a king. His terminology would have been written with the mindset of one who used the scepter for the purposes I just shared. As king, Solomon was an authority figure to many, but remember, he was also a father, or symbol of authority to his children. Using this frame of thinking, we can reason that Solomon wasn’t condoning beating children, but instead encouraged using the rod, which would be showing love or direction. So, when parents extend the rod, we are paying attention  to what our children are doing. We are considering the current situation, as well as looking forward to the future. We are choosing to extend mercy by correcting the behavior, not simply punishing. Checking the Heart Regarding Spanking Dealing with a situation we need to address doesn’t mean to beat or spank. But it doesn’t mean to ignore the actions of our children, either. Just as God extends mercy and forgiveness to us when we are disobedient, He also allows us to suffer consequences. Consequences will differ depending on the act and repercussions, but God doesn’t desire that we beat down children mentally, emotionally, or physically. His discipline is always designed to reach and transform our heart  for Him. Just as we should intentionally strive to do with the children He entrusted to our care. Correcting with our children means instructing and guiding in ways that lead to Christlikeness and connection through heart change . Remember, lack  of discipline can cause destructive or ungodly morals and behavior. So does the wrong   kind  of discipline. Discipline offered in anger can destroy connection and confidence in the parent, then ultimately in Christ. Spanking doesn’t show loving discipline that exhibits clear connection between the action of the child and the consequence. Spanking is often done in anger or bitterness, frustration or embarrassment, or even because of a feeling of disrespect. Spanking often resembles beating and can inflict injury, but doesn’t reach the heart  of the child. Also, parents often spank in the heat of the moment and can accidentally abuse their child. Since spanking isn’t tied to natural consequences of the behavior, it has often been shown to increase aggressiveness in children. Instead of resorting to spanking quickly, pay attention to the times your child is misbehaving. Could it be when you’re very distracted or busy and your child is trying to get your attention? Is your child misbehaving because he is tired or hungry? Look for the root cause and discipline to bring about godly discipleship. Remember, discipline  should be loving guidance  and correction that disciples the heart , not a form of punishment. Discipline comes in many forms. Children are unique. There is no “one size meets all requirements” approach. But I do believe every parent should see the word discipline as discipleship to keep them accountable to building relationship and connection between their child and God. All godly correction should allow children to grow up with closer connection to Christ and family, and a joy-filled life with respect for their Heavenly Father and society. Discipline should be a step that builds transformation of the heart of your child. Checking God's Will Regarding Spanking If a parent still intends to spank, I don't recommend it as a first form of correction. Just as I said earlier, children are unique on purpose. Just as God reaches each of us in different ways over time, parents must find what form of discipline works for each child. Be careful not to use a strong-willed child as an excuse to spank. Find ways to craft that strong will into a strong heart for godliness and with connection for Christ . Your child’s will must be guided, not squashed into rebellion. Alternate means of correction might be: loss of privileges, time out, time in, stern looks, hand signals, a hushed voice, work, or redirection of behavior. Use your situation to find natural consequences for teaching your children, but always remain mindful of the objective of stepping them closer to God and changing their heart for Him through the form of correction you choose. When a child misbehaves or disobeys, it’s important to locate the root cause  in order to reach their heart for change. Remember, discipline should be correction and training toward discipleship, not punishment. Discipline should be designed as an instrument that assists in correcting behavior and facilitating heart change . Spanking doesn’t get to the core of what needs correcting. Correcting behavior (which stems from the heart of your child) allows you to draw your child’s heart nearer to Christ. Addressing heart issues moves the child closer to transformation, both in the heart and in the behavior that stems from it. Spanking punishes, but doesn’t change the heart, except perhaps planting bitterness that can place a wedge between parent and child, or more importantly, between Christ and child. Proverbs 9:10  which says, “ The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding .” Apart from the Lord we don’t have wisdom or understanding. Both are needed as you prayerfully determine whether God calls you to spank His children. Remember, that in order to change behavior, children should also see that their parents acknowledge their own personal sins. They need to understand that Mom and Dad repent to God. Then they understand that correction is a lifelong process for both children and adults. They begin to understand that we all need behavior that is fitting to the Lord. Everyone needs to honor God and submit to Him so we develop obedience and closer relationship with Him. Consider this thought - spanking doesn’t teach children to obey the parent or obey God out of love, trust, or obedience. We know that God’s grace and mercy should be the motivator used to discipline children. Discipline should be intended to draw the heart and mind of children nearer to the heart and mind of God. Using discipleship as discipline is the way to reach the heart. God’s Word teaches, corrects, trains, equips, and forgives. Your method of correcting should do the same, while building a foundation for your children to desire God’s Word and ways. Make sure you and your spouse are prayerfully  aligned, so you’ll follow how God instructs you  to discipline to disciple His children. Together, under God's direction, you will discern whether spanking is biblical.

One busy afternoon my youngest child came to me as I worked in the office, her smile so trusting and bright as she met my eyes with her gaze. After pushing her palm toward me, she pulled her fingers back, revealing a tiny cherry tomato grown in her garden. As I reached for her gift, thoughts swarmed my mind. The first were, "I'm not hungry." "I already had several tomatoes today and too many cause stomach problems." "I hope she washed it." As fast as those intruders pressed at me, God covered them with His truth. "How loving of her to think of me." I returned her delight with a smile of my own and reached for her offering. After popping it in my mouth to taste the sweet juice, I had one reply. "You grow the best cherry tomatoes." How often life presents gifts such as this! Moments that seems like an interruption become a divine meeting between opportunity and a decision to love. After my daughter and I shared a hug, I thanked her, and we chatted a bit before she left my side with lightness in her step and joy on her face. Our connection made her feel like the best gardener in the world. A giving daughter. Seen. Appreciated. Loved. Treasured. Lord, please help me hear You whisper when opportunities are presented that might be interpreted as distractions. Help me recognize Your hand in events. Even those I see as problems or pressures. Each day You offer moments I can choose to grasp or let flutter to the ground unseen or unused. May my heart be more in alignment with yours each day. Let it shine You. May it bring my family closer to me, each other, and You . May You shine from me so brightly that my children can’t stay away from the flame of Your great love. Help me live with the delight of a child offering gifts from my heart because mine is deeply entwined with Yours. What a blessing to be aware and ready to grasp God's gifts! Precious Father keep my mind and heart alert to possibilities that You present each day. My daughter and the fruits of her labor highlight the fruits of Your labor in our lives. May the work of our hands always highlight the work of Yours. May my reactions always honor You and bring my child straight to Your arms.

When I parented my first set of children, I was a baby myself. Having them at eighteen and twenty-one made me the youngest mother everywhere I went. Since I had no experience, I wish I could proclaim that I’d carried confidence and courage to parent the unique children God entrusted to me, but instead, I was swayed by parents, doctors, older friends, and books or magazine articles I read. Everyone applauded me for being such a good mother. Although the praise felt wonderful, I didn’t know what I know now. I needed to stop being a good mom. What’s wrong with being a good mom? Nothing…and everything. My husband and I did everything the world expects you to do when raising children. We were present, supportive, loving, kind, and complimentary. All our children’s needs and most of their wants were provided. They had birthday parties with friends, celebrated holidays with lots of family, received vehicles when they began to drive and had good friends. We were very good parents.  In hindsight, and after deep introspection, I can see that our parenting was also worldly. Instead of humbly submitting to God moment by moment and asking for direction on how to raise each of our unique children for Him, we loved God and spoke of God, yet ignorantly supported our children with worldly direction and wisdom. It took deep introspection to see that being a good mom might seem right to most people, but God requires us to be godly parents. Fast forward almost twenty years…my husband and I weren’t even forty when both of our children graduated from high school. By the time my husband and I were in our early forties, God surprised us with a plan neither of us had seen coming. We both experienced what we called a dream or a vision that showed us we had a daughter in China. When we compared our stories, we knew God was at work. As we began looking back on our parenting years and assessing what we felt was done well and what we would want to change, we began praying together for guidance on how to raise this baby in all ways that would give God joy and allow her to be a light for Him. Over the years, our relationship with Jesus had matured, and we knew that He was offering us both an opportunity to parent with an eternal perspective. When our baby (the one we brought home from China) was four years old, our oldest daughter passed away at the age of twenty-nine. It was the deepest hurt I’ve experienced. I had to remind myself to breathe because the pain crushing my chest made it hard to inhale. After this loss, I felt like I lived with one foot here and one in Heaven. Through this deep grief, God exposed His character in ways I had never imagined. I was walking closely with Him but never had to rely on the truths I had read and learned from the Bible. When I was forced to choose whether I would faithfully believe in His goodness and provisions, He proved to me that He is everything His Word says and more than I can comprehend. His faithfulness, mercy, and compassion lifted me above the depth of despair and carried me until I could stand on my feet again. Yet, I didn’t leave His arms. My experience taught me that the safest place to stay is beneath His wings, where He provides all I need for the moment. Now, I am able to parent with an eternal perspective that has been refined through God’s holy love and intimate care. I’m no longer a good mother, but I strive each moment to become a godlier parent for the beautiful children He has entrusted to my care. Those are just several topics I discussed with my friend, Ruth Hovsepian. Ruth is a speaker, writer, and podcast host of "Out of the Darkness." She invites women to find peace, joy, and fulfillment in life through practical tips and tools. Ruth has a mighty testimony herself, and I hope you enjoy listening enough that you get to hear more of her podcast. We recorded this podcast episode together, and I hope you'll take a listen, because our conversation will impact you and your family for ETERNITY: Here's several takeaways from our podcast episode together: ✔ Parenting with eternal perspective means relying on Christ and inhaling God's presence to exhale it onto our children. ✔ Discipleship is crucial in raising children with a strong foundation in Christ. ✔ Even as parents of older children, it is never too late to minister to them and help them grow in their faith. ✔ Being present emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually is essential in parenting. ✔ Difficult parenting experiences can help us grow closer to God and strengthen our relationships with our children. Click here to listen to my conversation with Ruth Hovsepian.

Hi there, it's Marissa! You may know me from seeing me on Mom's social media pages, listening to my podcast episode with Mom , in real life, or are just finding us now. However you found this blog post, I want to give you a warm welcome - but not too warm, because this is a story about how our home could have been up in flames. Life is anything but convenient. While I was out and about one day, I picked up my phone. Much to my surprise, the home button on my iPhone was extremely hot. It was one of the most scalding surfaces I had ever come in contact with. Thankfully, only the button of my phone reached this temperature, and after I drove home, my dad picked me up to make a trip to the Apple store. It turned out my phone's battery was in poor condition, and I would need a new screen, button, and battery. I took my phone home while I waited for the replacement parts to arrive. The next day, the extremely hot button appeared again. And again. After that, I considered my phone a possible fire hazard, and I ended up turning it off, leaving what I considered a ticking time bomb (the few times I used it) on our kitchen fireplace mantel for several days. I didn't love the thought of missing important messages, or not posting for our business, Melane & Co. This seemed to be an ordeal that was anything but ideal, but sometimes, such is life. However, I found that it was refreshing not to have my phone by my side. I missed some messages, but I found I was slightly more productive while I was away from my device that was too hot to handle. My work routines hadn't changed that much, but I felt as though I was more creative and slightly more efficient. I got a little bit of more work done each day I didn't have my phone. It was a small change, but it made a difference. With each passing day, I completed more tasks than I would have, and in the end, I know my device collecting dust added extra efficiency to my days. Instead of scrolling on Instagram for a minute, I made the most out of minutes by thinking of the next thing I could get done. I had already done this when I had my phone, but I filled up my schedule without having my social media feeds at my fingertips. Each day, I finished more than I would have if I'd had my phone. Was it slightly inconvenient to be without a phone? Oh, yes. However, I accomplished more than I would have, little by little. Today is the day I received my phone back fully repaired, and this event gave me an interesting perspective on habits. By being without a phone for several days, I got a little extra work done, and I felt more carefree. I was afraid I would miss some messages for business, and I missed messaging some of my friends, but besides that, this small disadvantage allowed me to move further into my creativity, work, a good book, and an elevated easygoing mindset. By removing myself from this small device for several days, I thought of a heated topic to ponder: what are the seemingly small facets in our life that are holding us back mentally, as well as spiritually? Maybe it's a fear, a suffocating schedule, and/or it can be as simple as starting your day off without a prayer. I believe the smallest changes can make the biggest differences. So, hopefully your phone won't be a ticking time bomb or potential fire hazard, but to deepen your walk with Christ, I suggest two questions to consider. What barriers do you have? What do you think the effects on your life might be if you took those barriers away? Making moves for a more God-honoring life may be uncomfortable, inconvenient, or frightening. It may take a leap of faith, or a small step, but in the end and for eternity, these subtle or sweeping shifts will be oh-so worth it. Marissa

It's still easy to remember those difficult nights I awakened at 4am to feed my middle daughter. At 44 years old, those sleep disturbed nights were tough! Since I had already raised two, I knew this was simply a season, but months of broken rest left me completely exhausted. One morning I had just slipped into bed. It must have been around 3am, and I had just gotten our baby to sleep. As soon as my head rested on the pillow and I turned to my side, sleep rushed over me. It lasted about two minutes before our girl started crying again. I was not going to leave our precious daughter crying when she had been alone for months. She needed to know she was safe and I could be relied on. As I fell to my knees after getting out of bed, I prayed for God to sustain me and give me exactly what our girl needed. One night stands out as lovely reminder of His presence and provisions. That early morning as I rocked my sweet baby in the moonlit corner of her bedroom, I envisioned our future. Her future. Because I had brought her home from China when she was ten months of age, I felt like we had already lost precious time. As I thought about what we had missed, I felt a stirring of possibilities within me. Instead of thinking about what I considered lost, I needed to focus on all that we had to look forward to together. I began praying specific prayers for our future. The life she would live. The impact God would make through her. I even prayed for our home - the literal house we lived in. We had already raised two children, our son and daughter, in that home. It was a sufficient three bedroom, one bathroom home that had been filled with memories created and captured over 22 years. The floor plan, however, especially the fact that the house had only one bathroom that was connected to our master bedroom and did not have a profile easy to add to, had left us wondering if we should finally make the move to another place as we began raising another daughter. As I quietly fed, rocked, talked, and sang to my girl, I also petitioned God. If it was His will that we move, I asked Him to show us His path. I wasn't sure if it was selfishness or submission, but I began telling God all the features I would love if we ever found a new home. Sharing my heart felt good. I knew God already knew my deepest desires, but I also knew He understood even more deeply what I needed. He knew the plans He had for me, my husband, our grown children, and our beautiful baby. Plans He had ordained before the beginning of time were already set. He knew where we should be living and for what purposes, but He still wanted to hear my heart and intentions. As I prayed the desires for my dream home out loud to God, I envisioned the space. It wasn't the grandest home, but it was certainly a larger, more convenient floor plan. Especially because it had more than one bathroom! Adding more of that modern convenience was the number one necessity in my mind. Although I didn't need it, I also requested a home office. For some reason, it had always been a secret desire, a place to set aside for important purposes. In my heart, I desired a home office as one of my top requests, right under another bathroom, of course. As months passed, we began looking for a new home. Nothing seemed to be the right fit until we found a story and a half that seemed perfect. At the last minute the contract fell through because the bank wouldn't let the seller continue. When I asked our realtor if she could find another home with that floor plan or one similar, she began a search that eventually led us to the exact plan. The day we toured the home was so exciting! After walking through the home, we didn't choose to purchase the place, however. In the same neighborhood there was a home that was similar, but larger, with tiny, significant details only God knew we would appreciate. We've now lived in the home I prayed about for eighteen years. In it, we've held ministry meetings, Bible studies, hosted adoption groups, held overnight visitors, and began ministries for God. My office allowed me to easily produce two podcasts that honor the Lord. In this office, I created a women's collective and various resources that point others to Him. We've also adopted again and have enough bedrooms and bathrooms to keep everyone happy. Could we have done the same things in our old home? Absolutely! But only God knew that moving to my dream house would allow us to meet the people who have become important in our life. Neighbors, churches, and community events that we wouldn't have been a part of if we had stayed where we were living were meant to be what continued growing us in Him. I consider the house I prayed for to be a different kind of dream home. Why? Although I had a list of qualities that would be nice to have, I didn't pray for a place that would impress others or be the fanciest in the neighborhood. Instead, my heart deeply desired a home full of the fruits of the spirit. I wanted a house that held Jesus within the walls of our heart. When we humbly follow Him, and come before Him with a desire to please and honor Him, He recognizes the cries of our heart. Sometimes He gives us exactly what we request. Other times He doesn't. But His answer is always good. Each time He listens, He cares, and He offers us His very best for the situation and to bring us nearer to Him. Nothing is too far from His ears or reach. Just as He heard my prayers and answered in such meaningful and specific ways, He does the same for you. Now the same rocking chair I used so many nights ago to rock my daughter as I fed, sang, and talked to her and prayed to God sits in my bedroom instead of a nursery. It is the same rocker I sit in every morning to spend quiet time with God after awakening, the same chair that I use to cuddle under a warm blanket and speak to God before the day begins. This "prayer chair" has reminded me that my Father is faithful to me. Just as He is faithful to my daughter, my other children, my husband, and to you. He still listens and goes before each of us, surprising and surpassing us with His ability to carry us exactly where we need to go. No matter what our special needs and requests may be, if we hold open hands and a humble heart willing to accept what He offers as our best, we discover He provides and protects with exactly what we need. Just as I have spent time in my rocking chair inside my dream home, you may have a special place in your home dedicated to time with the Lord. What do you hear Him speak to you? Is there anything that God is calling for you to release to Him? Are there pieces of your heart that must be mended in ways only God can do? Are you living in a house divided from Him? Are you in a home that needs the peace of God and the hope that can only be found in Christ? Aren't you thankful our Father carries a deep and abiding love for each of us? He hears our pleas and crafts loving plans filled with godly purpose. Sometimes His plans are fulfilled in the desires we lift to Him. Other times, we sell ourselves short with dreams far below what He has purposed for us. Trust in God to guide and guard as you place your doubts, questions, and aspirations in His ever-capable and loving hands. His goodness and grace know no bounds. His gifts are perfectly and personally designed. As thankful as I am for the home we now live in, I treasure the knowledge that despite what might happen on this earth, because I am a follower of Christ, one day I will live in the ultimate dream house for eternity with my Savior. “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am." John 14:1-3

My middle daughter used to participate in pageantry. Now before your mind goes to the glitzy, swimsuit, heels, and heavy makeup painted on a five year-old, that is not what I am referring to. That may be your definition of the pageantry world, but our experience was much different. In fact, her favorite pageant system, USA National Miss is founded on, and based on principles pleasing to God. There is competition, of course, but the national director nurtures the girls to know where she stands with the Lord and to exhibit qualities that honor Him. I bring up pageant competitions because the world of pageantry is often viewed as cut-throat or shallow. We experienced the opposite. Personally, the world of pageantry brought me nearer to God in a surprising way. Allowing my daughter to participate gave God moments to change my mindset from believing my daughter was the best and that she should win everything she entered, even though I never pushed her or seemed that way to others from the outside. In fact, I didn't even realize I carried this attitude until she began competing. When we first started, I believed if the judges would see her, they would agree she should be the winner. As time went on and we made friends with other competitors and their mothers, we began helping them. We offered tips, let them borrow items they needed, prayed with them, traveled with them, and shared life with them. They began helping us. I saw how worthy other girls were to win the title. I began viewing the girls more like God must with His eyes and heart. We no longer allowed my daughter in participate in pageantry hoping she would win, but so that she would develop and sharpen life skills such as interview, public speaking, service, and the ability to handle obtaining or losing the end result she desired. Pageantry built the same skills as participation in sports. Endurance, commitment, teamwork, confidence, and other qualities began to shine through her, and through me. My daughter trained and competed maturely, kindly, and responsibly, always exhibiting a gracious, humble heart. We believed the outcome of every competition was already in God’s hands. I especially appreciated the way God used the evolution of her skills to transform my heart to be more in alignment with what He desires. Life is not about competing to be the best. It is simply an individual journey each of us walks to humbly discover, know, and become more Christ-like each day. The way we live should be viewed through that lens. We are each given different gifts and talents that we can employ for Him. However, God never wants us to use them to demean, belittle, or crush others. He doesn’t call us to “show-off” skills, but to develop "show Him" skills. I believe He wants us to use what He has gifted to work together and to find ways to honor and serve Him together. God has special plans and purposes for each person. 2 Chronicles 7:14-15 tells us, ”If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place.” Imagine a world in which we all humbly seek ways to show and please God though all we do. Psalm 25:8-9 tells us, “Good and upright is the LORD; therefore, He instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble His way.” Imagine a world in which we all choose to listen to and humbly obey God. Proverbs 15:33 says, “Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord; therefore, He instructs sinners in His ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way.” When my middle daughter was younger, she had a dance instructor we were blessed to work with. My daughter respected her and gained so much from the talent and professional skills she taught. There was, however, a quality that I hope this teacher learned from my daughter. This instructor told me in private that my daughter was sometimes meek and submissive to others in class. I understood the behavior she shared. I could see in my mind the times my girl would hold us up when we were out in public as she stopped to open doors for others without anyone even noticing she was there. No one stopped to thank her or take the door from her so that she would be able to go back to us. They simply kept walking through the door, not even noticing it was a child helping them. It used to irritate me a bit because I expected adults to recognize her and at least take the door. My girl still does this for others; in fact, her humble behavior now carries a quiet confidence with it. One that comes from above. She knows not everyone appreciates this simple gesture. She doesn’t need to gain their approval. The kindness is not only performed for them. Her actions are spurred by what she feels God is asking her to do. Through her, I have personally learned that what sometimes what appears to be weakness is actually strength cloaked in God’s desire for us to humble ourselves before Him and others. Since Jesus instructs us to live with the faith of a child, I believe we can learn so much from our children. Instead of teaching them to be tougher or to be more competitive, we should be learning from them and taking on the humbleness they intuitively exhibit. As we desire to grow closer to the Lord, there are questions to ponder and answers we must assess about our hearts to ensure we allow Him to shine from within us and guard against the self-sabotage of ego and self-importance. In what ways do I hear God whispering to me to change? Where has pride taken over my spirit? Do I seek to honor God in what I do? Do I seek selfish attention or have self-serving ambitions when I serve others? Is my work an attempt to make myself appear more successful and fill a hole within myself best completed by God? Do I sacrifice my family in an attempt to gain worldly attention? What are my children learning about God by watching my daily walk? Each of us has areas that God must make visible so His holy work can mend from within. Proverbs 11:2 says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” The lessons God crafts for each of us are so personal. Whether we choose to learn from them or continue walking without a humble spirit is our choice. Although I am thankful that God allows us the ability to select whether we allow ourselves to humbly submit to Him and follow His ways, I have also grown thankful for hard lessons I have learned. Not that I wanted to endure them, or allow others in my life to suffer, but because they have proven to me how great and gracious my Heavenly Father really is. He not only allows us the ability to choose, but the ability to learn through experience. When we fail or fall, He graciously picks us back up and loves us despite the arrogant or ignorant mistakes we make, allowing us the ability and opportunity to learn from Him and extend that grace to others. Humility comes in many forms. Studying the life of Jesus affords us the gift of seeing a grace-filled and beautiful life unfold. Our Savior enriches our life and spiritual walk as we trust Him and begin to understand the power of humility and the wisdom that only comes from Him. A modest walk is not something to despise or desire to change. Humility is a quality that we need to savor and treasure as we labor to retain and build upon it. It does not mean we have no confidence; on the contrary, it means that we have full confidence in Him and in what He is accomplishing in and through us. As we seek to live each day with more eternal perspective, a humble spirit is essential to develop and grow as we release prideful attitude and actions in order to adopt a Christlike mindset. Then our children, whether young or grown, will see Christ at work within us. They will see the need for Him in their own lives and grow the desire to serve Him and others with powerful humility that only comes from Christ.

A Humble Spirit My youngest child loves to create acronyms, especially funny ones. Lately, they have all been about me. In fact, the last couple of days she has been calling me “MAP.” This same daughter is always referring to us as twins. She's told me for years that she wants to be just like me. My sweetheart has also lived a long “I want to be like Mommy” phase, so I was surprised last night when she told me that she didn’t want to be like me anymore. I’ll admit. It hurt my ego. “Oh, no,” I said to her. “We’re not twins anymore?” “No,” she said without a trace of remorse. “Why not?” I asked, hiding the protest in my heart that she is growing up so fast. “Mommy’s work all the time. I don’t want to.” She laughs, but I immediately feel “Mom Guilt.” My mind swirls. I don’t want her to grow up thinking all I do is work around the house. Soothing my ego, I remind her that I make time to play with her every single day, share a Bible study together, and we spend most days together in homeschool with a lot of intentional interactions. I realize that her response and attitude proved that she's good with our time. In fact, she’s not guilting me with the acronym she chose for me. I remind myself that having only lived a normal family life for the last few years, she is simply making observations and voicing her feelings. Remember that acronym she's calling me? MAP. Do you want to know what she says it stands for? “Mommy’s A Peasant.” As she continued teasing and laughing about me being "MAP," the Holy Spirit gave me the best response for her. “Thank you,” I said. “What?” she asked. “You said I’m a peasant, right?” “Yes,” she said. “You said I do things for the family all day?” “Yes.” “Think about Jesus,” I reminded her. “I’m not nearly close enough to His character,” I said, “But if Jesus came to serve and not be served, I think I can try to do the same for my family with a humble spirit.” Her teasing stopped. She faced me with full attention and interest. We discussed Jesus and why He came to live on the earth among us. She’s heard most of what I said before, but began listening with a new perspective. Fresh thoughts and a different view gave life to the old Biblical tales. So far today she hasn’t called me a peasant, but she has designed an acronym for herself. It’s PAP. Her nickname is Peanut, and she now says, “Peanut’s a Peasant.” In fact, she has now christened her Daddy as “DAP” and her sister as “MAP,” as well. Philippians 2:1-11 says, “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” How great our God is that He chooses to gift us with recognizable ways to draw ourselves and others to Him. How merciful is He that in our fallen nature where ego threatens to rule at every turn, the Holy Spirit lives inside those of us who love Him. He enables us to hear His quiet truths and remember that life is not about us. All that we do should lift Him toward the glory and honor He is due. May He increase and I decrease. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” My goodness. I love the way God shows me where my ego gets in the way. Why did my identity feel bruised when my daughter told me that I worked a lot? I know the answer. It's because I try so hard to be there for her. I make sure we play since she didn’t have time in the important formative years. I purposely create opportunities to grow our bonds with each other. I find ways to secure our attachment. But the key point to remember is that none of it would be possible without the work of my Heavenly Father allowing the good works to come to fruition. He is the One guiding my spirit to desire what to do with her. He is also the One forming the bonding and attachment that occurs. As I submit to Him and rely on His promptings, He freely flows into our lives. Because of Him, instead of feeling a little wounded with the opinion she voiced, I rejoice that she shares her thoughts so openly. I know that her feelings are not about me. I don't want my personal thoughts or feelings to twist what she shares with me. I know how easily emotions can distort truth. I want to really absorb what she is trying to communicate. Have you ever been humbled by the Lord? I have. Many times. I’ve been forced to learn hard lessons in the area of humility. Especially in the areas I felt most competent or talented. The areas in which God blesses are sometimes our most vulnerable spots. It’s easier for us to be deceived and think that we can handle something on our own. We tend to look to Him less, until we learn lessons in humility the hard way and learn where our true strength lies. In Him. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” God cares for, protects, and lifts the humble. “Oh, Lord, please humble me so that I may be cared for and lifted closer as You desire.” Help me possess a humble spirit in my duties as "MAP" in Your eyes and the eyes of my family as we serve and shine you together in the godly ways You desire. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”

The aroma of freshly cooked chicken soup was wafting from the kitchen when my youngest came downstairs for breakfast. It was nearly 1:00 in the afternoon, but I'd let her sleep in because she was battling a cold. On normal days, she required eleven to twelve hours of sleep; she needed even more now. When she sat down at the breakfast bar, her soup was ready to be eaten in her favorite green glass bowl. Her favorite tiny silver spoon was ready to be dipped into the steaming bowl of brothy noodles, and a cup of apples sat nearby. As I watched her eat, I shared a bit of info she'd never heard from me. "Did you know that bowl belonged to my parents?" "No," she answered with curiosity. Because our girl came to us after my parents had already passed away, and she started her life with us when she was already nine years old, my youngest was always very interested in family history. "When my parents passed away, I kept that bowl," I told her. "I can still imagine my mom's delicious homemade potato salad or vinegar cucumbers inside." "Yum," she replied as she ate. Although she's a tiny thing, food always catches her interest. Her eyes lit up thinking about the flavors of the food I mentioned and how she might get to taste those recipes. "I'm glad we have that bowl since you love it so much," I told her. "Now you get to eat from it whenever you want to and become a part of the memories." Nodding with joy in her eyes, she continued eating. "Only God knew that one day the special little girl He sent to me would enjoy eating from the same bowl years later," I told her. Her beautiful, dimpled smile rewarded my effort at drawing God's truths into the conversation. In a matter of moments, that green bowl had moved from a mere serving bowl to a treasured piece of family history. With a few words, a precious, much-wanted child became a part of the memories that would be shared in the years to come. For most people, days are lived with such a rush of movement. Wake up, get busy, complete the next activity, responsibility, or chore, then move to the next thing. When did we decide "busy" was honorable or a worthy way to spend time? Or did we just fall into the habit of constant activity? Mothers, please be purposed. Live with godly intention. Most of the actions we hustle to complete have no effect on eternity. In fact, they may be distracting us from setting goals that led to eternal purposes. Our ignorance may become a barrier to our children living and thinking with eternal perspective. The green bowl that has been passed to a third generation proves that we don't have to be busy. Or fancy. We don't have to be wealthy. Fame doesn't matter. Just as that bowl served the purpose it was designed for, and made impressions on others for years to come, our lives must purposely reflect our faith, trust, and obedience to the One we love. Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails." My life became intentional for Christ in a new way when I was in my early forties. We had already raised two children to adulthood and were beginning a "second family." We were preparing to travel halfway across the world to bring home the baby girl God promised was waiting for us. Then ten years later we brought a sister home. In between those years, our family suffered so much loss. Grandparents, parents, a job and income, but at the top of the list was our first child. Her death was the final catalyst for a purposed life. Although I already knew my life purpose was to honor God and to teach my children to love, know, honor, and serve Him, losing Jaime cemented that desire. My life was no longer only about making Him known to my children, but now also focused on helping other women do the same with their children. The joy my youngest felt at eating from a bowl that had served its purpose for generations reminded me that if that simple glass object can be a vessel that joins people in love, how much more value is found in a purposed parent who connects her child to Christ? Items we treasure in this world won't go with us when we pass from here to eternity. Yet we know that the eternal wealth we store in the hearts of our children will live within them forever, serving them until we see them again. This is the type of family heirloom approved by the Father.

Fifteen years ago today I became a different person. When my oldest daughter died, part of me did, too. I admit, I have a long way to go, and I'll never achieve my goal this side of Heaven. But on the day my oldest child died, I truly started living in light of eternity. Before, I only thought I did. As Christians, we think we live in this world, but are not part of it. We think we hold things we love loosely, but with thankfulness. Sometimes we even fool ourselves into thinking that if we follow Christ with our whole heart, the really bad things might not happen, but they do. In fact, Jesus told us they would occur in this fallen world. Although I already knew, loved, and served Jesus, on that day, I felt the mercy and grace of our Heavenly Father at a much deeper level. I experienced God, rather than simply interpreting His Word. He is bigger and more loving than the human mind can imagine. He is personal and intimate. He knows exactly where we are in need of Him and how to reach us. My biggest fear had always been losing a child, but once it happened, I learned that the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be to lose Christ, which will never happen. My daughter introduced me to motherhood when I was only 18. We use to tease each other about growing old together since we wouldn't be that far apart in age. We laughed about her being 60 when I was 78, and suddenly the ages didn't seem old anymore. Now I'm 63 and she's supposed to be 44. The last time I hugged her, my daughter was only 29. Now, most of my life has been lived without my oldest daughter, but she has made an impact on me every day since I met her almost 45 years ago. I know it's a small token, but I wear the ring I selected the week she died and I wear it like a wedding band on my right hand. It proves she was here. She mattered. Her life consisted of more than a mere 29 years. Jaime hadn't even lived long enough to truly find herself yet. While I don't need the ring to remember her, (my heart does that duty every day on its own), the band signifies the way our story will always be intertwined, how different, and how alike we sometimes were. Although I haven't heard her voice in 15 years, my memory stirs the sound well when I glance at the ring on my finger. I see her light-up-a-room smile and hear her laughter that drew everyone in. Mothers, hold your children tight. No matter how old they are, raise them to live with a perspective focused beyond this world so you will one day see them again. Make your days matter because you never know when your last one - or theirs will come. Find your relationship with Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I guarantee that no matter what this world may bring you, He will be there. The Holy Spirit residing within you will fill you, guide you, and guard you like nothing else can. You will be equipped to face each day with a joy beyond this world and hope that is everlasting. Until I see you again, Jaime...and feel your sweet arms embrace me with a greeting right after Jesus.

Does motherhood ever leave you feeling defeated? Do you question whether you are the right person to parent your child? I remember feeling inadequate in every way after I had my first child at age 18. Even the thought of feeding or bathing this tiny person who depended on me for everything terrified me. When I lifted my daughter to burp her on my shoulder, she would curl into a tiny ball that almost slipped from my unpracticed grasp. God, in His infinite mercy saw me. He knew my heart and needs. Three days after I delivered her, He allowed something scarier than caring for her to help me learn to rely on Him. Because I had delivered my baby in a university hospital, not just one person, but a team of doctors unexpectedly entered my room one Thursday morning three days after her delivery. One of them reached to pull the tiny curtain around my bed before they shared unexpected news. "Mrs. Hitt. We have a problem with your baby." In that moment, the fears that previously attacked my mind and all the feelings of inadequacy that worried and scared me automatically switched to another mode. Mama Bear. The mother instinct kicked in without thought. Before I had worried about how I would be able to take care of her; now I just wanted her to be safe and healthy. "We found your baby blue in the nursery this morning." As the doctors relayed the story, I learned that no one had yet discovered why my daughter was discolored and unresponsive that morning. Several tests had been done and I would be kept updated as more information was discovered. At the time I was hearing the news, my daughter was being moved to the neonatal intensive care. Before this happened, my thoughts were centered around me and how my life had changed, how inadequate and young I was. I questioned whether I would be a good mother, whether I would know what to do with any problem, and wondered if I would hurt her instead of help her. Now I turned to God, releasing my fears and asking Him to save her. I pleaded with Him to show me the way to be a good mother and to give me the chance to be one. I asked Him to protect her. People worried that maybe they shouldn't come visit us at the hospital or bring gifts in case she didn't make it. With each unknowingly hurtful word spoken, my desire to protect my baby grew. I knew God was in control and He was working something for good. In the end, only one test returned with problems, but after it was redone, the results were fine. Because of the complications shown before we had the results, my daughter stayed in the ICU for several days after I was discharged. During that time, God made a special way for me to learn more about caring for a newborn each day when I visited her. He gently ministered to me through the nurses who showed me different ways of burping my daughter so that I could keep a steady hand on her. They taught me to bathe her with a "football grip." I learned several tips that gave me confidence that I could parent my child without fear of "breaking" or hurting her. Even before I had a personal relationship with Jesus, God had His eye on me. We'll never know all the reasons my child had to stay the extra days, but I do know that God used that time to work in me, preparing me for times ahead that would allow me to parent with more confidence, but also set me on the path to trusting Him with all things and forging the beginning of a faith that would come to Him with everything, because He would become my everything. The truth is that we are each perfectly imperfect at life. We may have skills or talents that God has allowed us, but what we carry within us is from Him and was crafted within us to honor Him and show His glory to a desperate world. When we are on our knees before Him, reliant on the Lord, we become our strongest. Faith, trust, and obedience are the tools we must carry to enable His strength, wisdom, insight, and abilities to flow through us. Grace beyond measure awaits those who seek and rely on Him. The next time you're tempted to question your abilities as a mother or a woman of God, remember He is in control. He sees you. He choose you for the very mission you are on now with your children. Raising them to know, love, honor, obey, and follow Jesus is the greatest gift you can give your child. Through Him, you are fully equipped to do just that as you humbly seek and follow Him. You are enough for each step of motherhood as you rest in His capable arms. How? Because He is enough. Each child in your home was specifically chosen for and entrusted to you to raise. You are the mother God desired them to have. Keep your your knees bent in prayer and your heart focused on Him. The best way to do that is to imagine a set of blinders over your eyes. But instead of keeping you from looking side to side, those blinders direct your gaze Upward. The truth is that God's mercies are unfailing and His compassion and wisdom unsurpassed. He is waiting for you to call on Him to carry you through each imperfect season of motherhood. He is more than enough for each of the needs you carry to Him. He designed you to seek Him and to raise the children He loaned to you to do the same. He is waiting to show you the way to become a godly mother, not just a good one.

Two times of the year rudely probe the tenderest spot of my heart. The month of January prompts anticipation of the anniversary date that my first child left this earth. Soon after, the month of March reminds me of her birth into this world. Somehow, the days leading up to her birthday are harder than the actual birthday for me. The anticipation of the special day she came into the world and changed my life forever when I was blessed to become her mother juxtaposed against the worst day I have ever survived when she passed both compress my chest, making my breaths shallow, causing me to pause and temporarily sit lost in memories and "what-if's." The wishful thoughts that she could be here with me, that she could see our family now, share in our jokes, laughter, and fun are wasted and woeful. Her time on earth is gone. So simple, so sad. As I wait for her birthday to bring another year without her hugs, her joyful laughter, or long chats, a familiar lump swells my throat and I wonder about what type of relationships she would have with the girls, her little sisters. Although Marissa was only four when the girls last saw each other, Jaime loved and respected the little sister she resisted at first. After getting over some initial jealousy, Jaime met and fell in love with the sister she proclaimed to be, "the smartest baby alive!" Her other sister, Brooklyn, the one she never got to see, carries a dry wit that would have left Jaime challenged and in awe. I also mourn the relationship with her brother and nephew; I wish each of them could spend time together full of sibling play, laughter, and simple companionship. Just seeing everyone together would be so joyful. Loss is Tricky As I write the surface thoughts of my loss, I share not because I long to impart a lesson or deep thoughts to help others heal. The truth is that you don't get over child loss, but you can get through it. Today I am simply writing the words of a mother thinking of her precious and beautiful first child. Sometimes I ponder how Jaime got the best and the worst of me. Only 18 years old when I had her, she received the young, inexperienced mother who didn't know Jesus. Unsure of myself and the world, I was growing and maturing in every skill needed to be a mother. Instead of receiving an experienced mother devoted to growing her in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord, she received a rookie; one just entering the game of motherhood and life. Jaime was a beautiful girl with so many talents. We shared so much laughter, crazy jokes, and fun times that sometimes get forgotten if I only focus on the pain. On some levels, Jaime and I connected as a kindred spirit, on others we clashed and could not see eye to eye. But beneath it all was love. Deep love that always brought us back together. I miss that. The emotion that would carry us to each other despite forces that strove to pull us apart. They say love never dies. Yet when one you love beyond words is gone from this world, and you no longer feel their love in return; it seems like yet another death. I think that is one of the things we mourn when a loved one passes. Although our love continues on, unreciprocated love hurts. It is ripped from us with no chance of retaliation, for no mere mortal can fight death. Loss Demands Choices There is only one who holds power over death. Christ. I praise God that through the power of the Holy Spirit alive within me, I still live with deep joy. Even lives with extensive joy need moments to allow memories and loss to penetrate the levels of our affections. Emotions and feelings need room to breathe, similar to slipping on an old piece of clothing to allow yourself to feel memories or listening to music that transports you to another time in your mind. We aren't meant to languish in the moments, but to receive as a gift to wrap around us. Although our loved one is gone, we are not. It is good to feel. We feel because we live. There is purpose hidden in that fact. Whether we thrive or survive in this world, each day allows fresh opportunities to connect with and cherish the ones we still have. Somehow I've always understood that those around me deserve fullness of life and love from me. One death did not mean that I could vanish and deprive others from love. I am deeply thankful that God has hand-picked those I share my life with. We get to experience this world and all of the pain and joys together, bonding us more tightly with each other and with Him as we endure them together as a united force. If you have loved and lost someone, I am deeply sorry. My heart beats sorrow and sharp pain for the love you still carry inside that can no longer be reciprocated. I'm so sorry for the love you lost. I understand that you can live with one foot here and one in Heaven. I pray each of us experience the fullness of both and never get stuck in between. The Ultimate Choice As I wrap myself in thoughts that bring pain and those that make me laugh as they joyfully tickle the fringes of my mind, tears may sting my eyes and heart. Sometimes I may want to sit and cry, to allow for the salty dampness to remind me that my daughter was once here. I can't see her, but I still feel her. I am forever grateful for the privilege of being Jaime's mother. I will never again be the young girl who blindly stepped into parenting and found myself along the way. That was a time only the two of us shared. Together, we both grew and loved, lived and learned. What a blessed gift she brought me, even though it ended far before I was ready to relinquish my duties. However, my sacred title still remains. Jaime's Mother. Just as my love remains. When we have loved and lost deeply, we have two choices. One is to be bitter. To live in agony or despair. The other choice is to allow Christ to carry us through the loss and lift us into His arms. If you are lost in pain and despair, I am praying for you. Through the anguish of deep loss, we have joined a club we never wanted into. Although I would switch membership at any opportunity, as I'm sure you would, I am grateful to have learned that I only thought I was living with eternal perspective before. Now I can truly say that I cherish every moment. I know life is not guaranteed beyond the second we are experiencing. Loved ones are a privilege, not a guaranteed spot in our lives. Bad things happen. They will continue to occur. Make the most of the time you have here. Experience as much as you can with those you love. Reach out to others and let them know you care. Mature your walk with Christ. If you don't know Jesus, try. Seek Him. I promise that there is no depth of pain or need that He cannot fill. When I was at my most sorrowful, He cradled me like I had never felt before. I believed I was already close to Jesus, but another veil was lifted and I clearly saw His intimate face. I felt His breath. His chest beat against mine as He tenderly carried me each step of the way. He has never left. He will never leave you. Hold out your hand. If you already have, keep holding tight. He is faithful. Remembrance Jaime, I love you. I look forward to the day I wrap my arms around Jesus and look into His loving eyes. I just know you will be right behind Him. I've never forgotten your tight squeezes that assured me of your love. Jesus has carried me all these years. I can't wait to feel your arms around me and to place mine around you. You are beloved; never forgotten. Love, Mom

" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own ." Matthew 6:34 No one enjoys trouble. Or heartache. Or pain. Of course, we would each rather have sunshiney days with no distractions and complete freedom to plan our calendar and live unencumbered by problems. Unfortunately, life just doesn't work that way. As much as I crave simplicity, I'm honestly thankful my sovereign Heavenly Father knows what to allow in my life to continue stretching my faith and spiritual maturity, while guiding me ever closer to Him. How wonderful it is to know and trust that I will never be close enough to God! How freeing it is to believe that He is watching over me, over each of us, understanding us well because He lovingly crafted us for a purpose . Only God sovereignly knows what will bring us ever nearer to him and draw others with us as we step deeper into His embrace . Life is a journey , literally meaning we progress from one stage to another. Although we don't always get to choose the obstacles, pit stops, mountains, or valleys we encounter, we do get to determine the destination . Are you headed toward Him? Are you preparing for eternity in His arms? Any life issue, whether great or seemingly insignificant is seen by God, the Author of Life , the Perfector of our Faith . When we seek every moment for Him and release life issues as an offering to Him, we honor the life we have been given, and in extension, we praise God . Hebrews 12:2-3 says, " Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart ." The word "perfecter" translated from Greek means "completer" or "finisher" as it conveys bringing something (or someone ) to its conclusion. As we ponder these two words in the context of the Bible verse, we understand that Jesus creates and finishes our faith. He also sustains our faith; the gift that can never be lost or stolen away. Because of Jesus . Jesus watches over us through every struggle, gently soothing and mending our heart as we release our troubles to Him. He weeps with us and stands guard over our spirit, tenderly loving and protecting us in ways we cannot fathom. Allow the Lord to use every piece of your life to draw not only yourself , but others to Him as you proclaim the goodness and mercy He exhibits as He provides the stepping stones and guardrails through your life travels. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, " We tear down arguments and every presumption set up against the knowledge of God; and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Allow God to use the hard and the easy to draw you nearer to Him so that He may draw nearer to you. We already know this world is not easy, yet life was never intended to only be about what we desire or how much "fun" or "stuff" we can have. Deep and everlasting joy comes from one Source alone . Our life is meant to honor and obey Him . Jesus warned us to be watchful and to trust in Him . "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take courage; I have overcome the world !” John 16:33 Take each moment, every situation captive for Him. Phillipians 4:8 offers advice on lving through the trials and tribulations of this world. " Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things. " Despite the schemes of the evil one, the fleshly desires of our heart, or the trials and pitfalls of this fallen world, we have a firm foundation to stand upon. No matter whether our trials are caused by our failures and mistakes, testing, or the simplicity of this broken life, we can trust that God will never forsake us. Let everything move you closer to the life Jesus sacrificed His for, and which He is proclaiming as good for you. " By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one must be careful how he builds. For no one can lay a foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ ." 1 Corinthians 3:10-11 Build your life, attitude, reactions, and desires on the foundation that stands. Jesus Christ. Then allow the Carpenter to transform you moment by moment, through the mountains and valleys of your life. Jesus offers the only way to eternal joy and a life of clarity and peace, despite circumstances.

In the past, when I told people the Lord crafted my life in a special, senstive way to desire to help women know, love, and honor the Lord Jesus so well that they intentionally raised children to choose Christ over culture, not many understood my words. "What do you mean?" I was asked often. Times have changed. Now when I mention the way God has continued to allow me to notice and encourage women to see the need for Jesus in their life and homes, the drive He has instilled in me to show them the way to Him and to help them see the ways to naturally bring Jesus into daily life so that He will be known to their children or grandchildren, they are beginning to understand. Why? Culture is changing at a rapid pace. Look around, listen, and let God speak to your heart. What do you think he feels when He sees the condition of our world? Can you see how our children and grandchildren are being pushed away from what is vitally important and are being filled with momentary distractions? Flesh and the god of this world are luring and deceiving more and more children and adults. Schools are infiltrated with deception and lies, as are music, books, magazines, and entertainment. Even churches. Driven by Love Do you ever ponder just how God can stand to look upon us? How does God continue to love us with a depth that we cannot fully describe or understood? As parents, we get a glimpse of how He might feel, yet our Heavenly Father's love is holy , sovereign , and purposeful, so high above what we are capable of. Yet, as loving as God is, He cannot tolerate sin. Through His great love for us, God has provided a way to be reconciled to Him. Jesus . Through the sacrifice of Jesus, we are cleansed. Made new. God is able to shine His face upon us and rejoice at His children. Yet, we are not holy and we never will be. Despite our sinful nature, God offered us a bridge to Him. John 14:6 says, "Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me .'" If we don't know Jesus through a personal relationship, those words mean nothing to us. When we do trust Jesus as Savior, we are obligated to intentionally deepen and mature our walk with Him moment by moment . Driven by Faith Just as Jesus chose to offer Himself as a sinless sacrifice in attonement for our sins, we must choose whether to offer ourselves in return. What does His sacrifice mean to you ? Do you expect a magic genie? An easy life? No problems? Or do you understand that relationships take committment? They take work? Only through a purposed life can we begin to mature and understand the gift we have been offered. Just as Jesus was driven by obedience to the Father, we must decide whether we are driven by faith, trust, and obedience. Or are we influenced and directed by the demands of this world? As we mature our walk through trust, faith, love, and obedience , we see the importance of allowing Jesus access to every area of our life, personal, private, and secret moments no one else sees or knows about. That is where we must begin. Until He truly cleanses our heart and mindset , we will never realize the validity of His sacrifice and what our response should be. We will never understand the gift we are obligated to pass to our children and grandchildren. Driven by Obedience If you are not intentionally mentoring and leading your precious children or grandchildren to Jesus, the world is leading them away from Him . Living with eternal perspective allows us to set the purpose and product we desire for the end of our life, then work backwards to accomplish that goal. As we cling to Jesus, our objectives should be in alignment with what He is calling for us . If you haven't already intentionally done so, I urge you to prayerfully spend time with the Lord, asking for His holy direction and guidance, for His wisdom and calling to be made known to you. Then ask Him to do the work needed inside you to reach the purpose He has set for and before you . Nothing that happens in our life is wasted when we lift it all to Him to be used for His glory. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, dissolved dreams, financial failures, betrayal, or any emotion, heartache, or suffering this world brings, God can completely transform the bitterness or deepest hurt in your heart and use what you are experiencing for good in His kingdom, (even though it feels like nothing but scary, meaningless words). Through it, He invites you to live cradled in His arms with a new peace , trust , and joy that surpasses what this world offers. Through lifting what we suffer to Jesus , we are invited to rest our burdens on His shoulders and be carried through what ails us so that we can be remade or renewed . Driven by Christ, Not Culture What we see around us is not the world God desires for us. Following the culture , trends , and ideals preached by a society that does not know Him leads us farther from the grace, love, hope, peace, joy, and trust we desire so deeply. It is leading our children and grandchildren farther from Him (and the commands He has lovingly set for our lives) moment by moment. What is He laying upon your heart? Where do you need to allow Him to change you ? What is He calling you to do for Him? Life is meant to honor the Lord. The precious gift of life here was not created simply for our good pleasures. You were intentionally crafted for relationship with God through Jesus and for a specific purpose . Have you found it? Are you seeking it? Life is not about self or finding self-love as this world preaches, but must center around Him . We are only made complete when we honor the gift of relationship with Jesus and purposely mature it daily. What do you desire to change in your relationship with the Lord? What can you release to Jesus today? He is waiting to take your burdens so that you will live in fullness with Him and live in the world without being a part of it. Driven by Eternity When we adopted a baby after raising two children, my husband and I decided to analyze past parenting skills and choose what we would like to change . Facing where we could better honor the Lord in the future was our biggest goal. As we had matured in our faith over the years we knew God was calling us to bless the life of our future daughter by drawing her near to Him from the beginning in very intentional ways. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 instructs us, " And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These words I am commanding you today are to be upon your hearts. And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as reminders on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates ." God calls every part of us to be engaged in loving Him including our affection , thoughts , emotions , desires , resources , and stamina , not through thoughtless or rote worship. Created in His image, we are filled with various ways to creatively and purposely seek a deeper, meaningful walk with our Heavenly Father. We are obligated to m entor that love and purposed relationship to our children, and it is one of the highest gifts we can offer them . The greatest commandment Jesus teaches is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our strength . Is that what our culture teaches us? Does culture influence our children to do this? Quite the opposite . Parents must claim a firmer stand on the holy foundation of a strong and dedicated relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Seeking eternity through our mind , words , attitude , and actions can only be done when we strive to mature our walk with Jesus by engaging in His word , prayer time to speak to and listen for Him, and seeking Him through all daily events and activities. The Lord is present. Always . Imagine the spiritual world around us that we cannot see. Just as we never see the air we breathe, we live oblivious to what surrounds us. WIthout a relationship that captivates and propels us to seek Him more closely, to please and honor Him with all that we are and are becoming, life is truly meaningless. Ecclesiastes 1:14a says, " I have seen all the things that are done under the sun, and have found them all to be futile, a pursuit of the wind ." The pursuit of Christ over culture is a choice . What can you do right now to strengthen your walk with Him? How can He shine more clearly through you to influence the lives of children or grandchildren, family, friends, and strangers today? Do you belong to our beloved, Jesus . His desire is for you to fellowship with Him in complete trust and surrender. We must each evaluate our life, lifestyle, and choices against the truth of God's word and the Holy Spirit living within us. Is your desire for Him or the culture of this world ?

Earlier this week I heard words that I knew might one day be said. In 15 years of adoptive parenting, they had never been spoken to me. “ You’re not my real mom .” Instead of pain, my first thoughts were “ How can I help her ? What is going on inside her mind and spirit ?” Always so good with eye contact, my youngest did not meet my eyes this time. Even when we received her as ours after meeting for the first time in China, she had perfect eye contact. In fact, her gaze was so impressive that I knew we had a fireball in our family. I remained calm and kept my voice gentle. “Why do you say that?” I asked. “Why do you say I’m not your real mom?” “ Because you are wearing make up today ,” she said. I began to laugh. I couldn’t help it. My youngest loves to stay home . Her perfect day includes me waking her up in the morning wearing no makeup and my “stay home” clothes. Yes, there is a distinct difference in the way I look at home and when I go out in public. Comfy clothes are all I wear at home. Not pajamas, but close – soft and warm clothes. Brooklyn wears her pajamas all day – every day, unless we go out. This was her unique way of telling me how dissatisfied she was with me . After hugging, I explained to her that I knew she didn’t like to go to the doctor. I promised her it would be an easy visit and that we could stay home – without makeup – the next day. The next morning after awakening her (of course in my no makeup, stay home attire), I asked her if her “real mommy” was back. She smiled and told me, “Yes. Mommy likes to stay home with me.” It’s so important for us to dig deep into the messages we hear . This world sends so many false messages . As I have matured in my walk with Christ, He has enabled me to get better at letting Him discern what I believe and how I control my responses. It is so important for us to read and study His word daily so that we are not controlled by our flesh . We can make time for what we deem important, and even fifteen minutes of study will increase our desire to know and follow where God calls. As we make His word a priority, we establish Him as a priority . Life can be so difficult and confusing . The only anchor we have is Jesus . Our responses, desires, and attitude, as well as actions are all a direct result from the time we spend with Him. We have to know our beliefs in order to live them . Our Savior must be alive inside of us in order for us to reflect Him. Things are not always what they appear to be. Words are not always defined by our interpretation. Let Jesus be the One to guide and influence what you prioritize, believe, and how you respond . He alone will keep us from being deceived in this world full of lies.

Walking Beau in my neighborhood on a day with warm weather reminded me of how I used to set up lemonade stands in my driveway. I always had lemonade, cookies, and a smile ready. Lemonade stands will always hold a special place in my heart. They encouraged my entrepreneurial spirit, and connected me with sweet customers who kindly took time to notice and purchase from a young girl, enabling me to learn how to save enough to buy my next mall purchase, or special treat, but most importantly, those hot summer days outside my little old house encouraged my walk with Christ. Tithing has, and always will be, an important way for me to give to God. After every business day (lemonade stands may not be a 9-5, but they felt just as important to me), I took at least 10 percent of my profits to church on Sundays. I learned that tithing was a way to show Christ everything we earn is from, and should be for Him. My parents brought even more meaning into the act of tithing, because they gave to God, even in trying times. They have taught me that money is temporary, but glorifying God in our actions will strengthen our eternal relationship Him. As the years have gone by, there have been times where it felt as though tithing was simply routine, but as I am writing this, I am reminded that it is a form of worship, & a symbol of a small debt we owe to Him compared to His ultimate sacrifice. - Marissa

Each year in the month of November, I feel a special need to reflect on the goodness of God with deeper gratitude for His perfect plans and the way He grafted our family and home through adoption. Of course, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but for me, the reflection begins earlier as the month approaches and my subconscious mind reminds me that November is National Adoption Month. Since I've had the blessing of being a bio and an adoptive mom, I can confidently share that there is absolutely no difference in the depth of love I carry for any of my children. In my heart, they each came to me as gifts from God. It doesn't matter whether they formed within my body or came from the womb of another. The truth is that each of my children were assigned to me and are here on loan from my Heavenly Father, who knew before the beginning of time what four children He would entrust to me. With Great Detail With great detail and love, God even created biological characteristics that my bio children carry within both of my children from China. These same characteristics reside in my body. The evidence is clearly remarkable. God creates families with intentional , personal , detailed care. His plans and purposes shine more brightly than anything we can imagine. Adoptive parents care so much about the grafting of families because it doesn't come easily. With each graft comes preparation, planning, and purpose. Even though I went through the process of pills and shots to conceive my second child, I still took motherhood for granted the first two times. Overall, it was easy to have my children and bring them home from the hospital. No one ever stopped us in stores to ask prying, intrusive questions because their skin was a slightly different color than mine. No one remarked about their looks. I never had to think about the best ways to ensure that my children recognized me as their mother, depended on me for love and protection, or wonder when events might trigger past trauma I knew nothing about or how I could help a child trapped in a meltdown of trying to process emotions. I never had to wonder whether my child would bond and attach to me or how to make them trust that I would do absolutely anything for them. Through God The most amazing miracles happen when we trust our Father to create a family. I never thought about the holiness of adoption until after I began walking the road that led me on this beautiful journey. My Savior, my Jesus, the One I yearn to follow and please, was also adopted. My Heavenly Father purposed adoption into His plan from the beginning . He knew the brokenness of this world and the humans living within. God knew the Way, the Truth, and the Life must come from the humblest of beginnings to reach everyone with the truth of His purposed love and mercy. Even more, the gift continues through the beauty and truth of the gospel and how we are redeemed and adopted into God's family. Adoption isn't the story of those society thought had no life; it is the story of how we are all meant to come to life. New Life In the same way a plant or tree hosts and encourages new life through a graft, my heart and home have learned the power of purposed care. I know that the root stock has to be firmly and healthily established before the two plants may grow together as one. Without the saving grace of my Father, I am nothing. Through Him, I am everything needed to reach my children where God knows they hurt and what they need. God has provided and protected my family each step of the last two decades. My reliance on self has dwindled as I revel in the care of my Father. Through the work He purposes through me, I have seen tender growth from barrenness, beauty from ashes, and witnessed love blossom and flourish from dry ground. Tender roots that sought nourishment have been revived and strengthened to deeply stretch into the rich soil of His grace, mercy, and provision. He makes all things new because He is the Author and Giver of Life. Merciful Transformation As I continue to look to Him to transform my character, mind, and heart daily, He allows me to be the mentor my children need as I draw them nearer to Him . I am the mother He entrusted to raise them with His loving kindness and beauty of spirit. God didn't call me to parent two children from halfway around the world with no plan. He created the blueprint of our home and happiness when He created them to come to me. He knew He could trust me to call on His strength and direction, His purpose and protection in all I do. The most beautiful truth is that He will do the same for every one of us. Whether it be a child in need, a wayward son or daughter, a difficult relationship with a spouse, in-law issues, or whatever trials this world brings, He is present and He is enough. November brings awareness of National Adoption Month, but for me, it always carries a reminder of how much I have to be grateful for. Just as Thanksgiving should remind us of how blessed we are to even take our first morning breath, I pray this month exhibits how deeply our Father loves . How far He sees, how far our Father extends mercy . How intimately our Father provides . May the blessings and reminders of this month prepare you for Christmas and enable you to revel in the joy and beauty of a future with Christ because God chose to send His perfect, sinless Son to show us the way to Him and adopt us into His Forever Family. May your roots extend into deeper, richer soil as you allow Him to graft His Holy Spirit into your broken body and provide in intimate, personal ways only He can know and you can trust one moment at a time.

I still remember the difficult nights that I awakened at 4am to feed my middle daughter. At 44 years old, those sleep disturbed nights were tough! Since I had already raised two children, I knew this was simply a season, but months of broken rest left me exhausted. However, one night stands out as reminder of God's presence and provisions. As I rocked my sweet baby in the moonlit corner of her bedroom that early morning, I kept my sleep-deprived mind busy envisioning our future. Because I had brought her home from China when she was ten months of age, I felt like we had already lost precious time. After reflecting on what I felt we had missed together, I felt a shifting of thoughts within me. Instead of contemplating what I considered lost, I began to focus on all that we had to look forward to together. Photo by Nicki Griffith Photography I began praying for our future together. I even prayed for our home - the literal house we lived in. We had already raised our son and first daughter in our home. It was a sufficient three bedroom, one bathroom side-to-side split level that had been filled with memories created and captured over 22 years. However, the particular floor plan we lived in did not have a profile easy to add to, and it left us wondering if we should finally make the move to another place. That night as I gently rocked, talked, and sang to my girl, I petitioned God. If it was His will that we ever move, I asked Him to show us His path. I wasn't sure if it was selfishness or submission, but I began listing all the features I would love if we ever found a new home. Sharing my heart in this way felt good. I knew God already knew my deepest desires, but I also knew He understood even more deeply what I needed. He knew the plans He had for me, my husband, our grown children, and our beautiful baby. He held plans for us that had been ordained before the beginning of time. Beautiful plans were already established, and only God knew where we should be living and for what special purposes. As I prayed the desires for my dream house out loud to God, I envisioned the space. It wasn't the grandest home I could request, but it was certainly a larger and more convenient floor plan. Especially because it had more than one bathroom! Adding more of that modern convenience was the number one necessity in my mind. Although I didn't need it, I also requested a home office. For some reason, it had always been a secret desire, a place to set aside for important purposes. As time passed, we began looking for a new home. Nothing seemed to be the right fit until we found a story and a half that seemed perfect. At the last minute the contract fell through because the bank wouldn't let the seller continue. When I asked our realtor if she could find another home with that floor plan or one similar, she began a search that eventually led us to the exact plan! The day we toured the home was so exciting, but we didn't choose to purchase the place. In the same neighborhood there was a home that was similar, but larger, with all of the tiny, insignificant details only God knew were in my heart. God knows our deepest desires and our needs. We've now lived in that home for 17 years. In it, we've hosted ministry meetings, Bible studies, adoption groups, overnight visitors, and ministries for God. One of the upstairs bedrooms became a playroom that delighted my middle daughter for years and helped us bond and attach so naturally. Because her bedroom and playroom held such inspiration, she implements that youthfulness into the artwork she creates through Melane & Co. Melane & Co. Custom Pet Portraits Hello Deer Print My middle daughter, Marissa. My office allows me to easily produce two podcasts that honor the Lord and I create courses and various items that point to Him. We've also adopted again and have enough bathrooms and bedrooms to easily fit this lifestyle God granted with so much love and grace. Our youngest, Brooklyn. Could we have done the same things in our old home? Absolutely! But only God knew that moving to our new house would allow us to meet the people who have become important in our life. The neighbors, churches, and community events we wouldn't have be a part of if we had stayed where we were living were meant to be what continued growing us in Him and maturing our family with those He intended. Nothing is too insignificant for God. Nothing is impossible or beyond His understanding and goodness. When we humbly come with a desire to please and honor Him, He sees and hears the cries and desires of our heart. Sometimes it is exactly what we requested. Other times it is not. Each time He listens, He cares, and He offers us His very best for the situation and to bring us nearer to Him. Now that same rocking chair I used so many nights ago sits in my bedroom instead of the nursery. It is the same rocker I sit in every morning to spend quiet time with God after awakening, the same chair that I use to cuddle under a warm blanket and speak to God before the day begins. This chair of many prayers has proven my Father is faithful to me; He is faithful to you. He still listens and He still goes before each of us, surprising and surpassing with His ability to carry us exactly where we need to go and carrying us in His mighty arms as we trust Him to travel and prepare the road before us. 2022 photos by Jenny Shipley

Parenting is the hardest job anyone can imagine. Trying to parent with a godly heart and mindset is even more challenging. If you are a believer, like I am, not only must you develop a relationship with the Lord, but allow Him access to your heart, mind, and spirit in ways that transform you and your child. Matthew 18:6 says, "If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Scripture is clear in warning us that we must travel any length to avoid being a stumbling block in the faith of a young believer or child. This warning is clearly stated so that we never misunderstand or forget God's command. This makes the beauty of innocence as necessary for adults as it is for children. Just as our child will rapidly grow and mature, we should be changing daily. We should intentionally be working to ensure that we are never the same person tomorrow that we are today. Just as we carry the honor and privilege of guiding our children in the way they should live, we must consider the weighty responsibility we hold to be an upright mentor. Most parents fall into the category of "good" parents, but how many can claim the title of godly parents? Ezekiel 18:4a says, "For everyone belongs to me, the parent as well as the child—both alike belong to me." Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." These beautiful verses prove that the children we have been blessed to receive truly belong to God and we are merely the stewards He has chosen for such a time as this. This understanding shows mothers how critical it is to cultivate and create innocence and joy in the home. How does innocence fall into this area of parenting? Freedom from sin or moral wrong is the first definition that pulls up under the word, "innocence" in the dictionary. How can parents live a life that exemplifies innocence? Only through seeking, finding, studying, and following Jesus will we begin to undergo character transformation that pleases our Heavenly Father and influences our children for Him. Cultivate & Create Innocence & Joy Your home is a very influential place, holding one key to guarding your children. What you allow into your home holds you responsible for the effects your children will face. One of the areas parents sometimes forget while focusing on friends, electronics (games, computer, phone, iPad, apps, etc.), books and magazines, television shows or movies is what your children also view daily on the walls and shelves of home. Home should be a shelter from the world (for you and your children). One of the first memories a child carries is the décor of the home they grow up in. What you surround your children with stays embedded in their mind, the impressions helping to shape who and what they become. Perhaps your family travels and you have artifacts from various countries. Maybe the people in your home are curious learners because you kept shelves filled with books on a variety of topics. Maybe the walls of your home are neutral or colorful, but the carefully chosen artwork displayed creates simplicity that fosters sweet innocence or a love for nature and gentleness of character. Future character and values are important guides to how you should decorate. Qualities you want to foster in your children will be built by many sources. Remember the walls of your home and the pieces you display on shelves when you craft the atmosphere of your home. The very nature of your child and their eternal presence are influenced by everything you allow to grace your home. Let innocence and light guide the way you present décor. Originally published by Terri on melaneandco.com

Hi, it's Marissa here! You may know me from seeing me on Mom's social media pages, listening to my podcast episode with Mom, in real life, or are just finding us now. However you found this blog post, I want to give you a warm welcome! I have many special memories of reading with my mom as I grew up. I'd like to share some of the most memorable books. Of course, I have read many books since I first read these, but there’s just something so special about the books you had when you were small. If you’re looking for some quality one on one time with your little ones, a wonderful place to begin is picking up a good book, snuggling up together, and begin a story that you can share with each other. After picking out these books, I found each represents love in wonderful ways: Have You Got My Purr? This is a sweet reminder of the unbreakable bond between a mother and child. I remember the way I loved hearing Mom change her voice for all of the characters. Plus, the illustrated animals are absolutely adorable. My Little Girl My grandmother gave me this book when I was five, and it has been on my bookshelf ever since. This book is filled with adorable animals and some of the cutest artwork, but most importantly, this story paints a beautiful picture of a father/daughter relationship. The Princess and the Three Knights This picture book truly touched me at a young age, and it is still dear to me. Not only is the elegant artwork absolutely stunning, but the message Kingsbury portrays is a priceless lesson for your princes and princesses. Mom and I spent plenty of time in the library when I was younger. She carried a large book bag that held all of the books we had checked out to our car, then when we returned home we would sit the bag full of stories with brightly-colored pages right by our comfy couch and snuggle up together. Mom and I spent hours upon hours reading through these stories, many read over and over. One of my favorite parts of our time together was when we discovered new books with beautiful artwork that inspired me. Remember that time when you were a child and were able to look at children's books filled with sweet animals and nature scenes. Life was filled with sweet simplicity, and it still can be. If I hadn’t been immersed with creativity from these kinds of sweet stories, I may not have the same perspective or brand mission for Melane & Co. Creating prints, cards, and custom pet portraits for you and your family to be surrounded with that simple, inspiring innocence of a child is our mission. We can each be inspired from the special moments, stories, and people in our lives. Reading with the little ones you love includes all three. - Marissa

When I parented my first set of children years ago, I was barely more than a child myself. My parenting was influenced by the way I was raised and of course, by what I desired to change. Most everyone likes or dislikes certain aspects of their childhood or the way their parents chose to raise them. My wish was to create a home that was quite different , while still keeping some of the traditions my parents created. Although I wasn't sure how to define it, I desired a home of excellence , but not in the way the world would describe it. Since I was not raised in a Christian home, I didn't come to have a personal relationship with Jesus until I was in my twenties. Even then, my discipleship road was rocky and uneven. I definitely loved the Lord, but in hindsight, truly wish I would have intentionally grown and deepened my walk daily instead of traveling the twisting journey my faith took through my ignorance. The main reason I wish things had been different? My children. This was the biggest area of change I wanted for my family. Purposed relationship with Jesus would be the key that set the dynamics of my family apart and would give us the strong relationships and intimacy I deeply desired (and knew that the Lord wanted for us). Now that I am raising my second set of children, and I have walked with Jesus for decades longer than the first time, (especially having lived through hardships and blessings that have shaped and molded my beliefs and trust more intimately and intricately than mere words can convey), my strong faith and relationship with Christ are the most important valuables I treasure. There is nothing more that I want to shine and share with my children than the beauty and blessings of a true, deep life led by Jesus . So how does a mother do that? " Praise Him for His mighty acts; praise Him for His excellent greatness ." Psalm 150:2 In all things, hard or easy, known or unknown, large or small, joyous or disappointing, decide to praise Him . 1. Praise Him with all that is in you. Reflect the Lord in your thoughts , actions , reactions , and words Make Him known and welcome in all areas of life so that your life reflects Him , in and with, all you are, and do. If we honor God and praise His excellent greatness, we are choosing to pursue excellence . When we praise Him, despite curcumstances, even death loses its sting. 2. Pursue Him . The pursuit of God is central to my parenting. When my children see me seek God, talk to, and listen for God, they recognize obedience. When they see me choose to know, honor, and obey God; when I invite Him into our daily life, they do the same. When a mother pursues Christ, she mentors the pursuit of Jesus to her children. 3. Prioritize Him. Relationship with Christ should not come across as a chore or an item to check off your list, but as an expression of love and privilege . Where is your personal relationship with Christ now? Where do you want it to be? Do you have a plan to get there? Where is your relationship with your child? Where do you want it to be? What is your plan to get it there? Pursue God together. In every day life. Right now. Seek Him together. Make God known through every activity , in the exchanges you share with your child. In the actions your children see you make each day. As you intentionally and consistently read God's word together, seek answers together, and pray together, a strong bond develops and expands with Christ and your precious child. Ecclesiastes 4: 7-12 says, " Again, I saw futility under the sun. There is a man all alone, without even a son or brother. And though there is no end to his labor, his eyes are still not content with his wealth: “For whom do I toil and bereave my soul of enjoyment?” This too is futile—a miserable task. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken ." As you and your child or children pursue the excellence of God together , your relationship develops the strength and durability of a three-fold cord. You are not with your child by chance. With God, your relationship has the strength of the trinity , the ultimate three-fold cord. God promises to honor the work we do with a pure heart of love for Him. Raising our children or granchildren to pursue Christ will not be work completed in vain. When you and your child face life, reliant on Christ and His mighty direction and provisions together, a supernatural comfort, companionship, and conservation is found. What Christ builds will not be destroyed. Rest in, and believe, that God's word is truth. Trust that He is working within you as you seek Him and rely on His strength and power. If you exercise the grace and love of God and insert Him into His rightful place each moment, He becomes a living trust for your child or grandchild to follow. Not because they are forced to, but because Christ has become real , tangible , and known . Your pursuit of Christ offers insight for your child, a deposit for the life he will build for himself. Begin or continue allowing Him to work within and through you. Rewards will come along the way through joy , peace , and connection with Jesus and your child, but the best blessings are being stored for the yet unseen future where you will be able to exist in true bliss as you joyfully experience Jesus with your child for eternity. Pursue excellence. What Christ constructs through your obedient and loving pursuit will shine for generations to come.

Recently, I received an angry, vulgar message from a stranger. After reading his curse words and accusations about how I was brain-washing and ruining the lives of children by encouraging mothers to raise them to know Jesus, I stopped to praise God for this person. Why? Because it gave me the opportunity to see his pain and allowed me to stop and pray for him right then. I don't know his story, but God does. Our Heavenly Father knows every heartache and joy this person has ever had. He knows what emotions drive the cruel words and the reason he feels them. God knows whether or not this person will ever be saved by the sacrifice Jesus made. My prayer is that he will. Luke 6:22 says, " Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man ." Yesterday this stranger unknowingly sent me a blessing . Because I am faithfully allowing truth, hope, and encouragement to flow from my heart and words, and I am attempting to obediently follow where I believe God is calling, this person saw my message and hated me for it. What I shared went against what many people in this world choose to believe. More and more people are speaking out against godly values and morals, while less and less speak the truths of and for Jesus. How long will Christians keep silent? God is calling me to allow Him to work through me even more . If you are a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, then He is calling you to more, too. If others use the freedom to speak against Jesus, we must exercise our right to speak for Him. Christians have been complacent ; we've been lazy . We are at risk of losing our right to worship, freely express beliefs, and follow the Lord without fear of retaliation. Why is it allowable for non-believers to spew hate and lies, but they cannot tolerate the freedom for believers to say or show what we desire? I am not angry at those who make the choice to reject Jesus. That decision is strictly between them and God. However, Christians deserve the same treatment to exercise our first amendment right. It is time for each of us to search our heart . What do we truly believe? Who do we follow? Would we rather chase Jesus or the ungodly culture we live in? Our children and unbelievers are watching us. What will they see ? If we do not stand for Jesus, we stand against Him. Have you obediently followed Christ with a passion ? Did you know the word "passion" isn't just a strong feeling or desire? The Latin meaning of "passion" is to suffer , bear , or endure . Exactly the sacrifice Jesus made for us. Why aren't most Christians living with a passion to obediently follow and share Him, despite the cost? Joshua 24:14-15 says, " Now, therefore, fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth; cast aside the gods your fathers served beyond the Euphrates and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if it is unpleasing in your sight to serve the Lord, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord !” It's okay to be criticized. “ If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me ." John 15:18-21 When people make accusations, spread lies, misunderstand us, spew hateful words at us, or attack us, we must remember that Jesus understands. He has already faced anything we can receive. Do we want to be attacked? Of course not! Yet, we know that the boldness we show for Christ will attract the cruel and reckless comments and actions of those against Jesus. What peace and joy that truth provides! What we allow God to produce through us is for Him . John 15:1-11 says, " I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow !" As we mature our walk with God through Jesus, we should never want to remain the same person from day to day. I urge you to view your life with eternal perspective. What are your end goals? What are your beliefs about eternity? If you rest in assurance through Jesus, your goal should be to glorify and honor God more each day. You should expect to awaken a new person every morning because your faith and obedience has shifted your heart and mindset closer to His in every way. Allow God to release a passion inside you for Him. Seek Him and a deeper walk and relationship . He is faithful to give new life , hope , and joy to those who desire Him , no matter the circumstances we endure, as we allow Him to direct and carry us. Romans 15:13 says, " I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. " Be passionate! Let us purpose to live by the passionate power of the Holy Spirit alive inside us! Galatians 5:22-25 offers this promise and command, " But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to His cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives." Allow Him to shine through you more clearly each day as you strive to allow Him to mold and shape you into a new creation moment by moment. May your life never be the same as it was yesterday because you are not the person you were before. May Christ be more alive in you! That is my prayer for me, as well. Hallelujah !

My mom receives many questions from parents with teens, so I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to give you insight from one! My name is Marissa, a model & the Co-Founder of Melane & Co., a business I run alongside my mom. Building a brand with my mom is a blessing, & you can listen to my thoughts about our partnership here. My mom is one of my biggest supporters, business partner, & one of my best friends. We are very much alike, so much so that we typically say the same thing the same time. Many people have said our personalities & smiles are the same, & our sense of style is almost identical, as well. Although we are very much alike, we are not the same person, & even though we can usually read each other’s minds, we have to communicate, listen, & continue spending time together to ensure we are on the same page as a brand, in our mindsets, & especially for our mother/daughter relationship. Which, leads me to the meaning of this blog post. How to understand & grow a closer bond with a teen. 1. Keep Communicating One of the best ways to keep a strong relationship with another person is to communicate. When words are left unsaid, it can be impossible for anyone else to understand expectations, intentions, emotions, and situations. In the same way that we must keep communication lines with Jesus to grow closer to Him, we also have to keep talking to our loved ones to build our relationships. 2. Listen In many areas of our lives, we need someone to simply listen to us. Whether we need to talk, or we need someone to watch our actions, we need someone to listen as much as we communicate. Keep in mind that, sometimes, when your loved one seems frustrated or hurt, it does not necessarily mean that their actions are the result of something you did, but another struggle in their life. I believe this is especially expressed by people my age. That is why it is important to keep communication lines open, while also listening to one another. 3. Spend Time Together If you want to communicate & listen with your loved one, you must spend time together. Take a walk together every other day, or go out once a week. Just spend time together. Remember, some teens need a little more time with someone before they begin to communicate, so keep being the supportive & wonderful parent you are. 4. Pray Pray for your relationship to grow. Only Jesus fully knows your teen’s heart, so be specific with your requests, & keep believing you & your teen will grow together through Jesus. I hope these pieces of insight from a teen for your teen to help you grow your relationship. Blessings, Marissa

In a world of confusion, those who know God through a relationship with Jesus, understand that His word can be trusted. God's words break strongholds, offer hope and promises, bring clarity, and exhibit His sovereign power and authority. Psalm 33:4-9 says, "For the word of the Lord is right, And all His work is done in truth. He loves righteousness and justice; The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord. By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, And all the host of them by the breath of His mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap; He lays up the deep in storehouses. Let all the earth fear the Lord; Let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him. For He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast." Our God walks with us, living inside us through the power of the Holy Spirit He deposits in those who trust in Him. With loving care, God has planned and fashioned each of us, knowing full well who will fear, love, and desire Him. Because His caring eyes are always watching, God knows when to administer the love and help we need in the exact fashion that will allow us to draw nearer to Him, if only we release our control and allow His work. Psalm 33:13-15 says, "The Lord looks from heaven; He sees all the sons of men. From the place of His dwelling He looks On all the inhabitants of the earth; He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works." Where do you need Him this moment ? He calls you Beloved and longs to comfort and care for you. The Christian journey isn't a one-time acceptance of Jesus as Savior. We are called to draw nearer every moment . We need Him; how we need Him every single second. Whether we realize it or not. He always waits patiently for us to rise to the next level of trust and release our unsteady control to Him, so that He can carry our burdens and deepen our walk with Him. Joy and peace await us when we allow Him to carry us through the darkness. God's word calls to us with truth , promises , hope, and light . Immerse yourself in the One who created and cares for you with an everlasting love that cannot be matched. Make time to invest in His word. Come to know the Father through reading and studying His word. As you draw nearer to Him, God draws nearer to you. I know because His word promises us. Light always pierces and overcomes darkness. Let the Creator of Light fill you now .

What did 2020 mean to you? Most people agree that 2020 was not the year they hoped for. But does it mean that it was the worst year ever? For many, it probably was. There may have been deaths in the family, of dreams, the loss of a job, or income. 2020 was a mess financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for many people. The year challenged us, stretching our patience, resolve, mindset, attitude, gratefulness, and relationships. 2020 helped others to draw nearer to Him, to seek resillience through Him, and to cling closer to the Lord, His teachings, and family. Challenges prove what exists in our heart. Life brings so much we cannot handle and even precious moments are often bittersweet. Matthew 6:34 says, “ So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today ." We will always have trouble. Life has treated most people, especially here in the United States so well that many crumble at the slightest bit of trouble. We want our days to be smooth and easy, because they usually are. The truth is that this world is not meant to be our home and we were warned that it would be challenging and burdensome. John 16:33 says, " I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world .” Instead of lamenting over hardships, let us feel the loss, pain, or troubles, then release the grip they threaten over us. Accept trials on our knees with eyes fixed above with a humble grace that only comes from following Jesus. Can we remember the troubles Jesus faced and expect to travel through our life unscathed? On the most difficult and painful days, we can still choose to abide in the hope and promises of Jesus. Romans 8:38-39 says, " For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord ." No matter what tomorrow holds, we are secure through the One who is ready to guide and carry us. Rest in His arms. His strength is more than sufficient for every one of our needs. Look Up to the Lord with intentional focus on a lifetime with Him, and craft habits and lifestyle changes that reflect a desire to make each moment matter for eternity. What is the one thing that will carry us well through this year, despite what may occur? The same fact that will carry us for the rest of our lives and into eternity. Jesus. Would you like this year to be the one that cemented your mindset on eternity? Are you ready to see how each moment matters in ways we neglect to consider in the course of a day? James 4:8a promises, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Choose to know Jesus in a deeper way this year. Allow His mindset to become your own. Troubles fade in the light of His glory, grace, and provisions.

In a country that has been pulling away and squabbling within itself, the Corona virus may become a surprising unification for our nation. Will a pandemic force us to “love others as yourself?” It has no doubt already caused the best and worst of people to be exposed. Jesus commands us to “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these .” Mark 12:30-31 In a land of plenty, even when we hit hard times, most of us in the United States live with a sense of entitlement and expectation. It’s so easy to fill our needs without thought of anyone else. This week we have seen stories of people purchasing hundreds of items such as disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizers, and face masks, scooping up all available quantities in wide areas just so that they can sell them with hefty up charges, making exorbitant profits with no thought or care about others who cannot get what they need to preserve health or take caution with life-threatening conditions. In contrast, I read a post about an elderly woman who, although in need of milk, sees only one carton in the store and leaves it for another. “Perhaps a mother with children will come in,” she says. Her heart is heavy and willing to put aside her desires for someone with more need . The only way our heart can purposely put another ahead of or before us is through humbly obeying the Holy Spirit when He lives within us . Whether you are Republican, Democrat, or Independent, I think one thing Christians will agree on is the need for a National Day of Prayer. I am thankful President Trump has declared this day, March 15, 2020 as a National Day of Prayer . It doesn’t matter whether a citizen voted for him, whether or not I like him as a person, or whether they agree with everything he does as President. What matters is that God has allowed President Trump to be in authority over our country . God calls us to bow to Him first, then respect those in authority over us . The President deserves our support . Will you please join with our nation in prayer today ? I am honored to kneel with my family to pray for our country and all of us - the blessed people living in this nation and world that God has created. May our: H earts be opened to the needs of others. W ords be softened toward one another. A ctions reflect those pleasing to our Lord. May we: Spend the extra time some have right now to invest and grow in Him and teach Jesus more clearly to others. Let our children see clear models of Him as we step through the coming days as a nation united, not divided .

Grief. What is it, really? When we imagine the word, the pain is deep, wide, and brutal. The technical term for grief, as described in the dictionary is: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. a cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow. Yesterday I learned that for me, it marks sorrow . Although the news we received from the cardiologist about my precious daughter was not what we wanted, I know it could be much worse. Yet, I had to allow myself to grieve. Many things. I had to face the unknown answers to ugly questions I try not to think about daily. Because I want to walk in humble and blind obedience to You. I want my gaze to remain lifted to You . Blinders on to distractions. Yesterday facts attempted to shatter my peace. Realities of this world forced me to consider complex questions. Will she reach adulthood? How much longer will she enjoy life without more suffering? Will we always make the best choices for her? Are we going to lose another child? Although once a neglected orphan, the Lord has never let my precious girl out of His sight. The truth is that she will never be outside of His care. I know without a shadow of doubt Who is in control of the situation. My prayers must continue to guide me and help me stay connected to my Heavenly Father. Faith and trust will carry me through. I know Who holds today and tomorrow in the palm of His mighty and loving hand. Still, after knowing and understanding these truths, I needed time to process the news and my emotions after the surprising cardiology visit. Romans 9:2 pens the depth of my spirit. “ I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart .” I hurt so deeply for what my daughter will one day endure as her heart slowly fails. I hurt tremendously for many things in this world. My mind cannot fathom the depth of the distress and sorrow our Heavenly Father feels daily . He loves each of us so much more than we can comprehend. Although I know this, the truth sunk in even more deeply yesterday as I humbly bowed to the Lord in brokenness and grief. When I keep my focus on You , Lord, I am always comforted and my heart is put at ease. You know every single emotion and thought I have and completely understand . God, thank you that I am privileged enough to be the mother of my special needs child. Thank you so much for your gift of my precious daughter. You knew at the beginning of time that she would one day fill my arms and heart. You alone will guide and direct me in the ways You desire us to care for and love her. When I see the way she looks at me , I see Your love reflected. As I instruct her in daily life, I see Your actions as she continues to grow in empathy and love for others. When she obeys our teachings, I see the way You have worked through me to teach her the love You hold for her . My girl is learning to love and honor You so much that she takes pleasure in obedience and adores me like a treasure. Oh,Lord, the gift and joy that brings me . It all comes from You . God, I don’t understand what is in store for us, for her . Yet, my spirit tells me You are not done with us. You are not finished with her. As I travel each day, I consistently search for the treasures you send. Thank you for a physician who is proactive. We are grateful for health care. Thank you for our sweet girl who trusts everything we do. At one time, she did not know us, just as we did not know you, Jesus. Now she trusts all we do. Just as I am to trust You . Lord, thank you for daily reminders of how much deeper our love and trust can go to You as we continue in humble surrender and obedience moment by moment. I am committed to following You. The peace I feel today is solid . There are no tears. I know You hold the key. You are worthy to be praised. My faith does not falter. My trust does not waver. I do not have to ponder the possibilities. Instead, I choose to focus my heart and mind Up to You. You call me to trust . My heart knows Your truth. You have carried me through hard before. You will continue to. For You have never forsaken me. Not once. You never will. Help me shine You boldly to others. May I be a light attracting many to You . Thank you for trials that deepen my trust and dependence on You . Obstacles are opportunities that drive me to You in deeper ways. Allow me and my family to remain on our knees before You . Go before our every need. Bless the life of my child and allow her to shine You as only she can as she walks the path You created for her. God, the endless gifts You have bestowed on me leave me breathless. May I be worthy of sharing and caring for them. For her . Luke 12:48b says, “ From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked .” I am immensely grateful.

Have you ever started a day with big plans? Huge goals? Or even tiny steps toward something? Then life happened. It became increasingly clear that those amazing things you scheduled were not going to happen . Last week was like that for me. My girls got up early every single day . I got up earlier and earlier to be able to get things accomplished. So they got up earlier. It seems they had their own things to do. They had big goals on their agenda, too. I knew that in the midst of what seemed inconvenient to me, God was working His plans . Problems are opportunities to submit in need and trust . The thing is, while I adore spending time with my girls, I was also trying to complete something I knew God was calling me to do. But His first requirement for me is to care for His children. It doesn’t mean that I have to be at their beck and call. But it does mean that I am required to love them. Where they are and how they need it. When they need it. Loving them means I look for God working in unexpected ways . We sometimes shut Him out by not recognizing or embracing our obstacles and interruptions as gifts . Goals are important. But the gifts we have in front of us right now are present for a purpose . Yes, gifts. Obstacles and unexpected plans are gifts. We just do not view them that way yet. We have to strike a balance. Maybe you’re not yet a parent. Or maybe you’re past the years of raising children. The same theory applies. The plans we set are secondary to what God is designing for our lives . He is the architect. We are the apprentices . Opportunities are not convenient. Why should hardships or setbacks be? Our mindset makes a difference . I want the mind of Christ to rule the plans I set for my life. Interruptions are what we make them. They will bless us or curse us. I choose what God sees as blessings .

Life sometimes feels like everything is falling apart at once. Sometimes it actually is . Never doubt that God is in control . The obstacles and disasters in our life have already been sifted through His hands . Nothing is a surprise for Him . We may be weathering a season, riding a storm. Cling to Him in the process . Learn from His gentle instruction and rest in the cover of His wings . Thankfully, seasons come and go. But if the chaos comes into our lives because we do something that attracts it, the pattern will continue. Until we find a proven method of change and support . James 1:25 tells us, “ But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does .” Simply reading or hearing God’s word has no lasting effect on our lives . We have to absorb and act on what we read or hear. We have to allow God’s words and teachings to penetrate what we currently believe and respond to. Changing the way we handle problems that arise, the way we respond to others, choosing to humble ourselves, admit when we are wrong, and work with others to rectify disagreements or misunderstandings in ways that honor God and indicate our desire for Him to transform us in every area of our life proves that God is welcome to live within us and breathe new life into the cracks of our earthly vessel. We must desire and permit God’s word to transform us . “If you abide in my word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. ” John 8:31b, 32 We are all students of life. Each day the world affects us in some way . Sometimes the changes are subtle. Sometimes they are calculated. But we all allow change to impact us daily, whether we realize it or not . Are you depressed or anxious and stuck in a rut of despair? What appears to be a cycle of inactivity is purposely cementing a cycle of progressively negative thoughts that will force your actions to comply. If your mind continues to fester and grow damaging negativity, your actions are forced to follow. Are you constantly active and striving to “do good,” but nothing seems to work out? Maybe that “good” isn’t what God has for you at this moment . Maybe He has another plan . W hen we intentionally seek God’s guidance, when we give Him control and partner with Him to change our lives, each day brings forth extraordinary transformation. Change does not come from our strength, but from His power executed within us . “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God .” 2 Cor. 3:5 The results are God-driven. He will uncover the deepest desires of our hearts that often we never even knew existed . “ Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him .” Psalm 37:7 Breathe in His wisdom and love. His guidance will carry you through the harshest storms of life. Draw nearer to Him so that He will draw nearer to you and you can experience joy in every life circumstance . Release and rely on Him.

What labels do you carry? What words thrown at you when you were young still stick in your mind? Do you carry hateful or uncaring sentences uttered by your partner? Do frustrated actions from your child cause you to doubt your worth? Maybe you are tormented by voices in your mind carrying memories or thoughts that shaped what you believe about life and yourself. Or maybe difficult or terrifying acts you have seen or that have been committed against you haunt your thoughts or dreams. No matter what triggers or scares you, if it comes from this world, it is false. Let’s call them what they really are: lies. Lies come from one source. It isn’t God. From the very beginning of humanity, Satan has twisted God’s truths and blessings into carefully crafted lies designed to lure us away from the joy and peace we are meant to possess. God’s word tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s word is what He says. God is truth. He cannot deceive . Anything less than God’s word is contrary to what He desires for you. Satan’s lies want us to believe that God is restrictive, that He doesn’t want us to have fun, and that He wants to control us. Or that He doesn't care about us. Satan will do anything to shift the focus onto how we feel and away from the truth of what God is truly saying , of what God is building , or redeeming , and from what God has in store for us. Once we let those lies fill our thoughts, they begin to dictate what we believe about ourselves and then they determine our actions. These actions affect what we allow into our lives, how we interact with others, and our walk with God. It often happens before we even realize it. But intentionally raising our awareness to the subtle ways these lies begin to take root will change the course of our future and our destiny, as well as the lives of those we love. How do we do that? By being steadfast in reading and studying, then believing the truths and power behind God's word and promises. Start intentionally recognizing the lies today in your life today. Lift them to God. Release them to the only One who can make true change. Experience His difference and craft a new beginning.

I am in a season of life where I’m needed a lot. I’m never alone. I’ve had the opposite. I’ve been through the season of life where I was frequently alone. After our first two children became adults and moved out on their own, my husband was in a place in his career where he traveled extensively. I vividly remember the lonely nights he had to be away. I prefer my life now. I recognize the beauty and privilege of molding and influencing lives for God here, in my full house. Today as we were walking through the house, Brooklyn pressed her cheek tightly to my back. “I am putting glue on my face and sticking to you ,” she told me. That’s exactly what God wants me to do. Glue myself to Him . In every way . No matter the season . No matter the storm . I can clearly see how each one of our hardships has brought me, and my family, closer to God . Each obstacle has proven how beautiful it is to allow myself to be held . I know that I’m never truly alone . Even someday, when Brooklyn stops following me absolutely everywhere, I won’t be alone. As Marissa continues to mature and develop into the young woman she is becoming, I will never be alone. John 15:4,5 tell us, “ Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing .” You and I are never alone when we look to the Lord . Cultivate your walk with Him. Not a moment is wasted. Abide in the Lord and experience the fullness of life He intends. Let Jesus be the adhesive that sticks you to God through every circumstance and joy.

Appreciation fills me as I awaken each mornin g. I immediately go to the Lord in prayer, thanking Him for another day .In my prayers, I thank Him for the food I will eat that day, for the comfortable temperature of my home, the shelter I am in, my clothes, my family. I ask Him to guide and time my day . Then I look for the many ways He answers . But this morning was a perfect example of how God ministers to each of us so individually . Although I am truly grateful for all I have, the Lord knows where, when, and how to deepen my understanding and gratitude. His discernment probes my innermost thoughts and attitudes . Our refrigerator has been out for a week. It was supposed to have been fixed yesterday, but the part is still not in. In the scheme of life, this is nothing. In our entitled lifestyle, this can feel like an inconvenience . Although we have an extra refrigerator in our garage, it is a trek to get across the space and through the items littered within the area. Our garage gets very cold in the winter. I have a major intolerance to cold. Where most people may feel a little cold in frigid temperatures, I actually feel pain . Within a few minutes of being exposed to cold temperatures, my bones begin to hurt . Since I have been working on my computer quite a bit more the last few months, my back has been causing some pain. As I went to the garage to get my breakfast this morning, I was reminded of so many ways I was blessed to have the difficulties . We have an extra refrigerator, so we still have access to fresh foods . I already dress in layers in side the house and I was thankful to wear so many clothing items in the cold garage . I had on thick, wool-lined socks, but was able to slip into the shoes my husband had left out before I crossed the cold garage floor. I didn’t see the shoes being out as a problem . My mind focused on the man who loves me so much . Although it twisted my back and I felt shoots of pain as I reached in the refrigerator for food, I was able to feel the pain . While juggling my food and struggling not to drop it before I made it back to the kitchen, my thanks were renewed at the fact that I had such a variety of items to eat. My fingers were freezing as I carried a jug of orange juice. I felt blessed that this refrigerator kept food so cold. I had not realized that my orange juice could taste so good . Thank you, God, for the inconveniences that stop us . Thank you for causing us to deepen our walk with You, our reliance on You, and our testimony of You . So many struggle to live without shoes, food, and shelter. Many do not have loved ones to care about them. Yet we all have one thing in common . We can all have You . We can choose to intentionally learn more of You and honor You daily . Life can leave us struggling with doubts and questions. Or it can send us directly to You . Mindset is a choice . Our attitude directly affects our gratitude . Thank you, Father for minor inconveniences that center us in bigger ways .

When I gave birth to my two biological children, I never considered bonding and attachment . The gift naturally occurred. In my defense, I was not a seasoned mother. I was only 18 when I delivered my first child and 21 when my second child was born. Yet, I wonder if all older mothers give much consideration to the fact that not all babies have the same beginnings in life. Even when a child stays with their birth family, there is still a need for intentional and purposeful bonding and attachment. When we adopted an infant from China 26 years after having our second child, we had obtained many years of parenting experience, as well as ongoing early childhood education on trauma, bonding, and attachment. Our eyes and hearts were opened wide by our innocent baby girl and the needs she carried. Then, we adopted again ten years later, and brought home an older child. We were as prepared as we could be . That doesn’t mean we had all the answers, but w e knew where to go . God has made all the difference. Each child is unique. Each family is unique. Each situation is unique. But I knew; God is always the same . He has carried us every step of the way . Our eyes and minds have been fixed on Him for wisdom, guidance, understanding, peace, love…everything. He makes all things possible . But not all things are easy . What undeserved blessings we have received! We've witnessed miracles. Loss and grief have mingled with new beginnings that only God could orchestrate. What brokenness we have watched God heal . I remember when we were newly home with our youngest. Her past had been heart-breaking. Only God can continue and complete the healing that must be finished in her lifetime. On this particular evening, she was wearing a sundress we had purchased from H&M and sent to her while we were waiting to bring her home. This thin, inexpensive dress cost us $5.00. It was something easy to purchase and send for her to wear while in China. It was not very attractive, yet meant everything to someone who never received new items. This inexpensive garment was beautiful to a little girl who never had the opportunity to wear or own something new . After we received her, she wore it as a nightgown. It was a compromise everyone was happy with. When we arrived in China, we had brought more clothing to give to her. Since we stayed over two weeks in China, we had begun a routine she was used to. After we returned home to the U.S., a new routine had to be established. Absolutely everything was foreign to our young daughter. We, who had been strangers until two weeks before, were now the most familiar thing she had. Except for the nightgown. One evening, I insisted she go to the bathroom before bed. She had not been to the restroom for several hours and I was unsure how she would do through the night. I knew she wouldn’t want to accidentally wet the bed. I didn’t want her to be embarrassed or ashamed. I didn’t know what type of punishment she may have endured in previous years for an accident like that. Although I didn’t force much, I persevered and made certain she visited the toilet. Our strong-willed youngest wanted to make sure she didn’t use the toilet. So although I walked her to the bathroom and made sure she sat on the toilet. She made sure she was not going to relieve herself. By the time I let her off the toilet, it had all gone downhill. She had squirmed and tried to move away from me and ended up dipping her backside into the toilet bowl, along with most of the dress that hung around her thin body. There was no way she could wear it to bed. It was almost completely soaked. I now had a full-blown meltdown on my hands. Our relationship has come a long way from that night. We’ve both changed. Three years has brought a lot of bonding and attachment. What we have achieved has been brought through a lot of work, attention, prayer, and blessings. I remember another time shortly after our youngest was home, she was having a melt-down. I was sitting on the floor of her bedroom with her. She was unable to tell me what she was feeling. How could she? Our language was strange; she had never heard it before coming to America. Everything was completely different for her. Her emotions told me she was frightened and she was grieving all that she knew and understood. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted her to realize that I wouldn’t leave her in the hard places. She would never be abandoned. She was treasured. It was hard . She wouldn’t let me hold her. She didn’t want to hear my voice. But, she let me sit near her. In fact, if I tried to move away, she wailed louder. She confirmed my instincts. I stayed close, thinking of the Casting Crowns song, “Just Be Held.” The song lyrics flowed through my mind, intermixed with fervent prayers. “ Hold it all together. Everybody needs you strong. But life hits you out of nowhere and barely leaves you holding on .” Yes. Both of us were trying to hold it together. She was struggling to find a way to keep her control . I was definitely praying as I sat with her or I would not be able to hold it together for her. It was extremely difficult to sit through all the wailing and not be able to do anything. My heart was breaking for all she was fighting and going through. “ And not a tear is wasted. In time, you’ll understand. I’m painting beauty with the ashes. Your life is in My hands .” More song lyrics came to mind. “ Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place. I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held. Just be held. Just be held .” If only she would just let go and be held, I thought. There’s no way she could know or understand the changes her life was undergoing. She couldn’t understand the depth of our love for her already. I had to make sure I let go and let God handle the situation . I knew I had no answers . I relied on Him to comfort her, unique to her needs, and individual to the plan He had for her life. I wanted her to realize that she was safe. That she could trust me - trust us. That with time, she could trust our love. God's love. Our family didn’t even know the way our love would deepen and evolve as we all bonded, attached, and grew together. Just as we cannot possibly fathom the love our Heavenly Father has for each one of us . He has a special love and relationship with each of us . We need to just let go and simply be held . Just accept . “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.” 1 John 3:1 My bright, beautiful, sensitive, humorous, caring daughter was not cherished in China because they did not recognize what a gift she is from the Father. The children who were mean to her did not know the Father. Most of the caregivers did not know Him. How could they recognize and adore her? After time with us, she was content to be held. In fact, she treasures family. How many of us resist God and struggle for years ? How many still do not release control and allow themselves to be held ? How many do not realize their worth through Him ? A beautiful, but sometimes painful fact is that as we believe we have released control in one area, there is another to work on . Often, even when we believe we have released control in an area, God allows us to continue digging deeper to release even more . Nothing we experience in life is wasted . Not even one tear is wasted . “Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll – are they not in your record?” Psalm 56:8 “Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red, brown, yellow, black, or white. They are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.” Just as he adores them as grown-ups . No matter what we think or do. Let yourself be held . Experience transformation through Him . He truly is (more than) enough for all of our needs.

I’m not a worrier. That doesn’t mean nothing bothers me. It means that I’ve trained my spiritual muscles to carry the loads of life. I’ve learned that worry offers me a choice . I either flex my faith muscles or I attempt to carry the burden alone . As humans, our first instinct is survival . We want to provide for ourselves. Which means we have to intentionally step back if we want to allow God into our lives in any capacity . Especially when it comes to worry . People often say worrying is natural. I say it’s taking life the easy way . It’s much harder to step back and allow God to handle the messes of life . Because it goes against the natural instincts we’ve developed. One of my favorite Bible passages comes from Psalm 62:5-8. “ My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” What a beautiful mindset to live with . It takes intentionality . God wants us to draw near to Him, and He will draw near to us . This world draws us away from Him. It is up to us to live in the world without being a part of the world. Life can bring so much worry . Or it can bring the opportunity to open our hands, and offer our life, to The One who can set us free from angst . After losing my oldest daughter, I found that worry crept at the door of my heart. I did not want to open that door . I felt Satan attempting to gain a foothold in my mind. Because I knew with a certainty that God does not operate that way . The Lord provides peace and light. I knew this was a battle I was not designed to fight . Jesus had already won the battle . I needed to focus, to fix my mind, heart, and eyes on Him . I had to stop focusing on the pain of loss and look to Him alone. I believe that there are certain principles that we need to constantly focus on to center and strengthen our Christian walks . They are all found in James 4:7-12 . Relinquish control Resist the devil  Restore worship to a priority in our hearts  Reject sinful actions and attitudes  React to sin with sorrow  Respond to success with humility  Refuse to judge or slander others The very act of focusing our attention to live intentionally for God takes a lifetime . Each day brings new challenges . Yet we will continue to grow when we are focused on doing so . As we grow, and apply wisdom found in James 3:17 to our lives, we will find ourselves standing with a firm life foundation on which to build . A solid groundwork to construct faith, trust, and hope. “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” When my mind and heart is occupied with focusing on God and drawing near to Him, I don’t have the inclination to worry . When trouble arises, my very first instinct is to cry out to Him . I do not want to attract or carry strife. In calm times, we must all stay focused on deepening our walk with Him . So we do not stray away and allow worry to claim space in our life . After Jaime died, I could feel worry start to build if my loved ones took longer at an activity than I imagined they should. My mind would start to fill with endless possibilities for their delay. When that fear crept in, I knew I needed to turn to God immediately . Every time, He shifted worry to trust . Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 112:7 “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Just reading His words brings joy to my heart! He invites us to allow Him to give us rest. He delights in carrying our burdens . When we place our problems in His hands, we place ourselves under His dominion, and are free to enjoy the relief from stress . The way God intended us to live. This is the lifestyle He invites us to walk in with Him daily.

Are you tired of the same day to day routine? Do you often feel stressed out by your schedule? What would you like to change about your life? Do you think those changes will bring you lasting joy or peace ? When I was a child, I sometimes wished I could change my life. If only this or this or this (fill in the blank) would happen, I would be happy. I now understand that happiness wasn’t what I was missing . It was joy . I did not hold a deep joy that penetrated and permeated my soul. I didn’t become a Christian until I was 22 years old. Some people think that after Jesus enters their life things are automatically different. Actually, that’s when the hard work begins . I found that out myself. Nothing will change until we allow ourselves to be transformed . Just like anything else, we have to put work in to be successful. Jesus is always available, but if we don’t make the time to grow our walk through Him, we experience none of the benefits of our inheritance here on earth. Galatians 5:22 tells us, “ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control .” These are the character traits Jesus promises . He actually produces them in our life after we become followers of Him and allow Him to work in and through us. Isn't that exciting? Each one of the fruits of the spirit - or behaviors - is embodied by Jesus and we can experience them . Just as we are able to identify trees in nature by the fruit they produce, we are able to see Jesus at work in other believers by recognizing His fruits in them. As we grow our walk and dependence on Jesus, the fruits become more mature in us, and grow plumper and more visible to others. As defined in the dictionary, the word trait describes a distinguishing quality or characteristic that typically belongs to a person. The definition also mentions “a genetically determined characteristic.” I find that part fascinating! When we become believers of Christ, we are adopted into His family and we certainly do inherit His riches. His DNA becomes evident in us . I know how much I need that! God makes it clear that He allows us to choose what and who we follow. Even after accepting Jesus as our Savior, the trajectory of our growth is a choice we are allowed to make. If we do not choose to walk closely with Jesus, but allow the world and our fleshly desires to rule our thoughts, behaviors, and actions, we will never obtain the riches that could be ours to cherish and to shine to others, so that they will desire and attain the same for themselves through Jesus. We need Him; we need his traits to survive life. Remember, this world has an enemy in it. “ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world .” 1 Peter 5:8 Never underestimate the destruction the enemy wants to bring to your life, especially when you follow the Lord. Yet, I hold in high esteem the truth that Jesus speaks in John 16:33 . “ These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world .” Trouble will happen, but Jesus has already overcome it . He has the final victory . Jesus is the way . He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life . He tells us so in John 14:6. Jesus is our cornerstone . Seek Him. Find Him. Follow Him. Claim and believe the truths of God’s word and live the basics of faith as a lifestyle of worship.

My main goal as a mother is to teach my children to love, trust, honor, know, follow, and obey the Lord . As much I treasure them, they are mine for a season ; they will go back to, and they will answer to Him. Although I truly understand and deeply desire to do this for my children, and for Him, there are times when I know I fall short . Life interferes and times are so busy. I also know that Satan is ready to distract and discourage me. I don’t let Him. I want to keep my heart and mind fixed on the Lord and remember my goal…and His commandment to me as a parent . I need to make time to reflect. Then keep moving ahead. Even if I am moving forward with tiny steps of obedience daily, and I am asking God to bring my children to Him, the burden is off me . How freeing!! So do I want to hold onto the pressure of trying to do everything on my own ? Or do I want to allow God to work ? I believe God wants us to live a life of love and obedience to Him for our children to mirror . Then leave the rest to Him . So easy. Yet so hard. This doesn’t mean we can just go on and think He will magically make them obedient believers . We need to bring Him into every day life . Our responses and attitudes must be purified to reflect His . Our heart must be in alignment with His . We must desire and read His word . Prayers must be offered throughout each day as we yearn for our hearts to be yielded to His to enable us to reflect Him . Our prayers must lift our children to Him daily, as well as ourselves. We need to crave and allow God to perform a good work inside of us as He is working in our children. Those prayers must search the desire of our heart – is it for God to show Himself to our children and allow them to be strong followers of His ? “In you, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be put to shame. Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape; incline Your ear to me, and save me. Be my strong refuge, to which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress.” Psalm 71:1-3 We must seek Him in all we are and do . Then let our children see and hear this lifestyle modeled every single day . That’s the challenge . We are a work in progress. Yet the beauty in that fact is the single truth that our children are also a work in progress. We let them see that no one is perfect. Only God. He doesn’t expect any of us to be perfect. God desires our whole heart . Are we instructing our children to seek Him with a pure heart ? Or are we modeling this world we are in ? I think one of the challenges we must face as parents is what we do each day . Do we read books, listen to music, wear clothing…the list goes on…that reflects our desire to yield to this world – or to yield to Him? Do we allow each day to run us? Or do we run to Him and seek His ways and ask for Him to guide and time our days ? What would our world be like if we all had a true heart for Him ? If we forced ourselves to slow down and face what lies in our heart . I believe most of the problems in this world stem from our heart condition . We can each change that by seeking Him daily and allowing ourselves to be humbled and corrected . “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b The best way we can bless our children is to allow ourselves to love, trust, honor, know, follow, and obey the Lord . Let God complete His work in and through us because we deeply trust and desire Him.

I’ve always felt deeply . Every so often, I experience so many thoughts, that I have to sit with them for a while before I can begin to verbalize what I feel . The last couple of weeks have done that to me. The calming assurance I never forget, and rely on when this happens, is that God knows exactly how I feel . “ O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord .” Psalm 139:1-6 I have decisions weighing on my heart and mind. I’m waiting on direction from the Lord on important issues . I’m in limbo as I don’t understand my next move. “ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus .” Philippians 4:6, 7 I know assurance that I’m to wait. I have peace that He is at work . “ Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen .” Ephesians 3:20, 21 He works beyond what I think, know, or could imagine . His power works even when I cannot express all of what I am feeling . “I n the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God .” Romans 8:26, 27 God hears my every thought. In fact, He knows my thoughts before they cross my mind . God knows every need I will have, or am having. The Holy Spirit is already at work petitioning for me . Right this moment . I have been on my knees, expressing my innermost thoughts. The Holy Spirit is interceding for me in accordance with the will of God . I find security in knowing I Am is working on behalf of me . Our world is full of shifting values, morals, and laws. Most of what this world advertises and attempts to entice us with doesn’t matter . But God never changes . What He is, and Who He is, is consistent. His very nature is trustworthy and stable . I can rest in knowing He is in charge . God is in control . I may be waiting to find out what my next steps are, but His peace will carry me. Hi s promises and protection cover me, and all who trust in Him with open hands, and a willing heart . “ So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand .” Isaiah 41:10

Have you ever felt inadequate? Stupid? Have you been intimidated? Or felt (f ill in the blank )? Each of us has . We have all experienced that feeling of being "less than." But what we feel is simply that. What we feel . Feelings . What we think is not necessarily true . Have you ever been the victim of someone believing the worst about you? Especially when it is all lies ! What they think (or thought) about you was just that…what they thought . Just because someone thinks something does not make it true . Philippians 4:8 tells us, “ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things .” God’s word tells us that we must allow Him to master our mindset . The thoughts we entertain in our minds are not always the truths He wants there . Are you struggling with desires or leaning on crutches that do not come from Him? Do your thoughts free you and fill you with peace as they align with God’s words and thoughts? Or do they leave you feeling discouraged and afraid? 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, “ For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline .” He wants to free us from all that shifts us from Him, or that binds us in ways that distract us, or keep us from living in His truths. Our minds are powerful . They can free or imprison us . “ Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe .” Proverbs 28:26 Ephesians 4:29 instructs, “ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen .” Ephesians 4:32 continues, “ Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you .” If God doesn’t want unwholesome talk coming out of our mouths, He certainly does not want it residing in our minds . The Great I Am instructs us to build others up. Would He want us to tear ourselves down? Certainly not! If we allow ourselves to be defeated, we are unable to serve others and lift them up . As we study the Bible, we recognize more and more the many ways God has prepared us with tools to defend attacks, even on ourselves! “ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ .” 2 Corinthians 10:5 As God instructs us throughout the Bible, we must set our minds (and our hearts) on things above – not the things of this earth. As our walk with Him matures, we are able to see more clearly why His words carry such wisdom. It all revolves around Jesu s. After He delivers us, we are no longer a slave to this world – or to ourselves . Romans 7:25a “ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Remember to look Up ! If what you believe about yourself, or tell yourself is not in alignment with what God says – or if you occasionally struggle with thoughts that leave you feeling less than what God has spoken for you, dive into His word . Our thoughts are sneaky and untrustworthy . What we think about is not what God thinks. His value of us should be the guide we use to establish thoughts and mindset in our life . The best way to know Him, to reflect Him, and reside in His truths comes from an ongoing and growing relationship with Him . Just as we grow our lives and connections with those we care about on earth, we MUST do even more with Him . We cannot know or show Him if we do not grow in Him . Intentionally . Unleash His power in your life ! Your thoughts will change . Your mindset will change . Your life will change .

I was focused on worship . Standing in the second row at church, I was singing and meditating on the words my heart believed. My youngest daughter stood in front of me. I was not expecting her to fall backwards at that moment . Yet, when she did, I caught her easily and tightly wrapped my arms around her. She knew I would . In fact, she was counting on it . Over the last three and a half years, we’ve practiced the moves to our attachment dance. We’ve developed the glue that bond our hearts to one another . I don’t mind when she tests me. It shows me that she now believes I will be ready . I won’t drop her; I can support her. As I hugged her and continued singing, I thought of how Jesus calls us to fall into His arms daily . Our frail human attachment dance continues with Jesus, as we persist in tripping, swaying, twirling, and jumping to and fro in our walk with God. We make things hard . The simple truth is that He desires us to cast aside our desire to fend for ourselves . A dance is not what He requests . He yearns to care for us. His arms are ready to carry us . 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. ” Since every intimate fact about us was so intricately woven together before we were born, He knows exactly what we desire, and more importantly, what we need. We aren’t called to rest in the Lord; we were chosen to abide in Him . Resting would mean that we run to Jesus when we need Him . Abide means we choose to stay there, dependent upon Him for every single need . “ Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing .” John 15:4-5 Apart from God, we can do nothing . As we abide in Him, we acknowledge that He reigns over our lives . Control is relinquished . Not once. But daily . Yet, it is not through a dance. Not a give and take partnership. It is by trusting and believing, by placing ourselves under the dominion of Jesus because we realize and desire our intense need for Him. We must freely submit to Jesus, allowing Him to grow in us and change us, moment by moment . Permanent change is not fast; it is not easy. But it is necessary, and it is good. Fall backwards today . Straight into His arms . Abide and rest. Cast your cares upon Him .

Last week, I specifically asked God to humble me and allow me to become more like Him . As I whispered the words I truly meant, I knew that I was “asking for trouble.” Sometimes the prayers we offer to God can be scary. Just like when we pray for patience, I knew I would encounter both “painful” and “blessed” experiences ahead. I forgot to add the adjective, “embarrassing” to my list. As my Creator, God knows exactly what I need to become more like Him . “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10 It didn’t take long . Just a few days later I went to the county fair with my family. God was at work . I often reflect on my calling as a Christian and how that pertains to how I act and react to others daily . But, as at the fair, sometimes our emotions get the best of us, and we don’t think before we react . In Ephesians, Paul reminds us to walk worthy of the calling with which we are called . Sometimes, it’s hard . Obviously, it was for me that day at the fair. “Walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1b-3 I had a few frustrating things happen, but the incident that triggered me to react the opposite of how I wish I would have…was…at the kiddie airplane ride. I’m not proud of my reaction . We stood in line while the multi-colored airplanes twirled, lifting small children high and low into the air. I watched my youngest daughter as she waited first in line. This was her fourth full summer with us . Almost four years of her life had now been spent in the company of a forever family who adores her. She adores family time . Absolutely treasures time with us. Going to fairs and carnivals is a delight for her. After waiting for the planes to stop spinning and letting other riders out, the operator opened the gate for her to enter the ride area. Then he stopped and asked her to measure her height at a sign near the entrance to the ride . A sign we had not seen . My girl was about an inch taller than the maximum height requirement . “She is wearing tennis shoes that make her about an inch taller,” I informed him. He shook his head. “No ride,” he said in limited English. “But she’s not really that tall,” I insisted. “The shoes make her taller.” “No,” he insisted as he continued shaking his head. “Are you serious?” I asked. “Whatever,” I said with frustration. “Let’s go,” I told my daughter as we got out of line. I couldn’t believe that he had let us wait in line all that time and then told her she was too tall, when she really wasn’t . Also frustrating was the fact that he wouldn’t admit that it was clear her shoes made her taller . My kids (and my husband) watched me as we left the line . They were a little surprised at my reaction . Actually, I was too . No one else was as frustrated as I was . Immediately, I thought about what a bad example I was being to my family and the ride operator . “When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2 I had a choice as to whether I wanted to be frustrated or to realize that this silly airplane ride didn’t really matter . I was acting like a foolish person. I didn’t remain frustrated. How could I when God was already speaking to me ? Of course, the conversationalist that I am, I talked about the experience with my kids while we were still at the fair. I always think about how what I do affects others around me . My responses can draw someone to or push them away from Jesus . Drawing others to Him, just by allowing Him to shine, means everything to me . I’m so glad I prayed to be humbled . I wonder what is next… My prayer is now that I will handle being humbled with more visible grace and light as I allow Jesus to continue transforming me moment by moment .

Every day is a fresh opportunity to create the future you want to exist, but more importantly, to enjoy the moment you are living while doing it and giving praise to the Father who created each of us for a purpose. I never set out to “do my life over.” In fact, I was pretty satisfied with it, but God had other plans. He knew desires in my heart that I never even realized existed there, because He set them in me when I was created. What desires might need to be discovered in you? Maybe you want to re-create your life. Maybe you’re frustrated with the way you’ve handled things or with the way life has treated you. As long as you are still alive, you have the ability to seize the opportunity to begin again. Refuse to be a victim in your own life story.  It’s easy for some to let the flow of life carry them along. It’s also easy for others to try to manage every second of their life, without ever stopping to discover whether they are fulfilling desires hidden deep within them or goals long forgotten. Pause today. Let your heart dictate what you wish you could change about your life. What comes to mind? It takes a thought, then an action, to begin change. It’s harder to live in fear than in freedom. Listen to what God speaks to your heart.  I seek the Lord in all I do. It doesn’t make life easy; sometimes it appears to make it harder. Usually, He guides me in the ways that fill my heart with the greatest blessings. Sometimes, I make mistakes. But I take it all to Him. He has given me peace and joy and carried me through enormous hardships.  Step into the unknown. Take the risk of rectifying an act in your life or finding new freedom. Life is about growing and changing. A caterpillar cannot comprehend what he is missing or what he is about to become, until he leaves the comfortable world he knows, then experiences a great metamorphosis.

What if everyone switched the time usually used to vent and complain on social media and took those burdens and grievances to God instead ? “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you .” 1 Peter 5:6-7 . So many use their online space to attack others or air grievances . What does that accomplish ? What if the same amount of time was spent in the presence of God ? What if we only aired our attitude and thoughts, anger, and emotions to Him? The way He invites us to . He is the One who really cares about what is on your heart . God designed us for relationship with Him . When we humble ourselves under God and submit to Him, not only are we depending on Him to provide relief and help in His way, but we are accepting the fact that we are no better than the ones we are complaining about. In fact, we are acknowledging to God that we know He cares about all involved and will provide a resolution for everyone and everything . We accept that it will come through His hands and in His timing . This simple act of prayerful and intentional obedience impacts our lives on many levels . “ A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness .” Proverbs 12:23 When we are slow to speak, our thoughts and words are not tossed carelessly. As we are less inclined to blurt out emotions and opinions, we are more disposed to come before the Lord . When we present our burdens to God, His word promises that we will discover His peace . “ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus .” Philippians 4:6-7 In contrast, when we vent and complain to others without looking to God for help and provision, our actions bring the opposite result . Since the reverse of peace is worry, and the root of the word worry is anxiety and fear, we are inviting a divided mindset . This causes loss of trust and hope. As we sabotage our faith and walk with God, we stunt our growth and fellowship with Him . Most of the time the thoughts occupy our mind and cause stress or worry never materialize . Even when we are faced with incredible hardships and problems, worries can do nothing to resolve or erase the m. Take God at His word and bring everything to Him . Time invested in prayer is never wasted . Although the results may take much longer than we anticipate, they do come. His timing has been proven to be perfect . The result or answer to prayer is only part of the reason to trust God with our prayer requests. The work that He accomplishes through us and does in us when we humbly bow in submission and trust transforms our mindset, actions, and desires . We will be forever changed . Our mind can focus on what is true, just, noble, pure, and good. We no longer attract or entertain worry and strife. We rely on a higher source . We intentionally attract serenity. We draw nearer to the Lord, so He will draw nearer to us.

My youngest child loves to create acronyms, especially funny ones. Lately, they have all been about me. The last couple of days she has been calling me “MAP.” This same daughter has told me for years that she wants to be just like me. She is always saying that we are "twins." This sweetheart has had a long “I want to be like Mommy” phase. I was shocked last night when she told me that she didn’t want to be just like me anymore. I’ll admit. It hurt my ego. She’s growing up too fast, my heart protested. “Oh, no,” I said to her. “We’re not twins anymore?” “No,” she said without a trace of remorse. “Why not?” I asked. “Mommy’s work all the time. I don’t want to.” She laughs, but I immediately feel “Mom Guilt.” I don’t want her to grow up thinking all I do is work around the house. Soothing my ego, I remind her that I make time to play with her every single day, share a Bible study together, then we spend the day together in homeschool with a lot of intentional interactions. He response and attitude proved that she's good with that. In fact, she’s not guilting me with the acronym she chose for me. I remind myself that having only lived a normal family life for the last few years, she is simply making observations and voicing her feelings. Remember that acronym she's calling me? MAP. Know what she says it stands for? “Mommy’s A Peasant.” As she continued teasing and laughing about me being "MAP," the Holy Spirit gave me the best response for her. “Thank you,” I said. “What?” she asked. “You said I’m a peasant, right?” “Yes,” she said. “You said I do things for the family all day?” “Yes.” “Think about Jesus,” I reminded her. “I’m not nearly close enough to His character,” I said, “But if Jesus came to serve and not be served, I think I can try to do the same for my family with a humble spirit.” Her teasing stopped. She sat up, facing me with full attention and interest. We discussed Jesus and why He came to live on the earth among us. She’s heard most of what I said before, but began listening with a new perspective. Fresh thoughts and a different view gave life to the old Biblical tales. So far today she hasn’t called me a peasant, but she has designed an acronym for herself. It’s PAP. Her nickname is Peanut, and she now says, “Peanut’s a peasant.” In fact, she has now christened her Daddy as “DAP” and her sister as “MAP,” as well. Philippians 2:1-11 says, “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” How great our God is that He chooses to gift us with recognizable ways to draw ourselves and others to Him. How merciful is He that in our fallen nature where ego threatens to rule at every turn, the Holy Spirit lives inside those of us who love Him. He enables us to hear His quiet truths and remember that life is not about us. All that we do should lift Him toward the glory and honor He is due. May He increase and I decrease. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” My goodness. I love the way God shows me where my ego gets in the way. Why did my identity feel bruised when my daughter told me that I worked a lot? I know the answer. It's because I try so hard to be there for her. I make sure we play since she didn’t have time in the important formative years. I purposely create opportunities to grow our bonds with each other. But the key point to remember is that none of it would be possible without the work of my Heavenly Father allowing the good works to come to fruition. He is the One guiding my spirit to desire what to do with her. He is also the One forming the bonding and attachment that occurs. As I submit to Him and rely on His promptings, He freely flows into our lives. Because of Him, instead of feeling a little wounded with the opinion she voiced, I rejoice that she shares her thoughts so openly. I know that her feelings are not about me. I don't want my personal thoughts or feelings to twist what she shares with me. I know how easily emotions can distort truth. I want to really absorb what she is trying to communicate. Have you ever been humbled by the Lord? I have. Many times. Unfortunately, I’ve been forced to learn hard lessons in the area of humility. Especially in the areas I felt most competent or talented. The areas in which God blesses are sometimes our most vulnerable spots. It’s easier for us to be deceived and think that we can handle something on our own. We tend to look to Him less, until we learn lessons in humility the hard way and learn where our true strength lies. In Him. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” God cares for, protects, and lifts the humble. “Oh, Lord, please humble me so that I may be cared for and lifted closer as You desire.” Help me possess a humble spirit in my duties as "MAP" in Your eyes and the eyes of my family as we serve and shine you together in the godly ways You desire. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”

Yesterday was the anniversary of my daughter, Jaime’s death. In the year she passed, the date fell on Martin Luther King day. For me, when the days are separated, as they are this year, it feels like there are two anniversary dates. Although she is always present in my heart and thoughts, having two dates of remembrance leave her lingering in my memories a little more strongly. Yet, I do not grieve as one without hope . 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 expresses best what I feel in my spirit. “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus .” I will see her again . That truth is knitted into my heart and thoughts. As long as we are believers, we suffer no separation from beloved believers who have passed before us. There is no encouragement in the world that comforts me the way that God’s word does . My days are so short. My time is numbered. The days of my children and grandchildren are numbered. There is nothing better I can do with my time than to grow in knowledge and faith of my Lord Jesus and allow Him to shine to others. Let Him penetrate your mind and heart, too. The greatest joy I have in life is trusting Jesus and leaning on His strength and accepting His joy and love. I receive delight through relying on Christ, and in teaching Him to my children. Whether I am mentoring my grown son and grandson or teaching my girls in daily life or homeschool, there is a constant peace that buoys me. Seek Him. Secure yourself in His word. Rest at His feet. Nothing in life is more important than finding His truths and abiding in Him . Make time today . “ Indeed I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.” Ecclesiates 7:25 I cannot sorrow as one without hope. For I carry the light of Jesus in my soul and one day I will stand face-to-face with Him. After we embrace, I will anxiously seek my first-born child. When I find her, my soul will delight with joy that will last for eternity.

Jesus crafts intimate lessons for our family daily. Countless memories have been created in our kitchen while simply working together. I treasure each in my heart, while pondering how God entrusts me with such simple , yet essential and momentous points in time. Turning points aren’t always grand, yet they carry tremendous value. God’s gifts are often wrapped in trials. Our family washes dishes by hand (after our dishwasher stopped working several years ago). People actually get anxious when I admit that we didn’t run out to replace this appliance immediately. They say they couldn’t imagine living without a dishwasher . Do I miss it? Sometimes. I definitely do on the days we are in and out of the house with just enough time to eat and spread dirty dishes everywhere. Most days , no. Why ? I cherish the time spent with my family while completing chores together . We have a system. Usually, I wash and rinse dishes, and Marissa dries and puts them away. Many times, my husband will join in to help dry and put the dishes away, too. While we take care of dishes, Brooklyn folds and puts away the laundry we washed that day (she brings it to the kitchen to work on). May I share that she doesn’t just fold it. The items look professionally pressed. She “ hand irons ” pieces as she folds, lovingly forming soft creases in the fabric that express her deep gratitude for us, her beloved family. My mother’s eye observes and treasures special qualities God blessed us with in our home, and they way we commit their use to one another in His honor . We usually have the best discussions while everyone is gathered together without distractions . Often, we sing and dance while music is played and we always find something to laugh about. Even the dogs join in. Can you believe our Mini Schnauzer loves us to sing to her? One day last week, the girls and I were listening to a variety of songs as we worked. Naively, I chose one that I had not listened to in years . Instruments sounded the opening chords of a piece I used to enjoy with my oldest daughter, Jaime in her teen years. A realization pierced me . I have officially lived twice as long as Jaime . My age is 58 years. My beloved daughter died at age 29. Then, another thought occurred. Jaime was born when I was 18. It has been 10 years since she passed away. That means I have now lived a total of 28 years of my life without her . Now I have lived a little over half of my life without her . My heart seized at the realization . I wept . My pain wasn’t expressed in a loud, sobbing cry, but with a quiet, resigned sadness that understands I cannot change anything, yet accepts that sorrow will always line my soul with the painful loss only God has carried me through. Soon, the years will begin adding up so that I have lived more and more of my life without her. It’s not supposed to be that way. Children are supposed to live longer than parents. The imperfections in this world could rip apart our relationship with God . Yet, He doesn’t desire it to . “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge.” Psalm 91:4 He created us to desire Him . Not only in the good times . A best friend cradles and carries you . They never leave your side in the hardest moments . That is Jesus . My best friend . “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed. Because His compassions fail not, they are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 As my silent tears exposed my grief, Marissa tightly hugged me. We shared the longest embrace I can remember. Wishing she could erase my pain, yet understanding that I had to embrace this season of it, my daughter simply and bravely stood with me in it. She acknowledged my grief and loved me in it . Just like Jesus does . Our broken dishwasher was a catalyst for the continued work the Lord was crafting in my personal journey, as well as in our family connection. The multi-faceted mystery of God is so much more than we see or imagine . Faith continues growing in our home. In our lives. In our hearts. In the actions of my children. I am immensely thankful for the love we share each day. I’m also grateful for the tears . “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 Just like me. Just like you. “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in your book?” Psalm 56:8 Jesus is so concerned about our pain that He lovingly keeps track of what we do and what happens to us, storing our tears in a bottle, personally and intimately caring about every single event that occurs in our lives. Beautiful examples are modeled for us to follow for others . Marissa couldn’t store my tears or pain in a bottle, but she could stand with me . In the pain. No words needed. Just like Jesus.

Many years ago, a person I attended church with, but did not really know, posted a question on Facebook. I remember seeing her post and knowing without hesitation what my answer was. “Who is your best friend?”  she asked. I typed, “ Jesus .” It didn’t take long before I was questioned. “Write your true best friend,” she wrote back. “ He is ,” I replied. I remember feeling slightly hurt that she would try to get me to change my answer. Yet, I couldn’t . Of course, my husband is the next answer. Yet, I cannot deny that Jesus is truly my very best friend. It would feel like a lie if I had not answered with His name. Jeremiah 1:19b promises, “For I am with you,” says the Lord, “to deliver you.” God’s presence in my life makes all the difference . He has absolutely changed me from the inside out. When I accepted Jesus as my Savior, everything changed . Not at once. It took me a while to truly let myself be transformed. In fact, I’m still a work in progress. But I hope that when I die people will know without question that I loved the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind. I want my life to reflect what He has done for me so that it will attract others to Him . Because Jesus is my best friend. Who is your best friend? A best friend is defined as “a person’s closest friend.” Jesus has carried me through extremely tough situations and seasons . Although He allowed things to happen, He never left me. He has a purpose for all that happens . Only Jesus knows how to comfort me and reach in perfect ways that draw me nearer to Him . My tears are placed into His bottle and He keeps track of all my wanderings (Psalm 56:8). When I pray and cry aloud, He shall hear my voice (Psalm 55:17). When I cast my burdens on the Lord, He shall sustain me (Psalm 55:22). Whenever I am afraid, I can trust in Him (Psalm 56:3). I cannot ignore or deny His presence . He has blessed me beyond measure when I am unworthy. I will praise His name, for it is good . Who is your best friend? The lovingkindness of the Lord is better than life (Psalm 63:3) . He is the first person I think of when I awaken, and the last person in my thoughts before I drift to sleep. Jesus is my best friend . “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8 Is Jesus your best friend, too? He desires to be . “ Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands! Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before His presence with singing. Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,  And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting. And His truth endures to all generations .” Psalm 100:1-5

The world continuously pushes messages of self : self-awareness, self-focus, self-esteem, self-identity. Friends tell us to be strong when we face adversary. Quotes instruct us to look within for strength. Instead of asking for prayer , people often ask for “good vibes.” What we need is to read and practice the truths in the Bible. Understanding and believing Christ will set us free . Otherwise, we just become self-absorbed. When we are believers in Christ, followers of Jesus, He abides in us . His power lives in us . We have all we need . But do we believe that truth? Do we live like it ? “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:12b-13 Are you asking God to work in you to do His good pleasure? Do you desire to be blameless and harmless as you shine His light into this dark world? Those of us who confess to be Christians must actually practice the very same discipline that Jesus employed when He obeyed God. The truth is that God actually helps us desire obedience to Him! When Christ lives in us, and we direct our hearts to obedience in and through Him, we have direct access to His strength. Are you growing a personal relationship with Him? Simply ask Him to give you the desire to want to do His will and ask Him for the strength and obedience to follow and obey Him . And mean it. If we train ourselves to think like Christ through daily reading of His word, relying on the indwelling Holy Spirit to give us wisdom and understanding, follow Him in loving submissiveness, and serve others as He calls us to, we will gain access to a deeper walk with Him and even more desire to follow as He directs. As we follow Him, we gain even more desire to do so. He wants obedient and submissive hearts. Are you harnessing the full power of Christ in your life? None of us are. “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened.” Luke 11:9 I believe there is so much we are missing out on. This world does not have the answers. Christ does. The miracle of the Holy Spirit alive in us and the blessing of prayer and the power it holds are mysteries we are barely tapping into. Don’t look within. Don’t look around at what others have or are doing. Look Up to find all you need . Then start claiming what He promises to those who love and obey Him.